To unbooked this holiday?

[Chefpig]

My mum has always had her selfish, controlling ways. She regularly has shown she doesn't like me much.

She has mellowed slightly as she has aged, but has recently shown her true colours yet again. We can all be having a great time and then someone may slight her (her perception) and she'll have a go at that person and the mood sours.

For Christmas I booked her and her husband an expensive break away. My mother has recently let me down in a number of ways and I want to cancel the break and get my money back but is this morally wrong? I was also due to go with them but I cannot stand the thought of a week away with them. When we do go away, my mother makes things all about her and will often refuse to go to certain places, so everything has to be on her terms.

WIBU to cancel, maybe even go on my own? The location is amazing!

Comment removed because the conversation has moved on, apologies.

I don't think you can withdraw a gift completely. I do think if you can change it without losing money then you should. Take yourself off the booking and slim the trip down or reduce costs in some other way, so that they have the gift you bought them without you exposing yourself to the ordeal of going with them and paying for the privilege.

I would absolutely say that there has been a problem with the booking!! Enjoy your special place on your own.

So you shouldn’t have gifted the holiday in the first place….very twattish thing to do to cancel it 🙄

You gave the gift, don't take it back.

Learn from your mistakes and have nothing more to do with her after the holiday. Accept that she has issues and cannot be the mother you'd like or need.

This.

Nothing significant has changed since you bought the gift. This is your lesson to learn - you can’t buy love. By all means don’t go yourself but you would BU to cancel now. A gift is something freely given - you can’t put invisible caveats on it.

You tried, yet again, to connect with her. In my opinion you have choices: Cancel the trip (tell her you did try to have a conversation about it); Cancel your own part of the trip; Cancel the trip for her and take someone else; Carry on with the trip and keep apart from them as much as possible.

Whatever you choose to do it is a difficult situation and you are unlikely to be content with any of these scenarios.

Was she grateful/thanked you when you told her about the holiday?

She didn't thank me and neither did her husband. I know it's somewhere they'd like to go though. I thought I could buy her attention and love. I always think that I won't spend a lot on them again because they never appreciate it or deserve it but then I think the above and do nice things for them anyway. More fool me.