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AIBU?

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Sick of husband doing bare minimum

13 replies

underthehawthorntree · 29/12/2025 16:49

I was working in the office today. Husband looking after our three small children at home. I said to him before I left this morning "please do some jobs in the house, every room needs tidying and cleaning". I'm fully aware that it's hard to achieve things with the kids in the house but I at least expected him to have pushed the hoover around or done some tidying or wiped the kitchen sides. I've come home and it's in exactly the same state as I left it this morning. I'm just sick of it. When I am at home with the kids I do jobs in the house in between looking after them or will stick them in front of the telly so that I can get things done. I work 3 days a week and he works full time which is normally how I justify the fact there is an imbalance. But I'm working today and he's not...so what's bus excuse today?! I know if I raise it he will get defensive and say he was looking after the kids so had no time.

OP posts:
itsthetea · 29/12/2025 16:51

“Ok I’m home now / I’ll take over looking after the kids whilst you get the cleaning done”

WallaceinAnderland · 29/12/2025 16:53

The day's not over yet, he has plenty of time.

Bigtreeesss · 29/12/2025 16:54

Make him an ex husband problem solved 🤷‍♀️

underthehawthorntree · 29/12/2025 16:54

@itstheteathis is genius I'm doing this now

OP posts:
CoffeeBeansGalore · 29/12/2025 16:58

What does he do when he gets home from work on your days at home? Pitch in with kids, tidying, helping with dinner? Or spend 45 mins on the toilet, slump on the sofa & ask whats for dinner? Do what he does. Time for role reversal.

underthehawthorntree · 29/12/2025 17:01

I just said to him "I'm finished now so you can do the tidying" and he said "I'm not feeling well i need to lie down for 15 minutes" 🙄

OP posts:
2026NewTricks · 29/12/2025 17:06

underthehawthorntree · 29/12/2025 17:01

I just said to him "I'm finished now so you can do the tidying" and he said "I'm not feeling well i need to lie down for 15 minutes" 🙄

He’s hiding 😆

I’m torn because I think expecting him to clean every room whilst looking after 3 small children is slightly unrealistic but he could have done something…. Plus sounds like he’s usually a lazy arse so that doesn’t help.

Make 2026 the year of change OP. For me it’s getting the DC to do more because I feel like they are ready for some independence now. Maybe it’s time to start training your DH. I’d start small and build up!

itsthetea · 29/12/2025 17:07

Oh what’s the loudest you can be? With 3 kids to help

give him 15 and then let loose

Cherrysoup · 29/12/2025 17:10

Feeling unwell?! Tough, what does he think you do when you aren't feeling top notch? Which I guarantee has been LOADS of times!

Ineedpeaceandquiet · 29/12/2025 17:15

Men CANNOT multi-task, their little brains can't cope bless them.

Cleaning plus childcare was unlikely to happen. 😜

StopBothering · 29/12/2025 17:16

underthehawthorntree · 29/12/2025 17:01

I just said to him "I'm finished now so you can do the tidying" and he said "I'm not feeling well i need to lie down for 15 minutes" 🙄

He would drive me beserk.

I bet he was absolutely fine until you said you'd take over looking after the kids whilst he cleans 🙄

Is it misogyny? Does he feel like the cleaning is "wimmins work?"

BaffledAndBemusedToo · 29/12/2025 17:18

Weaponised incompetence

strugglingwithlife · 29/12/2025 17:22

I know how you feel. I have one like this. Spends all the time he's home sleeping or on his phone

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