Page 2 | Clare’s law given over phone now my ex is stalking me and arrested and on warrant again

SnappyRoseFawn · 2025-12-30T19:47:34+00:00

The police did a Clares law for me exa new partner, instead of doing it in person they did it over the phone were he was sat and were he heard everything the police went as far as to tell the new partner that it was my neighbours who rang 999 mostly not me. He ended up flipping at me over the phone and has now been arrested for following me and dragging me out of my car and for hitting the new woman. He got bail conditions then followed me again 2 days later my life is slowly being ruined yet again all because this officer decided to do it over the phone and knew he was with the new GF

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 30/12/2025 23:40

SnappyRoseFawn · 30/12/2025 23:38

He said on a VN to me that he got someone to do it

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Take it to the police explain the situation and file a formal complaint about how it was handled as you have been directly endangered as a result.

Original poster

SnappyRoseFawn · 30/12/2025 23:41

SafeguardingSocialWorker · 30/12/2025 23:26

It's pretty standard for these disclosures to be given face to face to prevent this situation from happening.

Who told you that he was there when she received a phone call to do the disclosure?

If it's him that has told you that is what happened I wouldn't believe him.

No it’s her him and now the police have admitted they did it
over the phone aswell I thought he had lied to scare me but no police
comforted they did it over phone now aswell

OP posts:

Original poster

SnappyRoseFawn · 30/12/2025 23:42

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 30/12/2025 23:40

Take it to the police explain the situation and file a formal complaint about how it was handled as you have been directly endangered as a result.

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I have and now the police and crime commissioner for our city is involved I’m petrified I had 5 years of peace last time someone did a Clare’s law on him he did the same thing they promised to always put safeguards in but clearly this isn’t what they did

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SafeguardingSocialWorker · 30/12/2025 23:43

ISeeYouHere · 30/12/2025 23:34

Can you explain a little bit more about what has happened op? Understandably you’re upset and this must be very stressful for you but what you’ve written isn’t clear and it will help us to advise you if you can clarify.

It's clear if you work in this area and understand how these disclosures work.

Essentially, OP's ExP has a new girlfriend and because he has a history of DV the police have made a decision to disclose that history to the new girlfriend. The disclosures happen if the police become aware of the new relationship (either because the new partner makes a 'Clare's Law' application, or because it's come to police attention another way such as via MARAC).

This disclosure has been given to the new girlfriend. ExP knows the disclosure has been given and is abusing the OP again as a result of it.

Original poster

SnappyRoseFawn · 30/12/2025 23:43

AGlessandahalf · 30/12/2025 21:52

Please confirm what has actually happened here at

The police have put me and my kids in danger by giving a Clare’s law disclosure over the phone to my exs new partner even after she told them he was in the house

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Original poster

SnappyRoseFawn · 30/12/2025 23:44

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 30/12/2025 21:55

Why did the police call you and the ex was with you?
or they called your ex’s new partner on your behalf?
how do you know he was with her at the time?

She confirmed to me he was in the house he said it and now police have admitted they messed up

OP posts:

Original poster

SnappyRoseFawn · 30/12/2025 23:45

SafeguardingSocialWorker · 30/12/2025 23:43

It's clear if you work in this area and understand how these disclosures work.

Essentially, OP's ExP has a new girlfriend and because he has a history of DV the police have made a decision to disclose that history to the new girlfriend. The disclosures happen if the police become aware of the new relationship (either because the new partner makes a 'Clare's Law' application, or because it's come to police attention another way such as via MARAC).

This disclosure has been given to the new girlfriend. ExP knows the disclosure has been given and is abusing the OP again as a result of it.

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The new GF told the police he was in the house and they continued to give it over the phone he heard everything I’m shocked and scared

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PissedOffPetSitter · 30/12/2025 23:46

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 30/12/2025 23:16

How in the hell are so many people’s basic comprehension skills on this thread so fucking poor? The op was understandable.

No it's not.

SafeguardingSocialWorker · 30/12/2025 23:49

ActiveTiger · 30/12/2025 23:39

Boggles me why you wanted to be around him ex or not anyhow.thays weird

Pretty sure the OP doesn't want to be around him. That's the point!!

She's being harassed by him because the police have disclosed to his new girlfriend that he abused his previous partner (the OP).

Rather than oooh I don't know attending one of the many courses available for perpetrators of domestic abuse to support them to change their ways, or just not attacking his partners and ex partners he's decided its all OPs fault his current girlfriend wants to dump him even though she had nothing to do with it and wasn't warned by the police the disclosure about his abuse of her was being made to the new GF.

Police have put everyone involved at risk.

MarxistMags · 30/12/2025 23:49

Absolutely shocking. 😞

Original poster

SnappyRoseFawn · 30/12/2025 23:58

SafeguardingSocialWorker · 30/12/2025 23:49

Pretty sure the OP doesn't want to be around him. That's the point!!

She's being harassed by him because the police have disclosed to his new girlfriend that he abused his previous partner (the OP).

Rather than oooh I don't know attending one of the many courses available for perpetrators of domestic abuse to support them to change their ways, or just not attacking his partners and ex partners he's decided its all OPs fault his current girlfriend wants to dump him even though she had nothing to do with it and wasn't warned by the police the disclosure about his abuse of her was being made to the new GF.

Police have put everyone involved at risk.

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Exactly that I don’t want to be around him haven’t for a long time sadly this whole situation has reignited him and his behavior

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Original poster

SnappyRoseFawn · 31/12/2025 00:01

FOJN · 30/12/2025 22:23

I think I've got it.

Exes new partner submitted a Clare's Law request.
Police called to new partner to give her the information.
Ex was with new partner at the time.
Ex overheard police tell new partner it was mostly the OP's neighbour who called the police to report him, presumably for DV.
Ex is now blaming OP, is stalking her and has assaulted her.
He was arrested and was stalking her again two days later.

OP it seems unusual that the police would divulge this information over the phone without checking the new partner was in a safe place. Do you have confirmation from anyone else that it happened this way apart from claims made by your ex?

The National Stalking Helpline may be able to advise you about how to take the right steps to make the police act to protect you.

https://www.suzylamplugh.org/pages/category/national-stalking-helpline

Yes the police confirmed that the officer did it over the phone to her and that she did disclose he was in the property and they still disclosed complaint is ongoing but honestly it’s a lot

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PoppyWarrior · 31/12/2025 00:15

I've asked for 2 Claire's Law disclosures over the last 5 years and both times it was done over the phone, which I preferred to be honest. Don't want the police turning up at my door.

However if the police knew the violent partner was there, they obviously should have made alternative arrangements to give her the update.

I do believe the police are between a rock and a hard place though. They would still have had to ring to arrange to meet with ex's new girlfriend. He would have heard that too.

They also couldn't haven't just turned up at her door. Would be interested to know what the recommendations are for the police informing people.

I've read on some threads here that people have to go to the station to sign something to say they won't share the information. It obviously must depend on each force.

Anyway OP I'm very sorry for what happened to you and the new girlfriend and hope you are both safe now.

LolNotFunny · 31/12/2025 00:26

CL disclosure is routinely given over the phone (may not be the case for all forces).

ISeeYouHere · 31/12/2025 00:28

SafeguardingSocialWorker · 30/12/2025 23:43

It's clear if you work in this area and understand how these disclosures work.

Essentially, OP's ExP has a new girlfriend and because he has a history of DV the police have made a decision to disclose that history to the new girlfriend. The disclosures happen if the police become aware of the new relationship (either because the new partner makes a 'Clare's Law' application, or because it's come to police attention another way such as via MARAC).

This disclosure has been given to the new girlfriend. ExP knows the disclosure has been given and is abusing the OP again as a result of it.

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With the greatest of respect, some of us here know only too well from a non social work perspective hence the request for details.

nellietheoliphant · 31/12/2025 00:41

LolNotFunny · 31/12/2025 00:26

CL disclosure is routinely given over the phone (may not be the case for all forces).

My force area requires everyone to attend in person if it's safe to do so. They even do work to ensure there is no way of the partner/ex partner tracing the person's whereabouts, via their phone etc, and removing this/meeting in a neutral place if not safe to remove the tracking software. They will disclose over the phone but they again, ensure it is safe to do so.

Original poster

SnappyRoseFawn · 02/01/2026 18:22

nellietheoliphant · 31/12/2025 00:41

My force area requires everyone to attend in person if it's safe to do so. They even do work to ensure there is no way of the partner/ex partner tracing the person's whereabouts, via their phone etc, and removing this/meeting in a neutral place if not safe to remove the tracking software. They will disclose over the phone but they again, ensure it is safe to do so.

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I wish greater Manchester police did it. Considering that Clare’s law was created due to negligence by GMP in Clare’s death and the law was named in her honour you would think the police force who was the catylyst would follow it properley

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BeaTwix · 02/01/2026 18:36

Sorry OP this is terrible. Especially if there have been negative consequences after a previous disclosure. Sounds like your ex needs a custodial sentence.

Firstly, take all measures to make you and your children safe.

Once you have done that, and If you have the headspace, complain to everyone you possibly can. If you don't have the headspace do you have a stroppy friend who could help you? (I'm always good for writing a complaint letter!)

MP. Crime Comissioner. IOPC.

Woman's Aid or one of the other domestic abuse charities may be able to provide helpful advice.

SugarCoatSandwich · 02/01/2026 18:52

I think to put it into context, whether he was with her or not, there's even chance she would have told him anyway: as you said, he went mental last time someone did Clares Law and so it's now a pattern.

I'm not excusing the way the police delivered the information but I think upu need to know what your next steps are because this could happen any time he gets a new partner and his usual abusive behaviour comes out.

So yes, by all.means complain about the police, but the bigger picture is how will you keep yourself safe long term? Can you move? Would you be prepared to do that? I honestly have no answers but your immediate and then long-term safety are more important.

Original poster

SnappyRoseFawn · 02/01/2026 21:40

BeaTwix · 02/01/2026 18:36

Sorry OP this is terrible. Especially if there have been negative consequences after a previous disclosure. Sounds like your ex needs a custodial sentence.

Firstly, take all measures to make you and your children safe.

Once you have done that, and If you have the headspace, complain to everyone you possibly can. If you don't have the headspace do you have a stroppy friend who could help you? (I'm always good for writing a complaint letter!)

MP. Crime Comissioner. IOPC.

Woman's Aid or one of the other domestic abuse charities may be able to provide helpful advice.

I’ve done a complaint to the police and crime commissioner in Manchester we aren’t allowed to go to the IOPC unless the police decide to allow it which rarely happens, I also did a complaint to their PSD and luckily I have an IdVA from women’s aid who is livid I’m also half temped to write to my MP but he is Andrew Gwynn and he been in the news for being anti women so it may be a waste of time but I am the atoppy friend lol I’m just tired of it and see it never ending

OP posts:

Original poster

SnappyRoseFawn · 02/01/2026 22:17

SugarCoatSandwich · 02/01/2026 18:52

I think to put it into context, whether he was with her or not, there's even chance she would have told him anyway: as you said, he went mental last time someone did Clares Law and so it's now a pattern.

I'm not excusing the way the police delivered the information but I think upu need to know what your next steps are because this could happen any time he gets a new partner and his usual abusive behaviour comes out.

So yes, by all.means complain about the police, but the bigger picture is how will you keep yourself safe long term? Can you move? Would you be prepared to do that? I honestly have no answers but your immediate and then long-term safety are more important.

I said I wanted to move the LA claim that it’s not urgent as he hasn’t done anything life threatening yet but they will reassess it if he dose. Happy to move

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