I almost feel embarrassed writing this. Ex DP left me in pregnancy and got round to seeing our daughter around a year later. By the time she was two we had tried to have a relationship, he still wouldn’t commit properly. He kept saying he wanted another dc, then delaying. Saying he wanted to move in, then delaying. I got my shit together a few months ago and drew a line. He sees her once a week and takes her out, never overnight. Over Christmas he stayed nearby in a hotel and I also wanted to spend time with DD as I work full time too. We had a couple of days out and he has muttered under his breath (he did this loads in the relationship), when I’ve said I would prefer to go to a different place he’s complained about the expense (he’s on a lot of money and dropped thousands on his hotel stay, he can afford his ticket and I didn’t expect him to pay for mine), he says it’s all about me, it’s my way or no way, I’m full of myself… etc etc. I don’t give DD fast food but he saw an empty mc Donald’s wrapper in my car the other day and told me I shouldn’t eat that stuff… I rarely eat it and have a healthy diet with exercise. In contrast he’s overweight and drinks heavily, I would never comment on his appearance.
He’s even started saying I am trying to alienate him from DD, no basis for this at all, and this is despite me totally supporting his relationship with her even when he didn’t see her for months after she was born.
I’m not perfect, I know that. I call him out on not seeing DD as much as he could, I often tell him he has less money (when he raises it) because he opted out of being a family unit. If I ever make these comments he tells me I’m always thinking about money or makes some sweeping statement like I’m ‘starting again.’
Obviously I am well aware that days out even over holidays are not going to work and this holiday will be the last that we do it. I struggle so much with him as he twists everything I do or say.