Stockings

[SnowFrogJelly]

DP and I had first Christmas together this year without our DCs.. we agreed to do each other stockings. I filled his with chocs sweets book socks useful things joke presents all the usual stuff, he ‘filled’ mine with 2 pairs of earrings both of which I asked for. AIBU to think this is a bit shit

You bought him chocolate and socks and he bought you two pairs of earrings?

Yes he got the raw end of the deal!

Sounds like different expectations. Communicate better

I think stockings are about having thoughtful surprises, so yes, I'd be disappointed.

I suppose he didn't want to do stockings but lacked the integrity to say, and decided to do a deliberately bad job so you didn't ask him again.

Arsehole move imo.

Yes but this was just the stocking.. I also got him lots of bigger presents round the tree

Stockings should be filled with nice little surprises imo

Is he accustomed to stockings though? Some people have never received or done a stocking in their lives.

Maybe I should’ve explained it better 😂

I’d be disappointed too, but like pps say, people have quite different expectations around gift giving. Plus many men haven’t filled a stocking in their life so have no experience, not excusing but they have not been taught to be thoughtful the way most women have.

did you tell him that?

Some of us just put bits that are small enough to fit in the stockings , others put cheap stuff because they think stockings are for cheap stuff.

Just communicate, he's not a mind reader. Someone else would prefer the earrings to chocolate/

how are chocs sweets book socks useful things joke presents
more thoughtful than earrings your partner likes?

Neither are wrong, people need to speak

Just don't do stockings next year - problem solved.

Agree that it’s a mismatch of gift-giving and communication. Does he come from a “stockings” family, where stockings are full of sweets and chocolates to unwrap? If not then he’s probably thought “ small things my partner wanted” are perfect for a stocking. I get that you’re disappointed if you were hoping for lots of silly things to unwrap, but it doesn’t need to become a big sore point.

Yeah I don't see the point of tat gifts for the sake of it. We dont do stocking so if you have specific ideas then you need to communicate them.

They are more thoughtful because I told him which earrings to buy!

Looks like I’ve been told

I am not sure what you expect him to do.

He bought what you asked, which sounds like the sensible thing to do? How many threads have we got of people who said what they wanted, and got something else that they didn't want.

The other solution would be to have told him "surprise me", but I'd rather have something I actually like than some random stuff.

I think the only thing to do is have a conversation about stockings. They're not a universal thing like Christmas day. For a long time I thought they were just something you filled with satsumas and shit. People would say in passing .I'll have to do the stockings and id secretly think 'what kid wants a load of fruit in the morning'!

Is it a reading issue or a memory issue you struggle with?

OP I agree it's not a great stocking. I'd speak to him about what you expect. I did this with my husband because stockings are one of my favourite parts of Christmas, but he didn't do them growing up so he didn't really know what sort of thing I'd like. I gave him a list of suggestions he could pick and choose from (not specific things, more like: a satsuma, some form of nice chocolate, an item of jewellery, a Christmas decoration, a miniature of my perfume, nice socks, a book, nice coffee, etc. etc.) and now he does great stockings.

Ok thanks everyone.. a list sounds like a good idea