To reduce her contact with my kids..

[AyUpLass]

I realise this is partly my fault as my relationship has been unstable. I’ve been on and off with my partner (father to both children) for a while, but we are back on track now. When we had been in a bad place, I stayed at my parents with the 2 children as he has no family around to go to.
I had noticed my mum starting to become drunk on an evening, at first I worried she had something wrong neurologically as I never see her drink! But it turned out she was drinking upstairs, in the kitchen while cooking etc. She would go from sober to slurring and stumbling in a very short space of time, to this day I don’t know what or how she’s doing drinking. She would be like this I’d say 3-4 nights a week, but still up at 6am perfectly bright and holding down her job and day to day life.
I’ve tried to talk to her, throw away drinks, advise her to go to the GP - we’ve got nowhere.
I’m now back living with my partner at our house with the kids but seen as we’ve spend so much time there DC particularly my eldest is very attached to my parents, more so my Dad - so we do still spend a lot of time there.

The other day we went out around 3pm and I noticed my mum was slurring already which I thought was odd. We all got back around 5.30 and started to help with dinner. My mum seemed absolutely hammered. I then heard her coughing while sat on the sofa - she then proceeded to forcefully and quite traumatically vomit all over herself, and the living room carpet. She was covered in it and it stank. My DC ran upstairs (8 and 4) my eldest was crying and my youngest was shaking and panicking, we obviously took them both home but it took the majority of the night to calm them down- it really scared especially my youngest. Mum claims she had stomach ache but she was clearly wasted.

what do I do? AIBU to limit their contact, or not allow my mum to be alone with them? DP says he’s ok if my dad is there but if he’s out for any period he no longer wants them there if one of us are not for any reason and it is getting to the point I don’t know if I can trust her.

sorry for the long post.

She's an alcoholic.
Of course she cannot be alone with your children and if course you should limit contact because you do not want them to witness this, or worse, again.

What @GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme wrote

Dot go back. She is clearly an alcoholic and your kids are way too young to see or know about that. Let ur dad come to see u or go see him when mum is at work but don’t leave the kids there at all. She’s not ready for help by the sounds of it.

Have you spoken to your dad about it? What does he say?
If someone was getting dangerously drunk as standard, I wouldn't want them in charge of my children.

What a horrendous experience for you and the DC.

If I were you, I would probably not let my mother see my children at all given this pattern of behaviour. There is the risk of their being exposed to very distressing scenes.

I might allow them to see her with me or DP present, but not otherwise, and would be very cautious and take them away immediately if she appeared to have been drinking at all. Also if there were any distressing scenes I would stop contact between them and her completely.

I most definitely would not allow them to see her without one of us present.

Have you talked to your father about it?