Any tips on how to stop feeling so bloody sorry for myself!

[EmberR]

Not sure if it’s NYE making it worse but feeling really down and hoping for some suggestions to cheer the F up.

it’s been a hard year, redundancy, miscarriage and a death in the family. All are just normal life things I suppose. But it all happened in 6 months and it hit me hard.

Trying to be grateful for all I have and stay upbeat but just feel sad about this year. Any advice please is much appreciated Thank you

Those are three awful blows in a row. I'd advise letting yourself be sad and feel it rather than trying to force cheer. You'll heal in time, it's ok to feel pain! Getting out in fresh air and going easy on booze will help you manage it. I hope 2026 is kinder x

Allow yourself to feel sad if that's what's currently inside. Don't fight it until you feel stronger. Wishing you well 💐

This is the time to acknowledge how hard the year has been, to take some pride that you are making it through , and to hope for a better time next year

I agree , you need to acknowledge to yourself that that’s a lot of sadness and stress

can you do something to commemorate your loss - I saw a lovely tree on line that you plant in memory of someone

keep off social media all you will see is smug gits rubbing their fab year of achievement in your face

I ended last year with a big snotty cry , not pretty but it summed up my year pretty well- this year it it much better and I am sure so will yours be ((( hug)))

I do a witchcraft spell as well just for fun

google it

candle flowers parchment dance naked etc

I think sometimes thinking about the year that has gone and the year ahead is too much. I find it helps to think in smaller chunks - today/tomorrow, what things can I do to be kind to myself, even if its watching something I love on TV.

I recommend the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin. One of the things it talks about is self pity and how to overcome it. The book is written by a woman who has suffered a lot at a young age and it is very practical.

Wishing you all the best.

I also do 'spells'.

It helps to symbolise, for me, 'that was then, this is now.' Dragging past sadnesses like a sea anchor will only slow down and impede you in the new year. You are allowed to be sad for what has gone, but when that sadness becomes all-encompassing it stops you from enjoying what there is to enjoy.

I allow myself an official 15/30 minute wallow and then move on with my day.

You've been through some tough times in a really short period. Don't smile through it in your situation, feel the pain and emote in a healthy way.

My plan going forward is to step back from the things that overwhelm me to find emotional and practical solutions in a really positive way. Like being my own therapist and life coach. I know what I need to do deep down but I struggle to see it sometimes when I'm swept up in stress.

I need mindfulness to work away the things that don't actually matter, find clarity to form goals, make small steps everyday to reach them. Little and often works for me.

I second a little ritual to see out the old year. You can write the sad things on paper and burn in your fireplace. Then turn thoughts to new tear and write down your hopes, plans and dreams and what good things might happen. Let yourself be sad and mourn the losses but then turn to joyous things that will be good in 2026.Light a candle.Play a song. Look at the stars.

It's ok to feel sad if that's how you feel. We often want to erase uncomfortable feelings instead of just sitting with them and allowing yourself to feel how you feel. Have a good cry, take a walk and sit in nature and give yourself time. Maybe write a letter saying goodbye to 2025 and welcoming 2026 and hopes for better times? Make a list of a few new things to introduce into your life and plan a few outings/trips/things to do for yourself.

Thank you for everyone’s kind comments and suggestions. I thought people would just say man up and get on with it. But I think it’s right to let myself feel sad if that’s how I feel. I will write it all down and burn it. Onto next year and hopefully a better one.

I agree with letting yourself feel sad. A lot of tough things happened to you this year. I often book a few things to look forward to at this time of year. Anything from arranging a coffee with a friend to a spa day, one year I arranged a skiing lesson for the family. It gives me something to look forward to. Hope you have a happier 2026.

If you don’t have a degenerative health condition, I try and be upbeat
worsening Parkinson’s is tough, 9 yrs in at 63.
its ok to mourn what you have lost tho

Well thats a lot of awful things in a short period of time, so don't be too hard on yourself. And they might be 'life' things, but some people never experience miscarriage or redundancy.

I guess the positive would be to focus on a new year bringing new tidings. 2025 sounds like it can get in the bin!

Wishing you a happier and more prosperous 2026!💖

OP, I'm sorry to hear of your sadness, you sure have been through some really tough times, but you've received lots of kind and understanding comments on here so you can be thankful for that. Spend time remembering and reflecting, let the tears flow, it's a good release. Tomorrow is another day, you will never forget the people and circumstances that make you sad, but as you get stronger you will be able to move on and look forward to happier times again with new experiences. All the best for 2026 x