To not make my 3 year old wear underpants

[takethesebrokenwingsandlearntofly]

Long time poster- relatively new name.

Background- I have a ND DS7 who alongside PDA / Autism and ADHD has a lot of associated sensory issues. So I am used to being flexible and differing from the norm for what works for my child.

DS3 has recently started a nursery which he attends on days he doesn't go to his childminder. DS potty trained early this year with no real issues BUT does not like pants. I've tried all styles, sizes and materials. He just hates wearing them. I have no issue at all with this. He bathes daily and wears fresh trousers or shorts daily as he's pretty messy and into everything.

New nursery have told me he has to wear pants, that it's a safeguarding issue.

I'm not against the reasoning, but I also am one to pick my battles in general as I have so many daily.

Is it unreasonable to refuse to force this issue with DS3. I think eventually - likely soon he will just start wearing them as he will want to. I can't imagine he will love his life commando, but frankly - if he did, it wouldn't concern me if he's clean, comfortable and happy!

My ASD DS is similar, and we tried all sorts of underpants to find some that he can wear. We eventually found fitted boxers (made from normal underpants cotton material, but look almost like shorter bike pants). They don’t ride up under trousers, shorts or even track pants, and he often wears just these at home.

It is absolutely not a safeguarding requirement.

But not wearing school uniform is a reasonable adjustment.

Have you tried Tencel ?
Very soft comfortable material.

Hi @takethesebrokenwingsandlearntofly just wondering how this panned out in the end, did you resolve the pants issue? Having similar (but with all clothes!) to leave the house, nursery very understanding and dressing her each day but getting worried about school..is your DS starting in Sep too?

Yes starts in September. Very recently- maybe last week, he just started wearing them. I had kept them in his drawer and bought a few styles etc and just asked daily if he wanted pants on- one day he just said yes and has worn them 6 days in a row- only boxers, of which I only have 5 pairs so I’ll be shopping for more this weekend!

New nursery have told me he has to wear pants, that it's a safeguarding issue.

Why was it a safeguarding issue in these circumstances?
I don’t get it?