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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to go out on NYE without husband

34 replies

Sallysushine · 31/12/2025 12:23

I have two children aged 7 and 9. No plans this evening other than a promised family games night which will probably end around 7pm (they need early nights as we were at friends until 10pm last night). Friends have invited me out to the pub later, AIBU to go around 8pm and leave hubby with the kids? For context he HATES NYE and everything about it. He wouldn't feel like he was missing out - he's usually asleep by 10 on the night!

OP posts:
FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 31/12/2025 12:24

Ask him.

Cherrytree86 · 31/12/2025 12:24

GO!
it’s a no brainer, OP @Sallysushine

Fundays12 · 31/12/2025 12:24

Personally I wouldn't but I am the partner that hates new year and goes to bed early. I wouldn't mind my husband going ou though without me.

TeeBee · 31/12/2025 12:25

Yeah I think you should ask him too. He may not like NYE but he may not wish to spend it on his own.

LavenderBlue19 · 31/12/2025 12:26

You are not connected at the hip. Don't you ever go out without him normally? Of course YANBU, especially if he's going to be asleep.

Canopop · 31/12/2025 12:29

Confused why you’re asking us ? Have you asked him and he said no ?

CharlotteLightandDark · 31/12/2025 12:30

I go out without my boyfriend all the time, including NYE. He’s more of an indoor guy and I’m not - it’s no biggy :)

SereneCoralExpert · 31/12/2025 12:31

of course ask him

Bloody rude to breathily TELL the other one: I am off to the pub, see ya
whether you are the mum or dad.

Going out alone, of course YANBU - that's the beauty of not being a single parent, you take turn! even if it's NY eve.

ArseSkinForAFriend · 31/12/2025 12:31

For context he HATES NYE and everything about it. He wouldn't feel like he was missing out - he's usually asleep by 10 on the night!

I don't get why you're asking Mumsnet then?

randomchap · 31/12/2025 12:32

Have a good time

Enjoy

It would be different if he'd made plans with you but he hasn't.

Just try not to wake the family when you stumble in at 4am

MojoMoon · 31/12/2025 12:35

Are you worried other people will judge you while you are out?

If your husband is fine with it, then go, of course. It sounds like it's not his thing but that doesn't mean it can't be your thing.

You are married, not literally chained to him. You can go out without him so long as you are just dictating to him, rather than discussing it.

Talk to him.

Original poster
Sallysushine · 31/12/2025 12:48

MojoMoon · 31/12/2025 12:35

Are you worried other people will judge you while you are out?

If your husband is fine with it, then go, of course. It sounds like it's not his thing but that doesn't mean it can't be your thing.

You are married, not literally chained to him. You can go out without him so long as you are just dictating to him, rather than discussing it.

Talk to him.

Edited

Thank you. Yes I think that's it, it's the judgement aspect.

OP posts:
MojoMoon · 31/12/2025 12:55

Whose judgement? Your husband? Your friends? Your mum? Random people in the pub?

If your husband is fine with you going, then clearly his judgement is that it is fine. If he is going to bed at 10pm, he doesn't really have any good reason for you not to go out for a bit assuming you aren't going to be so drunk as to be entirely incapable for the next whole next day.

Your friends have invited you so clearly they want you there.

Random people in the pub? Who cares.

Your mum? You are an adult and also she doesn't need to know anyway.

ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy · 31/12/2025 13:07

I would ask if he minded - he may be looking forward to sitting drinking champagne with you as the clock strikes 12 … chances are that’s not the case, but I think it’s polite to ask when it’s a special occasion evening, and also when it’s last minute.

ArseSkinForAFriend · 31/12/2025 13:24

Sallysushine · 31/12/2025 12:48

Thank you. Yes I think that's it, it's the judgement aspect.

Show quote history

Oh well, you might as well stay in then and never go anywhere ever.

BadgernTheGarden · 31/12/2025 13:28

Sallysushine · 31/12/2025 12:48

Thank you. Yes I think that's it, it's the judgement aspect.

Show quote history

Will the friends get you home safe? Will DH be worried and stay up waiting for you?

Eyeshadow · 31/12/2025 13:45

I don’t even know why this is a question - I nearly always go out with my friends on NYE.

If your DH is fine with it then go for it!!

LavenderBlue19 · 31/12/2025 13:51

I don't understand why you think anyone would judge you for going out without your husband? Again, don't you ever go out without him?

gamerchick · 31/12/2025 13:55

It's a no brainer for me. I'd just let him know and he's got the fort.

Or you'll be sitting twiddling your thumbs come 10pm and he's gone to bed, wishing you had gone out

Cherrytree86 · 31/12/2025 15:49

Just stay home , OP @Sallysushine

gamerchick · 31/12/2025 16:10

Cherrytree86 · 31/12/2025 15:49

Just stay home , OP @Sallysushine

Why. So she can see in the new year alone? Sounds like fun.

Fidgety31 · 31/12/2025 16:13

Judgement !! From who?! I doubt anyone would know you, judge you, or give a flying fook whether you are in the pub or
not!
Do you not have a life ? Or are you always at home ?!

PinkyFlamingo · 31/12/2025 16:15

Not sure I get why you are worried people would judge you??

SereneCoralExpert · 31/12/2025 16:27

Sallysushine · 31/12/2025 12:48

Thank you. Yes I think that's it, it's the judgement aspect.

Show quote history

unless you start giving a lapdance to every male in sight (which sounds very unlikely) not sure what judgement you are talking about?

Pherian · 31/12/2025 17:15

Sallysushine · 31/12/2025 12:23

I have two children aged 7 and 9. No plans this evening other than a promised family games night which will probably end around 7pm (they need early nights as we were at friends until 10pm last night). Friends have invited me out to the pub later, AIBU to go around 8pm and leave hubby with the kids? For context he HATES NYE and everything about it. He wouldn't feel like he was missing out - he's usually asleep by 10 on the night!

My husband would be fine with it. We go out together and apart - it’s perfectly normal and healthy.

However, how does your husband feel about it ? You could ask him if he would mind you having a night out.

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