AIBU to want to buy myself an Oura ring for my 40th birthday?

[HannahTheBanana]

I’m turning 40 in two months and would really like to buy myself an Oura ring as a birthday present. It feels like a milestone birthday and I genuinely feel I deserve a proper treat.

I come from the mentality that it’s OK to treat yourself sometimes, especially when you work hard. I’ve also been dealing with six months of ongoing complications after a miscarriage last year, which has been emotionally and physically exhausting, and this feels like something just for me after a very tough period.

My partner is strongly against it, mainly because it costs £499 and isn’t a necessity.

Context: over the summer I overspent on my credit card and had to dip into our savings, which I fully accept wasn’t great. Since then I’ve been more careful. We have joint finances, a monthly pocket money allowance of £350 each, and I earn more and therefore contribute more to the joint pot. We’re also planning some work on the house, so we’re trying to save as much as possible and every penny counts.

I feel frustrated because this would be my one-off treat for my 40th, not a regular spend, and I’m not asking him to buy it. But every discussion turns into an argument and I end up feeling like a child being told off.

AIBU?

Repaid the savings, yes. I just think work on the house is going to cost sooo much more that £499 is a small drop in a water

its not great… but I’m hoping I won’t loose much weight! I want to track my overall wellbeing, sleep, stress. I find it motivational to help myself!

I’d get it from my own money.

Could your husband have already bought you one for your birthday so he’s trying to put you off buying one before he gives it to you?

I think seeing that I don’t sleep well, or am stressed would help motivate myself to go to bed earlier etc. It’s quite ridiculous typing it in tbh! But I know myself,
I need a visual nudge!

Yeah, you summed me up pretty well. I’m heavily influenced… perhaps should spend the money on a good therapist instead.

Thank you! I’ll have a look

Yeah I got an oura ring for christmas for £10]... not a ring like an oura ring. An actual oura ring...
Its a v3 I care about the functionality not what it looks like tbh. Id rather spend my money on something else.

if you are on a budget you dont need to spend £499.

I'd resell some of the stuff you spend £1k or go through your wardrobe and have a clear out. Ypu.can easily raise £200 or so on vinted (well i could anyway)

Separately you budget £350 a month discretionary spends... so even if you feel you must have a £500 version its easily achievable via budgeting within 8 weeks..

Ok fine, a gift but not a treat! It’s not even got a clock face - I wanted an analogue watch, not something that spies on me and tethers me to an app 😅 but I guess I’m not in the target market. My point is, if OP wants to buy one then buy one. It’s not a gift anyway if she’s buying it for herself?!

Firstly, I have a v4 Oura, I wouldn't have spent £499. The silver one is £249 at the moment. DH bought it for my birthday.

Second, it isn't a one off spend because you really need to subscribe to get the most out of the analytics.

Third, it's only a tool at the end of the day, just having one isn't going to magically sort out the disorganised parts of your life.

Maybe this is why your DH has reservations, rather than the actual money? You mentioned spending money on a therapist instead, but maybe something like a wellness class, tai chi or yoga might be better for you, and treat yourself to something more glamorous as a birthday treat.

Ongoing subscription at about £75 a year too? How in to fitness/wellness are you?

Do you get your 10k steps in a day? Do you do some resistance training? Are you limiting upf/sugar? Or s your sleep hygiene good?

All of these are low cost wins and I don’t think spending on this before you have done the basics is worthwhile

Not all users wear them to lose weight

Not to upset you after your miscarriage, but I could see this being really useful during peri menopause. How much more do you earn and does your DH never treat himself? What did he do for his milestone birthdays? If you price around you can spend less than £500, depending on the version bought. I think that you need to revisit how much fun money you have. I puzzle at a lot of posters who earn well but live ridiculously frugal, though. I treated myself to a Dyson hairdryer. It's money well spent because I enjoy the effects every day. My income is less than average.

It sounds as if you just fancy an Oura and are making up the reasons afterwards. Not sure a birthday which is a multiple of 10 really justifies an electronic thing which tells you what you already know - eg you’re tired / stressed / walked more one day than another. Plus that subscription is more expense. It’s all designed to remove money from you… but you seem to be a willing victim!

I have had multiple miscarriages and spent a ridiculous amount on money on various things and items. We can't replace those missing babies. So I wont tell you not to buy the ring. But counselling can help x

They are on offer in John Lewis and you can also pay with Klarna at the checkout so you can pay it over three months so not so bad.

Also the rose gold one scratches really easily so maybe don’t choose that one.

Buy it! You’ll regret otherwise.

Just get it if you want one! I don’t really see why you need your husband’s permission. Does he ask you every-time he wants to buy himself something? My husband just spent 6k on a milestone birthday gift for himself. He works hard for his money and you can’t take it with you when you’re gone.

"DH spent £500 on a watch without talking about it first, he has history of running up debt on credit cards and we've only just paid off his latest from Summer, we're meant to be saving up to do some work to the house! IABU he should have at least spoken to me first??"

The sound of thousands of ducks being ordered to get in a row would be deafening

What a strange take on whether to get one or not. Do people usually consider this when thinking about buying rings? Why do you presume the OP is likely to gain or lose weight? Even if she is looking to gain muscle, her fingers aren't going to get bigger and there is no reason to think she is currently overweight.

So you overspend in the summer and are claiming to have reformed. But now, a few months later, you want to frivolously spend £500 you need for other stuff just because you are 40? Team DP here.

This is one of my arguments for not getting one for myself - that I don't need a ring telling me that I should get more sleep ,when I already have a watch and my phone telling me.

I’ve just reread this. What is his reasoning for not getting it?

Context: over the summer I overspent on my credit card and had to dip into our savings, which I fully accept wasn’t great. Since then I’ve been more careful. We have joint finances, a monthly pocket money allowance of £350 each, and I earn more and therefore contribute more to the joint pot. We’re also planning some work on the house, so we’re trying to save as much as possible and every penny counts

Are you married OP?
I am struggling to understand why you’re asking your partner about a £500 personal spend.
Buy the ring OP and maybe assess if it’s a new partner you need for your 40th.