End of my tether with the kids

[3littlebirds86]

Feel awful but I’m not enjoying these holidays any more. 3 kids ages 3,5,7. At the start it was lovely but I’m just too overwhelmed now. The whinging, the constant arguing, the demands, the snacks (but won’t finish actual meals), the clearing up. husband is absolutely 50/50 in all areas so it’s not that.

Wow I feel like a TERRIBLE parent. I am not just shouting at any little thing. Once they have all gone to bed I just want to sit. I don’t want to engage with even my husband that much. He’s initiated sex a couple of times the last few nights but I am genuinely just too tired and touched out though I know I’ll enjoy it once actually in it.

anyone the same? I feel like I haven’t felt this bad even in summer holidays (albeit I do work so I don’t take the whole 6 weeks).

Sorry for negativity, I just needed to vent!!!

You sound at burn out. My kids are older now but believe me I've been there! Your husband sounds supportive, so could you ask him to take the kids on a day trip so you can get some peace and 'you' time? Maybe book a massage or something completely indulgent that will give you a chance to relax. It's not a magic solution, but a break will definitely help.

You’re in the though stage of parenting - it’s exhausting having little ones, especially over the Christmas holidays; so much is expected from you.

You probably feel your DH is then also expecting something from you. However, as you said you probably would enjoy it once actually in it, I would recommend keeping this part of your relationship alive. It just makes everything not about the kids AND more importantly once the tough parenting times are over, you are a strong loving couple which will last. A proper family unit for you both and for your children.

Mine are 14, 17 and I was in your place once and I’m so pleased my DH initiated sex throughout (and kept US as a couple alive!)

Sympathy OP. Mine are five and two. my five year old has been so shouty and aggressive; not all the time but a lot, which has really taken me aback, my two year old is normally lovely but is very whiny and prone to tantrums and a high pitched scream about nothing.

I took them on a walk yesterday doing a national trust trail which did help but they are still watching too much TV and like you food has become a bit of a problem.

You are not alone - mine are 4 and 7, I could have written your opening post pretty much line for line. I'm also working this week as couldn't take the time off, so am appreciating the break in some ways but also feel like an even more terrible parent as DH appears to be managing them both really well solo. (Whereas I feel like I'd turned into the embodiment of a screeching banshee by last Sunday).

It’s a tough holiday this one. All the excitement is front loaded and the weather is not conducive to playing outside. Plus there’s all the sweet Christmas food they’re still eating.

Christmas with little ones is exhausting as you're all overwhelmed. I have 3 DCs, though a bit older than yours now, and have found we really need to stick to our school day routine as much as possible. So I wake them around 7, ensure that they eat meals around the same time as usual and outside time is a must! It can be a bit boring always sticking to the same routine, but after many, many holidays where I thought I wouldn't survive to the end of it, that is what works.

If you and DH are both off then definitely specifically set out some time alone each, like he gets 8-12, eat lunch together, you get 2-6 then you both do bedtime - use your hours to go and sit in a coffee shop or swim or whatever for a bit. I imagine you’ve organised a great deal in the run up to xmas with 3 young kids, it’s normal to be a bit exhausted from it all!

What have you been up to with the kids OP? I find mine get me like this when we’re home too much. I always try to get them out and burn off some energy when possible and feel this helps. Go easy on yourself though, you’re in the thick of it with three young children.

I'm in exactly the same boat. Mine are 3,5 and 8 and I feel like the worst parent. I'm always shouting, breaking up fights and responding to tantrums (from them all). It's actually gotten worse in the last six months since my youngest started having strong opinions! I'm assuming like all phases it will pass and I sure hope it's soon!

The second week of the Christmas holidays is the worst holiday of all when you've got little ones! Mine are 7 and 11 and this one has been a lot better than previous years, but it's still tough at times. The excitement has gone, they're not into just chilling out and if they are then you feel guilty about not doing anything, but everyone's tired and grumpy. It's cold, everywhere indoors is busy, expensive or closed... Everyone else seems to love this week but I used to hate it!

No real advice but hang in there. It really does get better.

Ok I’m going to be that person that doesn’t sugar coat you knew the pressure of having kids especially three, what exactly did you expect? It gets annoying when people moan about kids being kids like they asked to be here and billions of women before you have/had the same experience. There is nothing wrong with having one child

And billions have had support from women in the same position, which is kind of what the original premise of MN was!

Not surprised you are tired, its a lot this time of year! As a PP mentions, can DH take them out for a bit? Are you getting equal lie ins?

Mine are 6 , 4 and 2 months, all the older two do is bickering at the moment. Same with the constant snack snack snack . I'm actually excited about Monday when they go back to school and that makes me feel so mean! 2 month old is a delight but she keeps me up at night 😭😂

Thanks everyone! Makes me feel a lot better knowing I’m not alone. And yes getting outside is key!

Well yes but we both always wanted 3 and I wasn’t going to change my decision on two weeks of the year when they’re overwhelmed and whingey 😆

Ohh this is the thread for me right now! Mine are 2, 5, and 8 and I am tired. You know that line in It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas where it says "and mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again..." 😂

You know what you're so right, gonna shove two of them back in. 🙄🙄

Not alone! I feel guilty but really struggling this week. I just want to stare at the wall for 3 hours in complete silence.

You aren’t alone! My advice having been through all of this is that you need to set good appropriate boundaries including not pandering to demands (they stop asking) arguing has consequences and as for snacks, no snacks if dinners aren’t being eaten. Contrary to popular belief, they don’t need snacks, wasn’t common until relatively recently, fine to give treats occasionally I’m talking about substantial snacks between meals, just didn’t happen (I’m not talking about special diets, I’m talking about the majority) also on that subject, one meal for all, makes life so much more bearable and bizarrely my dc ate “adult” foods (chilli, curry, etc) so much more readily than so called toddler friendly foods go figure

Just drop the snacks, completely. They don't need to eat between meals - and if they don't, they'll finish their meals. (If they don't, cover the meal and if they say they're hungry, give it back. Repeat until next meal). Saves SO much hassle, whining and money.