Is there anything more depressing about divorce at this time of year?

[blahblah99]

I’m mid 40s and my husband has let me down more than once (including some cheating just before Xmas and a hell of a lot of lying). We have young kids too. And share a house/mortgage. It’s deffo over. I can’t stand to look at him. He has begged me to stay but I always said cheating would be end for me. Christmas has been very tough.

there is just something about this time of year. Everyone seems reflective about the last year and hopeful about 2026 but my world has just imploded. I don’t know how will split finances and kids. And I feel too old to meet anyone else (at least I will be by time I am ready).

finding it hard. Any wise words?

I’m in a similar position. I forced DH to leave a month ago. It’s been so nice without him here. But he is unwelcome at his parents and has nowhere else to go, so will have to move back in until he finds somewhere. I despair. Been so nice without him here. I am still
optimistic for the year to come and intend to enjoy tonight with friends. But I’m under no illusions it will be easy, even if it is for the best in the long run.

ETA - I am the same age and fully intend to get back out there dating! Absolutely not too old!
Luckily for me, financially it should be more straightforward as everything is in my name already and thanks to his financial fuck ups for years and how much money I have given him, he acknowledges that he won’t come for the house

Seriously, things will be so much better once he’s gone op. You’re not old! People get together with new partners in their 50’s, 60’s, 70’s. Be kind to yourself and get those ducks in a row now. Sending hugs x

I couldn’t agree more. Found out my dh was cheating April. Tried to reconcile, only to discover June that he never stopped speaking to the OW. Relationship over but neither of us can afford to move out and he genuinely has nowhere else to go. We are working towards living separately in 2026 but I feel completely depressed about having to share custody of the kids and leave the lovely home that was meant to be our forever home. Tonight I will be having a bath, a microwave curry and an early night. You’re not alone in how you feel x

I don't really have any wise words but if it's over for you, it's over. No amount of guilt tripping from a shit husband who has let you down can change that.
The practicalities will get sorted in time, there is no rush to move out, you know it's over and everything else will follow.
This time of year is peak divorce initiation time, Christmas can be the last straw as I well know, so there will be plenty of women in the same boat.
You can meet someone else at any age, you don't have to live with them or marry them either.
The only advice I would give is to get your own bank accounts if you've not already, get your income paid into them, and take half of any joint savings and put them into your name only. Get your name taken off joint accounts if you have your own money, so he can't run up excessive overdrafts etc. If you can avoid it don't move out, whoever stays in the house is massively better off financially and stress wise.

I was in your position 4 years ago. I got through Christmas and New year and asked to separate just after. I’ll be honest, the first few months were tough, navigating being a single parent, managing finances. Within a year, we had found our feet and a new routine. 4 years on, I’ve found a new job and been promoted. Met a lovely new fella (but with no rush to live together. XH has remarried. DD and XH aren’t spending much time together but to be honest, it’s probably for the best at the moment.
Honestly, if I could go back to speak to myself this time 4 years ago, on the precipe of calling time on my marriage, terrified at the thought but the thought of staying with him being even scarier, I’d say to myself to go for it. The hardship has been worth it in the end.

Im 3 years out of separation with divorce completed in 2023. However hard it is, and I wont lie it can be..

Its a million times better every single day to not be married to that man!!!

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Some days if everyone is alive and fed thats enough. And then one day you'll release it hasn't felt shit for a few hours or a few days or even weeks.

The other side is so worth it!!

Thanks all. Trying to keep positive. It’s so hard, such a terrible time of year. None of my friends are single so it will be quite a shock to the system and I imagine I will feel very very lonely. I keep thinking of the things I don’t do alone… getting things out loft etc. urgh it’s just so annoying and if it wasn’t for the kids I’d say I wasted such a lot of time.

No wise words...but I filed for divorce just before Christmas. We've been separated for 18 months and he's still playing happy families with the ow and his replacement family (she's got a kid, too...)
She's welcome to his grumpy, arrogant, cheating arse.
It's taken me ages to sort the finances, try and keep a routine for the kids and get back on my feet at work (I just got off maternity leave). He's been obstructive and difficult throughout, so good luck and lots of strength and patience, just in case.
I'll go out and date again once DC2 is a little older. It's a bit trick with a toddler and to be honest, I've got enough on my plate at the moment without adding another bloke into the mix.
Good luck to you. It'll be shit for a while...and then it'll usually get better.