To Ask Guests To Bring NYE Food?

[ChicMintUser]

AIBU to ask guests to bring food to my NYE party?

I’m hosting NYE this year and I’m already dreading the sheer volume of foods I’ll need to buy. I’ve always been high-energy and very lean (I prioritize fitness and honestly, my body just doesn't require much fuel to thrive. I intermittent fast from 5 pm to noon the following day).

The problem is my guests. They are lovely people, but they seem to treat New Year’s Eve like a competitive eating trial. Last year was a bloodbath, I put out what I thought was a generous spread and it was inhaled within twenty minutes. I'm talking platters of cheese, fresh fruit, delicious charcuterie, imported European crisps, sandwiches, etc. By 11 pm people were looking at the empty platters like I was starving them, despite the fact they’d already consumed more calories in one sitting than I do in three days.

I want to be a good host, but my internal gauge for "normal" portions is clearly broken compared to the average person. I find the sight of mountains of beige food quite off-putting, to be honest. I don't want to spend my evening watching people descend into a food coma while I’m trying to actually celebrate.

How do those of you with "normal" appetites handle catering for the "bottomless pit" crowd?
Do I just buy out the local Costco and accept the waste? How many sausage rolls per person is considered "enough" for people who don't know when to stop?

Am I a total Scrooge for wanting to serve elegant, light nibbles rather than a buffet that looks like a Viking feast? I just can’t wrap my head around needing that much fuel to simply sit in a living room and wait for a clock to strike twelve.

Is it unreasonable to ask guests to bring the snacks they like instead of buying a pile of food I would never, ever eat?

Completely fine to ask them to bring a plate each.

But you do need to provide the majority yourself if you are hosting. Can you do the same as you did last time eg fruit, sandwiches, nibbles etc and double the quantity

Neither your approach nor theirs’ sound “normal”.

If a buffet is a problem for you why not let your guests know you’ll be doing nibbles not a full spread. Then they’ll hopefully eat before they arrive

Can you not suggest that you all order a takeaway and split the cost? Send them a menu and order in advance

I think it's only acceptable to ask your guests to bring a plate or bottle when you initially invite them, everyone knows where they stand from the get go and can accept or decline.

Do these people you amusingly refer to as "friends " understand the contempt you have for their waddling wobbly arses? I should think you could solve this quite easily by just providing a few elegant light breadsticks and cherry tomatoes, ensuring that noone will want to impose their greedy selves on you in future.

Seriously, lighten up a bit.

I suppose it depends how you worded your invite, was it come to us and you’ll host which means you do need to provide all the food and usually ask people to bring what they drink but have plenty of backups, or come to us for NYE and bring a bottle and a plate, but you’ll still end up catering in my experience as I hate to think of anyone hungry and am not good at under catering or the catering being out of my control! Ps you could just send them home with any food that’s leftover?!

Oh fgs, these are simple and basic fundamentals of being a good hostess. Always provide a good quantity of food and if hosting for a few hours keep a supply coming through the evening, especially replenishing glasses and nibbles ahead of midnight. You (although fabulously lean and healthy by the sounds of it) are not the norm nowadays and the fad of continuous grazing is well established and expected by most. It would be rude to ask guests to bring their own, imo. Either do it well or don't do it at all.

Guess it depends what time they are round and whether they are eating beforehand or effectively hoping you’ll feed them for the night. Maybe say you’ll just be doing nibbles so they should eat first. Or do a big pot of chilli and rice with some garlic bread and salad or similar so people can have something more substantial to eat.

We’re having a party and I’ve said what I’m providing and asked people to bring some food and any particulars drink they want to have.

That's a fab idea!

It's fine to ask people to bring things to a party.

It's not fine to have a party and invite people that you so clearly don't like. Uninvite these fatties from the party. Enjoy your lean new year with your elegant imported crisps and let them spend time with people who enjoy their company. You'll all be much happier.

This is what pizza was invented for

Edited as posted twice

I think for a celebration and special occasion you need to reframe food as an enjoyable pastime and not “fuel”. It’s not about “need” for an event like this, the food is supposed to be there to be enjoyed and as an indulgence. Get all the nice things you’ve mentioned but probably double it, and then put out plenty of nuts, crisps, dips, chocolates. Keep drinks flowing. Get some pizzas or large cheeseboards wit plenty of brea and crackers. If you begrudge this then don’t offer to host!

I think op must invite them for New Year resolutions inspiration.

I am surprised you’ve offered to host again tbh.

No, you are right. I think I'm just so focused on health because I dropped all the weight a few years ago and honestly can't stand big piles of beige food or gorging.

You sound like someone who just shouldn’t be hosting, tbh. You hate it, so why do you do it? You know most people see indulgent eating as part of a communal celebration. You know most people will want to eat more than a few “elegant nibbles”. If catering adequately for your guests turns your stomach and fills you with visceral dysphoria, then don’t invite them. You can stay at home with a few chunks of organic watermelon and feel fabulous.

Your superiority complex honestly reminds me a lot of how I was in the throes of an eating disorder.

I'm the only one with a suitable space, really. We live out in the country and have plenty of space unlike most of my friends who are city people and live in tiny little flats or bedsits.

This seems like good advice!

Or the previous pp who mention a big pot of chilli and rice, and then the smaller nibbles you’ve described along side.

I think people are looking at it as their evening meal, plus some extras, rather than a few light nibbles which is what you’re looking more towards.

This is all fine but you don’t have to eat the amounts the others do.

I think framing it as “gorging” is an issue too.

I do quite like the idea of chili or roast with all the sides that people could help themselves too. Then it's just one meal along with nibbles.

You’re still framing it negatively though, with all the talk of ‘gorging’.