Air fryer Christmas gift

[WhatKatieDid]

Hi all,
long term lurker, rare poster.
so we this year had our kitchen done and have a family of 7 so while I was really excited and grateful for this (it really needed doing) it was also a BIG thing, I borrowed my mum’s air fryer and set up a kitchen in the front room and went loads easier than expected. BUT my DH (different culture to me) had a real unexpected (to me) problem with the air fryer, said he’d heard they’d cause cancer and forbid me from using it to cook for his DD (15f one of our kids that aren’t mine too) so she could never have oven stuff - really really inconvenient during that time. I didn’t, she had other stuff or went to her mum’s (I told her to take it up with him herself).

this was April.

open my Christmas gifts. He has bought me AND his mum an air fryer (NOT only gift and I had other gifts I wanted plus personal too) but I was fuming, he claims not to remember the ‘ban’ and thought it was a great gift, I’m wondering if he’s a psychopath. AIBU

What an arsehole. I hope it hurt when you hit him over the head with it.

Psychopath is a bit strong, no?! Maybes he's just done some research and changed his mind?

I bucked the trend for having an air fryer, just because I didn't want something else on the worktop and thought a conventional oven and a microwave were enough. My mum and DIL persuaded me to get one and I'm so glad I did. Fish fingers, chicken nuggets, sausages, chicken skewers, steak bakes, garlic bread are a few things I've cooked, you don't need to preheat like a conventional oven and it's a shorter cooking time, plus unlike a microwave the food browns just like in an oven. I wouldn't be without it now. I hope you and your MIL enjoy your air fryers 🙂

I store mine in my now-redundant oven! Can't bear more shite on the worktop.

Where as I love my air fryer, I wouldn’t be impressed with one as a Christmas present, especially with his previous comments I think I would have given it back

Interestingly Ninja recently advertised on FB glass based air fryer as "our first non toxic air fryer ' . Stupidly i commented on the advert without screenshotting it. They swiftly took the advert down

To be fair, the older ones are meant to have coating that is supposedly releasing toxins when damaged. Teflon, for example. That's why they are now advertising the "non-toxic" versions. You can also just put glass or metal inserts into it and that should help. He should have done his research back then and found a simpler solution for everyone.

I've just bought one for myself for Christmas (single parent...I buy my own things and mostly they are just practical stuff we need anyway) and had to look around quite a bit for the right one. I hope he's checked that he's bought you a proper "non-toxic" airfryer. If not, send him back to switch it.

Sorry I thought that was obviously a bit tongue in cheek.

yes maybe. But then why not apologise instead??

Psychopath was a bit of a joke, sorry,
not sure you understood the post though, I’m not against air fryers. I used one and found it fine. He was and it made my life much more difficult at the time. I didn’t want one as a Christmas present and would have rather had an apology that he’d been wrong about it and made life harder than an air fryer and smugness about what a great present it was.

This. I would NOT be impressed with any kitchen appliance
as a gift, unless it was some super duper fancy coffee machine that I had actually asked for.

I'm presuming he does all the cooking for himself and his DD? After a claim that your cooking method causes cancer and they xant eat - surely you dont cook for them anymore?

This

absolutely.every.time

I would use it for you and the other children but he and his DD can fend for themselves until he sees sense.

(otoh: is he gaslighting you in other ways too?)

What did his DD say, as she can back you up

Do you mean when the kitchen was being done or now? I did cook for him and DD during kitchen renovation altho sometimes DD got something she didn’t want or had to go to her mum’s as I was using air fryer (and I told her to take it ip with him when she wasn’t pleased). Now I haven’t even unboxed the air fryer but on petty principle would absolutely not include his food in it (not DD’s fault at all so would just ask I guess)

See interesting, I tongue in cheek said psychopath bc I felt very gaslighted. Others have gone PSYCHOPATH HES JUST BEING THOUGHTFUL. Dunno in all honesty. For some reason it’s made me question a lot.

Also not DD’s fault or wish so would never not cook for her unless he/she said don’t

i think you need to look at your relationship as a whole to know how to take this.

In your shoes, i would probably have told him to shove it where the sun doesn't shine and reminded him repeatedly that he refused to have food cooked for his DD in it.

And going forward, depending on how your relationship is, i would not be cooking for him or his DD if the meal was planned using the air fryer (if you don't make him take it back to the shop), until he issued a public and grovelling apology for being an arse. But do evaluate your relationship - if it is only this, you can use it to teach him what acceptable presents are (for you and his mum) and move on. or ... whatever it is that suits you best.