To take my kids out of school for three weeks

[scratchingheads]

We have an incredible opportunity for a once in a lifetime trip with family next year. It would mean taking my kids out of school for three weeks. They are 4 (reception) and 5 (year one).

It would be one week at end of term and two weeks at beginning of the next term.

Has anyone done this, what are the chances of the school going for it, and what else do I need to consider?

Can't you change the dates a bit and miss more time at the end of term and not miss the start of the next school year? End of term in uk primary schools is a lot more fluffy stuff (of the type a "once in a lifetime" holiday might cover) and missing two weeks at the start of the year will be more of a problem (socially too).

They will barely remember the holiday by the time they're teens, so don't kid yourself it's once in a lifetime for them in terms of "making memories" - more useful if it's to cement their existence in the minds of extended family on a visit to your heritage country where extended family still live, but not useful if it's a cruise or something!

Where is everyone getting the idea that they'll be missing the start of an academic year? I've read and re-read both the OP's posts and that isn't stated as the case anywhere

@scratchingheads I'd do it without hesitation tbh. Just talk to the school first, don't try and hide it.

I would go for it unless there are specific issue with your children struggling academically or socially that would mean missing those three weeks would have a serious detrimental impact on their education.

I think for the vast majority of children there would be no long-term damage from missing three weeks as a one-off. The benefits of the experiences they will have will likely outweigh any short term loss.

Depends on the reason for the once in a lifetime trip and other circumstances but they are unlikely to go for it unless the reason/circumstances are exceptional.

Back in October, my son was taken out of school for 8 days for a once in a lifetime trip and it was authorised by the head teacher.

Please read the previous thread that has been linked to and make sure you understand the (definite) exposure to the fine and the amount and the (possible) exposure to criminal charges before you do anything.

If you can get comfortable with that, my main concern would be if they were missing 2 weeks at the start of an academic year - I'd be worried about them going into a classroom where friendships and routines were already formed and struggling to find their "place" in the class - that's assuming we're talking about a trip over the summer holidays, although that's not been said.

Would some kind of compromise be available, whereby you cut the trip a bit short so they don't miss the two weeks of school? To expect a bit of flexibility one the last week of term (albeit with a fine) seems reasonable to me.

However, is it worth checking the school policy on whether they will de-register the children as a result of their absence? I may be wrong but from MN I’ve gleaned that many schools will not keep your child’s place after a 2 week absence, especially if they have a waiting list? If they do not return at the start of a school term it may trigger that process?

Obviously that would be why I’d talk to the school about accepting the financial/fine-related consequences of the absence - but I’d want to be clear what the other consequences are?

For context, my child was signed off school by GP for 6 weeks due to anxiety and MH issues awaiting a CAMHS assessment at 7. The HT said that my child had to be in school the following week or they’d deregister her… I ended up home schooling for nearly a year and then having to put her in a private school as there were no local school places.

think the 2 weeks at the start of a new term isn't a good idea at all.
When our DC were 7 and 9 we took them out of school for the last two weeks of Autumn term so that we could go to Australia to spend Christmas with my sister and meet my niece (their cousin). It's the only time we've taken them out of school.
They are now both in their 20s and they have almost no memories of the trip even though they got to do some amazing things. If you are going to do a "holiday of a lifetime" then wait until they are older
Abstain

I was "that" mum, wanting to give my kids loads of life expierences and adventures. They remember a lot of stuff from.about 9 up but all tbe other stuff is very vague memories.
When ive talked to them about the countries we went to when they were the same age as yours they have no recollection.

Im not saying dont ever have holidays or expierences of course they do help children develop but personally i think its at the wro g part of tbe school year.

Looking back they would have been happier riding their bikes and playing with the friends and the adventures were what I thought they ought to be doing.

Theres not going to be that many things that will be a once in a life time for them.
Even if it is seeing a relative in a foreign country who you may not see again will have some, but not loads of impact on young children.

I would be reading up on the new school attendance rules, you could be looking at court for three weeks of absence.

I would assume it would be counted as two periods of absence at least.

@notacooldad that's a good point. My kids are always annoyed that they went to all the cool places when they were too young to remember (7 and under). We went because we weren't tied to school holidays so it was cheaper of course. I can's see though how any holiday could be worth a possible criminal conviction. That in itself can make it difficult to visit many countries going forward not to mention the difficulty with mortgage applications and other credit related things.

Same here - trip to Florida at 4/7yrs for my two, Jamiaca the following year, lots of trips to Italy and Spain. No memory of any of it at all. Knowing what I know now, I would always save travel for 10yrs plus as they DO remember those. First holiday they remember was Mexico at 9/12. They can still tell you about the Mayan calendar and what the temples have 18 steps.

Wish we’d saved our money, frankly

However, if the holiday is about building bonds with family - the fact that many of the holidays were with my InLaws to whom my kids are now very very close - there is a benefit. But probably not enough to justify school absences given there are 13 weeks a year to bond with family outside term times.

It's three as it's one per started week so there will definitely be a court summons and not the regular fines.

How can you say this without knowing what the OP is planning - she could be planning 5 weeks in Florida or somewhere similar which can hardly be described as an incredible opportunity .

Do it just don't complain when you get a fine if your ok paying that then go for it 😊💕

No one is disputing that your five year old will have learned a lot in the few months that he’s been at school! What I dispute is children being taken for opportunities outside of school are not just as important, life-moulding and educational.

In the year my child’s topic at primary school was the Vikings, we spent 18 days, in term time, touring Northern Norway - we visited a Viking museum in Gravdal in the Lofoten Islands, we were in the arctic circle looking at and touching Sami artefacts and then reading about them. Who do you think learned more about about that topic? The child immersed in it, or the child reading about it in a class room? And no, my son isn’t home schooled, I work full time and I value school, but I also value real life experiences just as much.

Oh the irony of Mumsnet!
Whats the point of taking them on holiday for so long at this age as they won’t remember it.
Then in the next breath
And they will miss so much crucial lesson time in school they can’t ever catch up!

How will they remember what they have learnt in school if they can’t remember a once in a lifetime opportunity?

Bollocks the lot of it. Kids learn by repetition and long term exposure to each concept. At age 5 (or 6) they are not learning anything so crucial in school that will never be repeated in the next 10+ years of education. We are far too rigid with our education system nowadays. Too much focus on pointless statistics - like attendance - and no child focused approaches.

Oh for gods sake people… they’re not saying the entirety of their early years education is a waste of time.

What people have pointed out is that few weeks at 5 years of age is not going to irreparably harm their children’s education in the grand scheme of things.

There’s no need to be so dramatic.

I'm not disagreeing with you, you know your children and your finances best, but ...

You don't need to consciously remember something for it to have played a crucial role in your development. If they had fun on those holidays, had new experiences, met different people, tried new foods, experienced different cultures, had quality time with their parents etc that will all be in there, in the fabric of who they are. The fact they can't remember it doesn't take that away. Just like you can't consciously remember being breastfed or rocked to sleep or comforted when you were teething or carried round endlessly or played with as toddler, but all of that plays out throughout your whole life. Early experiences are crucial to who you become, it's not just about conscious memories.

Don't feel like you wasted your money, even if you would now do things differently.

(And that's not even taking into account that YOU remember it, and your memories are also important!).

I traveled a lot with my dc. Yes, by all means go, and it certainly won't have a negative effect on their education. The opposite, most likely.

The school will not be helpful. The fines are steep.

Be aware that this will not be the holiday of a lifetime for your dc ... they will have only vague memories of it later, if any, being so young. That's not an argument against going - I agree that you should, and you building memories with your dc, for you, is amazing. But in 5 years when you say, hey remember what a great time we had in X... your dc will be drawing a blank.

They will no doubt love it in the moment. So will you. And that's what counts.

How awfully snobby… 5 weeks in Florida for many, many families would be an incredible, and oftentimes, once in a lifetime opportunity.

Personally, I consider anytime a child can spend with their family, away from the daily grind, experiencing new things and making memories an incredible opportunity.

What opportunity would you consider ‘worthy enough’ to take children out of school for?

All any of us can do is answer based on what the OP has said. She said it's an 'incredible opportunity for a once on a lifetime trip'.

So we're answering based on that.

Sounds amazing. On the face of it I think go for it. Part of me thinks the 5 year old will miss quite a bit but the 4 year old won’t be doing much. But if they’re the kind of kids who will catch up
easily then I reckon go for it. YOLO

Whilst I agree that the rules are archaic and unnecessary, an absence of that long will likely automatically trigger court proceedings. Think very hard about whether your careers require CRB checks!

Perhaps - I know my DH and I have lovely memories - but the point I was making (and slightly diverted from) is that you shouldn’t take them out of school in expectation of ‘once in a lifetime memories’ as really it is just us, as parents, who get to have those. And my DCs were just has happy with trips to a seaside hotel or camping in the UK in terms of fun and bonding.

But yes, holidays (out of term time) are very valuable for bonding. As it stands we are planning to take the kids - at 18 and 21 - to Japan next year. We love travelling and hanging out together [even though my DDs SEN profile makes it a challenge some days…]. I think the temptation to take them at 4 and 5 is that is it sooooo much cheaper (flights and free hotel places etc) - and it really is about the parents wanting to do these things, not the kids. I think we kid ourselves that the DCs get something more out of it, that we are giving them an enhanced experience, but really it’s our own selfishness [not quite the right word] - whether that’s motivated by wanting to fulfil a fantasy of family life or just wanting to get an exotic trip in before it becomes to expensive to take them and you are forced to wait until they’ve left home to do it as a couple!

It would be unauthorised.

YANBU - 4 and 5 year olds having to be in school full time is ridiculous imo, when plenty of the rest of the world doesn’t start full time education until age 6 or 7 and their kids do as well (if not better). Taking your kids out for 3 weeks at such a young age is not going to do them any harm at all imo. My only hesitancy might be if the weeks they were missing were at the beginning of September when it can be important settling in/making friendships time in the new term. Otherwise no issue (apart from paying the stupid fine!).