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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what age you would say is no longer dying young

368 replies

Whyohwhy88 · 01/01/2026 19:35

Although hard still I feel from 80 onwards it’s expected

OP posts:
applegingermint · 01/01/2026 23:13

NewYearSameYou · 01/01/2026 23:05

Yet we're all expected to work past that age to collect a state pension...

When the aged pension was established, retirement only lasted a few years before death, given the eligibility age was set at 70, then pulled down to 65 (men) and 60 (women) after WW2.

These days people reasonably expect a retirement of 20 odd years. I’m not saying that either end of the spectrum is right, but there’s a practical reason that we need to limit the ratio of people on post work benefits.

bridgetreilly · 01/01/2026 23:15

Dying young: under 60.

Dying earlier than expected: under 70-75.

ByRedBee · 01/01/2026 23:17

I’m soon to be 48 and unless they cure pancreatic cancer I most definitely won’t make it to 50
it’s strange as my oldest is 27 and youngest is 9

Damsonjam1 · 01/01/2026 23:18

80 plus for having a long life, and dying / decline in the next decade to be relatively expected.

50 to 80 dying younger than expected and more sad.

Below 50 for 'dying young'.

Funnys · 01/01/2026 23:31

late 80's

Mumandcarer80 · 01/01/2026 23:34

I’d say 60 plus. But I know parents who have lost children. So even below 60 that’s a lot more years than any child who has sadly passed has lived. That’s the way I look at it.

omggggggg · 01/01/2026 23:34

ByRedBee · 01/01/2026 23:17

I’m soon to be 48 and unless they cure pancreatic cancer I most definitely won’t make it to 50
it’s strange as my oldest is 27 and youngest is 9

I’m so sorry. Life can be so unfair! Hold your loved ones close x

Lotsnlotsoflove · 01/01/2026 23:38

Chasingsquirrels · 01/01/2026 19:44

But it still isn't "young".

My late-DH was 58 when he died, that felt like dying younger than expected. But not dying young, which would be 40's and earlier to me.

I agree. An earlier death than one would like is 50 to 70-ish. Young is before 45. 80 plus is a good innings.

pollyglot · 01/01/2026 23:39

Wow, 75?? These days? I'm 75. I get up at 5 a.m. every day. I spend 2 hours 6-8 a.m. working really hard in my one acre garden- cutting hedges, pulling weeds, pruning trees, spraying and treating my dozens of citrus, fig, banana and soft fruit trees. I make vast quantities of jams and chutneys -the fruit and preserves go to needy people in the community. In winter, rather than going out into the garden, I write books, 5 to 8 a.m. I teach archaeology, French and Japanese at U3A, and atttend groups in history, genetics and geology. I'm teaching myself Italian. DH and I recently spent 2 months travelling in Canada and the Med, walking a minimum of 15,000 steps per day, exploring historical/archaeological sites. We're going abroad for another 2 months in April, and again in November. I fly regularly abroad to visit grandchildren. Had I not had minor heart surgery 2 years ago, I'd be dead, so yes, from that point of view, I'm past the age of a reasonable life expectancy - but I'm far from old in terms of achievements.

EconomyClassRockstar · 01/01/2026 23:46

ByRedBee · 01/01/2026 23:17

I’m soon to be 48 and unless they cure pancreatic cancer I most definitely won’t make it to 50
it’s strange as my oldest is 27 and youngest is 9

I'm so sorry. That absolutely sucks. Life is very much a literal lottery.

BruFord · 01/01/2026 23:56

I'm strong and fit too - but age has nothing to do with whether you jump up and bounce back if you trip and fall.

@scottishgirl69 A strong and fit 80-year-old will take longer to heal than a younger person though even if they don’t have any medical conditions. Cells divide more slowly which extends the time it takes for wounds to close; less collagen; reduced bone density, etc.

I had a bad accident last year at 50 and was frustrated at how long it took for the fractures to heal.. I even paid for a DEXA scan to check whether I had signs of osteoporosis-nope, I have normal bone density for a woman of my age.

But I don’t heal like a 25-year-old and the healing time will only extend in the future. I imagine that’s why some elderly people go downhill after a fall, it takes so long to get better, they get bed bound and depressed.

selfloveandselfrespect · 01/01/2026 23:59

AutumnAllTheWay · 01/01/2026 20:51

Under 50- tragically young

50-60- far too young

60-73- too young

73+- awful for those who love them but not really young to die

Agree with this 👌🏼

scottishgirl69 · 02/01/2026 00:01

BruFord · 01/01/2026 23:56

I'm strong and fit too - but age has nothing to do with whether you jump up and bounce back if you trip and fall.

@scottishgirl69 A strong and fit 80-year-old will take longer to heal than a younger person though even if they don’t have any medical conditions. Cells divide more slowly which extends the time it takes for wounds to close; less collagen; reduced bone density, etc.

I had a bad accident last year at 50 and was frustrated at how long it took for the fractures to heal.. I even paid for a DEXA scan to check whether I had signs of osteoporosis-nope, I have normal bone density for a woman of my age.

But I don’t heal like a 25-year-old and the healing time will only extend in the future. I imagine that’s why some elderly people go downhill after a fall, it takes so long to get better, they get bed bound and depressed.

I was responding to someone who said that they would bounce back from a fall at 60. I broke my arm at 38. That was the point I was making - that you can have a fracture at any age. I've had several

EmeraldShamrock000 · 02/01/2026 00:02

I’d love to know when I was going to die, I’d like a date so I could work around it. I spend a lot of time worrying about it so I’d rather have confirmation. 😂 my parents died youngish imo, DM 69, Dad 70.

scottishgirl69 · 02/01/2026 00:05

applegingermint · 01/01/2026 23:13

When the aged pension was established, retirement only lasted a few years before death, given the eligibility age was set at 70, then pulled down to 65 (men) and 60 (women) after WW2.

These days people reasonably expect a retirement of 20 odd years. I’m not saying that either end of the spectrum is right, but there’s a practical reason that we need to limit the ratio of people on post work benefits.

Sorry what? Are you trying to suggest that people should die younger as not to claim too much retirement benefits

The absolute opposite should be true given that people pay into it for 30 years and some people die before they get their state pension

JohnTheRevelator · 02/01/2026 00:05

I'd say 80.

BruFord · 02/01/2026 00:06

@scottishgirl69 Ah, I see what you mean.

I agree wit them that a fit 60-year-old will bounce back from a fall- although if they break any bones, they may not be bouncing for several months!

Etincelle · 02/01/2026 00:10

70s

applegingermint · 02/01/2026 00:11

scottishgirl69 · 02/01/2026 00:05

Sorry what? Are you trying to suggest that people should die younger as not to claim too much retirement benefits

The absolute opposite should be true given that people pay into it for 30 years and some people die before they get their state pension

No, I’m saying that the ratio of workers to people on post retirement benefits has to be kept in check otherwise it’s unaffordable. There’s 2 ways to do this: means test the pension, or lift the age of first payment.

No one “pays in”; their taxation funds current pensioners. There’s no account set aside for your retirement by the government. Your state pension will be funded by that generation’s tax payers.

FrenchBunionSoup · 02/01/2026 00:11

Harlequi · 01/01/2026 22:52

I have a grey area 80-85 admittedly. Not unexpected or too young but I wouldn’t go as far as saying expected if in good health.

79 is mean average (so all those who really did die young bring that down). Median and modal averages are higher than that.

Mean 79
Median 82,3
Modal 86.7

In the UK (2018-2020 data) for males

Edited

It's true that it's the mean, but there are relatively few people dying very young so it doesn't bring the average down that much. As you note, the median is 82.3 so half of men will die by that age.

I get that a death might feel out of the blue and a sudden shock if someone was old but in good health until their death, but that doesn't mean that they died young in my view if you see what I mean.

Fbfbfvfvv · 02/01/2026 00:16

I think as a sweeping statement I think I’m not surprised if someone dies over 75 - so I think that’s the point when I no longer think of them as young to die.

But it’s very dependent on the individual in reality. There is someone I know who is 65 and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they died because they are a very old 65. Equally I know someone who is 83 who seems so much younger and I would probably feel he was too young to die if he died now.

PurpleFlower1983 · 02/01/2026 00:17

80+ now I think.

scottishgirl69 · 02/01/2026 00:17

applegingermint · 02/01/2026 00:11

No, I’m saying that the ratio of workers to people on post retirement benefits has to be kept in check otherwise it’s unaffordable. There’s 2 ways to do this: means test the pension, or lift the age of first payment.

No one “pays in”; their taxation funds current pensioners. There’s no account set aside for your retirement by the government. Your state pension will be funded by that generation’s tax payers.

That's odd. Because I've paid national insurance for over 30 years - ditto taxes. According to the govt I have to pay 35 years worth of NI contributions to get my full state pension

Is that not the case?

scottishgirl69 · 02/01/2026 00:23

The state pension is a pittance compared to some other countries - maybe the Govt should put aside more money to raise it so that pensioners aren't in poverty in their later years

Etincelle · 02/01/2026 00:24

scottishgirl69 · 02/01/2026 00:17

That's odd. Because I've paid national insurance for over 30 years - ditto taxes. According to the govt I have to pay 35 years worth of NI contributions to get my full state pension

Is that not the case?

Why do you think that makes what appleginger wrote untrue?. She's correct.