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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Baby at Burger King- do I live in a bubble?

304 replies

Howshat · 31/12/2025 22:48

We live in the countryside. Took DC to the city today and had lunch at Burger King. There was a couple there with their baby, about 8 or 9 months old. Not walking. She was sitting in a high chair and had a phone in front of her. She was mainly ignoring it and looking around at the people in the restaurant.

Their food came and the parents fed her a burger, chips and apple juice, with the phone still in front of her.

I‘m happy to accept that I live in a bubble. But I‘ve never seen anything like this before and was very shocked. This was a baby, not a toddler.

Is this a normal thing nowadays?

OP posts:
Blimpop · 01/01/2026 10:53

I live in the countryside, but I recognise that often means we only see the briefest of snap shots of other people's lives. Its not ideal, but I don't think you can judge anyone on that small moment in time. Maybe the family were having a shit time and they all needed a moments peace to get through the day.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 01/01/2026 11:07

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 01/01/2026 10:21

That's utterly grim. Food and phone.

I don't buy the Mumsnet "snapshot into their life" theory. The sort of people who give fast food and a phone to a baby are not spending every other day enraging meaningfully and preparing wholesome meals.

You've managed to observe all people everywhere at all times have you?

People can cook wholesome meals AND believe it's ok to occasionally have a BK or Maccies. People can use a screen AND engage with children.

"People who do this are not people who do the other" is a horrible sweeping generalisation and says a lot more about how you think than it does about other people's behaviour.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 01/01/2026 11:10

BeeDavis · 01/01/2026 10:47

Your 2 year old having a Burger is a little different to an 8/9 month old 🫠

Edited

Doesn't change the principle behind that post though, does it. It was a one off and people observing wouldn't know that.

myhaggisblewup · 01/01/2026 11:11

Itsmetheflamingo · 31/12/2025 23:06

A baby doesn’t need a shitty pouch or jar either, not sure why you’re picking this as superior

That's true because every other mum on here prepares fresh home made food for their little ones from organic fruit and veg that they have grown in their own kitchen garden.🙄

falalalalaaaah · 01/01/2026 11:39

Everyone judges, I judge when I see babies watching YouTube and eating McDonald’s.
I judge when I see 12 year olds being given free rein on Instagram and Tik Tok.
Im sure there are people out there that have and do judge my life.
I judge you for thinking living in the countryside is an important part of this post.
I judge you for calling it “The City”
Ultimately though unless what you are judging parents on is neglectful or criminal then it is none of your business.
YABU with your wide eyed innocence.. I didn’t know babies ate chips, of course you do.

Clearinguptheclutter · 01/01/2026 11:42

Pretty grim but doesn’t surprise me at all

I remember being shocked before having DCs when a wealthy family showed up at a restaurant and gave each of their 5(?) kids a tablet to watch so that they could eat their dinner undisturbed. Tbf the kids got a healthy meal but at the time I was shocked. Now I have DCs of my own I don’t think it’s good but I (sort of) get it

Clefable · 01/01/2026 11:52

I wouldn’t be that bothered about the food. DD1 never had a McDonalds or anything till much older, but DD2 did earlier, not unusual with second children I imagine. Although now neither of them like McDonalds or BK etc which is inconvenient when we are on a road trip and it’s the easiest option!

I don’t like the phone thing but again it’s nothing to do with me and I have been guilty of using the dancing fruits in the car or when one of mine was really upset and traditional methods weren’t working.

But I think expending mental energy on someone else’s parenting is generally just a waste of time. My DD1’s hours of time on Minecraft would no doubt appall many on here, so it’s best just to worry about your own parenting and leave other people to theirs.

Petitchat · 01/01/2026 11:58

Clefable · 01/01/2026 11:52

I wouldn’t be that bothered about the food. DD1 never had a McDonalds or anything till much older, but DD2 did earlier, not unusual with second children I imagine. Although now neither of them like McDonalds or BK etc which is inconvenient when we are on a road trip and it’s the easiest option!

I don’t like the phone thing but again it’s nothing to do with me and I have been guilty of using the dancing fruits in the car or when one of mine was really upset and traditional methods weren’t working.

But I think expending mental energy on someone else’s parenting is generally just a waste of time. My DD1’s hours of time on Minecraft would no doubt appall many on here, so it’s best just to worry about your own parenting and leave other people to theirs.

I used to restrict my DD's gaming time, when she was a teen.
Now she's in her thirties and I love gaming myself. Spending many hours on it (retired)
DD says I was cruel, taking her off the game at crucial points.
I now agree.....🤣

Clefable · 01/01/2026 12:06

Petitchat · 01/01/2026 11:58

I used to restrict my DD's gaming time, when she was a teen.
Now she's in her thirties and I love gaming myself. Spending many hours on it (retired)
DD says I was cruel, taking her off the game at crucial points.
I now agree.....🤣

I love this!

We are a big gaming family, that’s how my husband and I met, so we do a lot individually and together. DD1 amazes me with the stuff she builds on Minecraft, it’s so creative. She likes to plan them out on paper and then create in the game. She’s only 6 (nearly 7) but I couldn’t do the stuff she does! She and DH sometimes play together on the same world and build stuff together. Then I log in and end up accidentally destroying stuff and getting told off 🙈

BoudiccaRuled · 01/01/2026 12:07

Not sure you are in a place to judge really, OP.
You took your own kids there, after all.

Dolallytats · 01/01/2026 12:25

So the phone was in front of the child, but the child wasn't paying attention to it and the mum was chatting and smiling with the child.

Wow, what bad parenting😒I really don't understand the shock. Sounds like they were having a lovely time

Datadriven · 01/01/2026 13:03

I see people give their kids phones in all sorts of situations where in my generation, they would have been given interaction with parents or would have had a toy to be interested in. I don’t blame parents as parenting is hard enough that of course people will use whatever is available for making things easier particularly if they do not understand the downsides. However, there is evidence of many, significant developmental issues and I’m surprised phone use for babies and children hasn’t been outlawed, because the impact on the developing child is massive and will most likely have huge implications in future generations. I’m glad I’m too old to have to worry about managing these kids in the workplace. My friends whoever work in primary schools say they are kidding kids coming through who haven’t been toilet trained, who won’t do as they are asked, and who can’t cope with stimulus that is not tailored to them at their level in that moment- completely different from previous years (even 10 years ago, and getting worse.

It would take too long to summarise the research evidence to put here but I have asked ChatGPT ‘What would happen to a baby who is given a phone instead of caregiver interaction during the ages of 1-3?’ - the answer is below. Obvs all the usual caveats apply re trusting ChatGPT, but I have read many academic journals that say the same thing. Using phones with babies and young children may well have massive consequences because phones do not respond to the child’s moods etc, which is a fundamental part of how babies and children learn to regulate their nervous systems, upon which so much else depends.

chatgpt…

Between ages 1–3, a baby’s brain is developing at extraordinary speed, and it is experience-dependent. What matters most at this stage is live, responsive, emotionally attuned interaction with caregivers. Replacing that with a phone (even “educational” content) would have predictable and significant developmental consequences.

Here’s what would likely happen, broken down by domain.

1. Attachment & Emotional Development (most critical)
Human babies are biologically wired to form attachment through:

  • Eye contact
  • Facial expressions
  • Turn-taking (serve-and-return)
  • Voice tone
  • Touch and regulation by another nervous system
A phone cannot reciprocate emotional states.

Likely outcomes:

  • Insecure or disorganized attachment
  • Reduced ability to self-soothe
  • Poor emotional regulation
  • Heightened anxiety or emotional withdrawal
  • Difficulty reading social cues later in life

This isn’t just psychological—it shapes the stress-response system (HPA axis) and the child’s baseline sense of safety.

2. Language Development
Language is learned through contingent interaction, not passive exposure.
Even if the phone plays speech:

  • It doesn’t respond to the child’s attempts
  • It doesn’t adjust complexity
  • It doesn’t reinforce meaning socially

Likely outcomes:

  • Delayed expressive and receptive language
  • Smaller vocabulary
  • Poor pragmatic language (conversation skills)
  • Difficulty with narrative, inference, and emotional language

This is one of the most robust findings in developmental research.

3. Cognitive Development
Phones provide stimulation without effort, which disrupts how attention and learning develop.

Likely outcomes:

  • Reduced attention span
  • Poor executive functioning (impulse control, working memory)
  • Difficulty with cause-and-effect learning
  • Less curiosity-driven exploration
The brain learns best when the child acts on the world and gets feedback from humans.

4. Social Development
Children learn social rules by being in relationship, not by observing screens.

Likely outcomes:

  • Poor joint attention (a core social skill)
  • Difficulty with empathy and perspective-taking
  • Limited understanding of social norms
  • Later peer relationship difficulties

In extreme cases, patterns can resemble autism-like social withdrawal, though the cause is environmental rather than neurodevelopmental.

5. Sensory & Motor Development
Phones are visually dominant and physically passive.
Likely outcomes:

  • Delayed fine and gross motor skills
  • Poor body awareness
  • Reduced tolerance for boredom or low stimulation
  • Overreliance on high-intensity sensory input
6. Long-Term Psychological Impact By preschool and beyond, children raised this way often show:
  • Emotional dysregulation
  • Low frustration tolerance
  • Dependence on external stimulation
  • Difficulty forming deep relationships
  • Increased risk of anxiety, depressive symptoms, and behavioral issues

These individuals often struggle with:

  • Mentalization
  • Emotional literacy
  • Secure relating
  • Internal sense of worth

An Important Nuance
This isn’t about any screen exposure being harmful.
The damage occurs when:

  • Screens replace caregiver interaction
  • There is minimal attunement, repair, or shared attention
  • The child lacks a consistent, responsive adult presence

A phone used occasionally, with a caregiver (e.g., naming, pointing, laughing together) does not have the same effect.

Bottom line
A baby given a phone instead of caregiver interaction between 1–3 years would likely experience global developmental delays, particularly in:

  • Attachment
  • Emotional regulation
  • Language
  • Social functioning

Because early development is foundational, these effects can echo throughout the lifespan, often showing up later in therapy as difficulties with intimacy, self-regulation, and meaning-making.

Sorryfor the really long post. OP, I think you’re right to be worried. The more it is normalised that kids are given phones so that they don’t require social interaction, the less they will be given, and the greater the impacts on the development of a generation will be.

If anyone has evidence to the contrary, please do post it here as I would love to hear it.

Toddlertiredp · 01/01/2026 13:04

Raindropsontourists · 01/01/2026 05:12

You may or may not know this, but Pom bears stick in their teeth, crisps that stick in teeth are worse than a jelly baby for such situations.

I’m glad you got the point of what I was saying 🙄🙄🙄

Stressedoutmummyof3 · 01/01/2026 13:09

OonaStubbs · 01/01/2026 00:03

Putting a phone in front of a baby is tantamount to child abuse. No wonder so many kids are starting school unable to read, write, eat with cutlery, wipe their arse and even sit up unaided in some cases.

Don't be so ridiculous. It's not child abuse. And you're comments are incredibly upsetting for parents whose children have SEN despite DS watching virtually no TV (and certainly no other screens) until he was well over 2.
I'm so fed up of judgemental people.

HelenHywater · 01/01/2026 14:37

Judgy much

And all the "it makes me so sad" shit on this thread. God.

miamo12 · 01/01/2026 14:59

How do you know the age, at 18 months+ my dc were being mistaken for being babies (who could run fast!) as they were tiny for age and little hair. If you had seen either of mine in a high chair you would have thought they were 8 or nine months rather than 18+. No screens as nobody had invented them yet

RhaenysRocks · 01/01/2026 15:12

Again, there are million "what if" scenarios and "snapshot" anecdotes but let's not pretend there aren't crappy, lazy parents out there who do habitually do this. The fact that a casual observer can't detect the surrounding circumstances such as SEN or parent having just had terrible news or whatever is irrelevant to the GENERAL point being made that's it's not great. Is anyone on here seriously arguing that every single instance of this is a rare one off? That no parents habitually do it? The pp upthread who mentioned kids starting school unable to do basic self care or communicate or sit still and quiet in an assembly or class for a few minutes (SEN excepted obvs) was not wrong.

Unpaidviewer · 01/01/2026 15:49

Iwishicouldflyhigh · 01/01/2026 07:39

If you think that a BK has the same nutrition as a baby specific pouch/jar, I worry fir your children.

Maybe your worry is misplaced and you should look closer to home. Pouches and jars have been found to be lacking. I would rather give my child the occasional BK burger than one. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c62j0l0gg4go.amp

A toddler with blondey-brown hair sucking a pouch of baby food, which she is holding with both hands. She is wearing a burgundy top and dungarees.

Baby food pouches low in key nutrients, lab testing finds

Parents are being "misled" by marketing from leading baby food companies, experts tell BBC.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c62j0l0gg4go.amp

MandemChickenShop · 01/01/2026 15:56

Too many and that baby will grow up to be a Whopper

tominwood · 01/01/2026 16:06

ChiliFiend · 01/01/2026 10:48

Personally I think the whole thing is depressing - Burger King, phone etc. - HOWEVER, having read some of these responses, I'm remembering the time I was standing in a long line at security at an airport with my husband and kids. My husband was on his phone and I was dealing with the kids who were kicking off for one reason or another. I saw a woman behind me observe the scene and disapprove of my husband, who was totally disengaged at that moment - and I thought to myself that she didn't know that actually my husband does the lion's share of the childcare and was having a brief moment of respite, having packed all the kids' bags, given them breakfast, got them ready etc.

Your husband sounds like a total legend!! ;)

dynamiccactus · 01/01/2026 16:10

The baby might only be able to manage that sort of food. I wondered if my son would ever learn to chew and he ate a lot of chips when we were out (not burgers, yuck) - used to suck them until they disappeared!

The phone is really crap. I wonder what effect digital devices have on a baby/toddler's brain.

Hiptothisjive · 01/01/2026 16:13

How absolutely awful. Lazy and poor parenting. No excuses sorry.

Berlinlover · 01/01/2026 16:15

I work in a supermarket, I could write a book on the appalling parenting I see on a daily basis.

Stressedoutmummyof3 · 01/01/2026 16:17

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 01/01/2026 10:21

That's utterly grim. Food and phone.

I don't buy the Mumsnet "snapshot into their life" theory. The sort of people who give fast food and a phone to a baby are not spending every other day enraging meaningfully and preparing wholesome meals.

Except in this case the mum was engaging with her child and they were more interested in mum than the phone so your judgemental attitude doesn't make sense.

Rachie1973 · 01/01/2026 16:29

Hiptothisjive · 01/01/2026 16:13

How absolutely awful. Lazy and poor parenting. No excuses sorry.

What you misunderstand is that no one needs an excuse. They don’t owe anyone an excuse.

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