To feel uncomfortable telling half-sibling about parents assets?

[singhast]

My dad is terminally ill, but will hopefully be with us for at least another year.

I have several half-siblings that my dad had from his first marriage. We are not super close and see each other a few times a year as we live in different countries. My dad is still with his second wife, my mum. Half-siblings dislike my dmum.

My half-brother is planning to visit my dad to help out with his treatment and help with odd jobs around the house. I received a few texts from half-brother asking in detail about my parents assets, whether there are mortgages, whether they still own X property. It’s not a mega fortune by any stretch but my parents comfortably retired in their early 50s.

It almost feels like half-brother is trying to speak to my dad about his will to make sure he gets a chunky inheritance. He even asked me if I knew whether the will had been updated or not.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable telling my half-siblings about my parents assets? My mum’s finances are not really their business, but then again everything they own is joint.

I would tell him you don't know. End of. Because, even if you do know or think you know the situation today that could change overnight.

People so often talk about 'the Will' but forget that a Will can be changed within hours.

Don't get drawn in would be my advice.

You have no idea of the circumstances

It may be that the PP's father was in agreement, and - if the kids by his first marriage had other inheritance from their mother or an earlier windfall of his - it may be a perfectly fair decision.

I would say that you dont know - which I think is perfectly reasonable- I have no idea about my parents mortgage arrangements.

I would have a separate conversation with your mum, saying that the question has been asked, and that whilst you are unsure as to the motivations is she sure she is properly provided for when the sad day arrives. She should also support her husband and make sure he isn't pressured into any last minute changes or revisions that would harm her.

Possible but let’s be honest - highly unlikely. Why would the poster feel awkward if that was the case?

Not for you to say but it is a concern in second + marriages. One thing your father must do is have a proper will written by an experienced will writer used to complex families so he can ensure his family (including your half siblings ) are treated fairly. What you mustn’t have is ambiguity

We have it set up that our dc (no joint dc) receive the maximum allowed without inheritance tax and the remainder to each other currently, this will be altered down the time as assets start to dwindle. The house is tenants in common anyway. We are in that sweet spot at the moment where there is a lot in sipps and isas but hopefully the dc won’t be inheriting any time soon so if you are reading kids … we will have spent most of it hopefully!!!

I actually think it is in the best interest of the OP to share the info.

What if her dad has left half his assets to the mum and the other half to be split equally amongst the children from his first marriage? This would have HUGE ramifications on the OP and her mum unless a clause in the Will stipulates that no money is to be paid out until the death of the mother.

When there are two families involved, it is quite normal to include children from a first marriage into the Will, especially when they dislike the new wife!! It is imperative to make it very clear when the money gets paid.

It can get VERY complicated so best to have these conversations out in the open so everyone knows where they stand.

This is a tough one, but your father is still alive so presumably he can sort all of that out.

Am I missing something here? It’s his father. He has as much right to know about his affairs as you have. And if he doesn’t have any right, then presumably neither do you.

He can ask his dad.
He can pay the land registry to access public info on properties

Are there and LPOA or is there a will that you are aware of?

He needs to speak to his father, maybe he needs to know if there is anything he needs to do, it could be completely innocent, he may presume he is executor or will play a bigger role in your fathers passing. He needs to speak to dad, and his step mum together.

This

Isn’t the important factor for tax the total value of the estate rather than the amount a particular individual is set to inherit? I may be wrong but I thought so.

Any jointly owned assets will go to the surviving spouse.

If the house is held as Tenants in Common , or bank accounts/savings investments are in just Dad's name, then OP's Dad can will his share to whomever he likes.