What do you do to keep yourself busy?

[BoyMum2025]

I'm a busy, perimenopausal mum of 20 and 18yo sons. I'm a knackered teacher.

I'm finding I can't focus on anything (reading, TV etc) and spend a lot of time in my own head over-thinking, over-worrying about the kids. Are they happy? Are they in a dodgy relationship? Catastrophising basically and worrying that I'll lose them (to the GF or something awful will happen).

Rationally I know that they're independent and that's how it should be.

I'm on HRT and these feelings/thoughts get worse the 2x weeks I'm taking the progesterone.

I've previously had counselling for GAD and I've referred myself again.

I am too tired to do anything after work. I have no hobbies and my closest friends live away.

I know I'm living too much in my head. I know I'm not being rational. I know I'll push the kids away. I know I need to find other things to occupy my mind and time- but what?

Have you felt like this? What helped?

If you find something that helps can you lete know? I'm waaayy earlier in the mother journey than you and already catastrophise about all the same things you do! Wish I could just be happy with my day to day life without overthinking literally everything.

It's exhausting, isn't it? Steals the joy out of life.

Exercise - sorry!

On MN, many DH are being blamed for "abandoning" the family because they keep with exercise. Instead of blaming them, we really should encourage mothers to do the same

Do a proper mindfulness based cognitive therapy course - it's brilliant for learning how to manage your mind. You don't have to be able to switch off to meditate, it's not about making your mind go empty but about learning how to respond to l those racing thoughts in ways that help you feel more grounded.

Also have you considered a mirena coil instead of progesterone tablets? Mirena is generally more tolerable form of progesterone and is released more steadily so you're not dealing with the horrible on/off thing with the tablets. They can be awful for mood.

In terms of switching your brain off, and keeping of social media when tired- I find doing something like crochet helps. The repetition is very calming.

I also listen to audio books before I go to sleep. Terry Pratchett or similar are my go to, but it's whatever suits. I find TP the perfect balance of being interesting but not requiring too much concentration, as well as not having enough escapism.

I'm also a perimenopausal teacher with dc exactly the same ages as yours. I'm not on HRT, but I did start having peri anxiety (having experienced bad postnatal anxiety years before). Exercise really helps, but taking Women's 50+ vitamins and minerals and an Ashwagandha supplement helped massively. My anxiety pretty much vanished within two weeks of starting to take them.

I first heard this guy on a podcast and really liked his approach to coping with stress etc. His book helped me realise that my thoughts were just going over the same silly worries that I couldn’t do anything about. 100% recommend.

How to Master Your Monkey Mind: Overcome anxiety, increase confidence and regain control of your life - Don MacPherson