To leave my Mum on NYE

[Onslow1985]

My husband & I are always have a hectic Christmas period celebrating with family, staying over at different family members houses from Christmas Eve onwards. We plan to spend New Years at a lodge just the two of us for some quality time together. My mum is single and brother abroad so she will be alone. I’m grappling with the guilt of leaving her alone on NYE even though she will say it’s fine and I know she will be fine but AIBU to my Mum by leaving her &/or also my SO by letting these feelings consume my mind during our time together?

Is she bothered about NYE? I wouldn't be or see it as different to any normal evening.

You have seen your mum over Christmas? You are massively overthinking this.

My DM has been single for decades and I can't remember the last time we spent NYE together. We have her for Xmas. Let go of the guilt, you are not responsible for her life.

It’s really not a problem. Go and enjoy yourself

Non issue?

Literally never spend NYE with my Mum.

Do you usually do a lot with your mother on New Years Eve? The reason I ask is that I have never done much (except work) on New Years Eve and it's just another evening to me. After all the hustle and bustle of Christmas it's nice to have a quiet time, to be frank. I speak as the mother of adult children.

It may be that your mother wouldn't be bothered at all by being on her own on New Years Eve.

Your mum probably thinks thank God, don’t have to celebrate New Year with anyone, bottle of wine and bed at 10pm.

A lot of people, myself included, aren’t particularly fussed about NYE. I’d be really sad to be alone on Xmas day, but not at all fussed about NYE.

This! Since when has NYE been a family event? You absolutely must go away, OP - & prioritise your husband. Your mother will be absolutely fine.

I haven't spent NYE with my mum since I was about 15. She will be alone, tucked up in bed by 10pm and utterly not bothered. Go away and have a nice time - sounds blissful!

On the face of it, I’d say go and spend some time with your husband. But is this her first NYE as a single person? And does she usually make a big deal of it?

Surely if she wants to see people on NYE she’ll make plans? It doesn’t just have to be you or your brother.

I don’t think I’ve spent NYE with any of my AC since they moved out, I certainly don’t think of it as a family day nor anything to particularly celebrate. And I’m in bed well before midnight, I’ll probably wake up next morning to a Happy New Year text from each of them.

You are being very patronising, assuming she will fall to pieces if you are not there to bestow your largesse and company on her for one night of the year, that she has seen many more than you have anyway.

Why do so many people think other people MUST be coddled like this (but only make a big fuss about it on Christmas and NY?)

I live alone with my dog, and am perfectly happy to 'celebrate ' NYE with just him and a glass of whisky. I have never enjoyed NYE, I see family over Christmas then am happy by myself.
Go and enjoy yourself!

I cannot remember the last time we saw anyone (family or not) on NYE.
To a lot of people it's not the massive event it is to others.
Enjoy your lodge.

OMG, go to the lodge! Your mum will be fine.

I am usually in my bed by 10pm on NYE so that wouldn’t bother me. I always made an effort to see parents on NYD though (usually for steak pie!)

What? Who cares about being alone on NYE?