To think this Will is going to end up destroying the family?

[willadvicemess]

So my family is a little complex and there's been a lot of rifts over the years - I've mostly stayed out of them as most of them started when I was kid and tbh I think at this point most people don't actually know why they originally fell out.

My grandad (who isn't actually biologically my grandad) died 2 years ago - I always assumed that there was very little to be divided and that would all be going to be grandma anyway - still alive although not in the best health.

What actually happened was that his will directed his half of the family assets to be split between 7 of his grandchildren (me, my little sister, my aunt's child, my uncles youngest bio child, and then 3 grandchildren from my grandads biological children) this leaves 2 of my uncles biological children out - They're both my age making them the oldest, and my uncles step son, uncle has been in this kids life since he was 1 month old - so over 25 years at this point.

It's become a total mess - I personally don't care about any inheritance, I think it may as well go to Grandma, we don't really have a relationship but Im also not bothered - grandad had significant mental health issues so I do question if he fully understood what he was doing with the will.

My sister thinks that it's the least they could do as we never had a relationship growing up with them so she may as well get the money (sister is significantly younger than me and has just turned 18)

My grandads 2 bio sons are upset that non biological family are set to inherit

My grandma is upset and plans on contesting the will

My uncle is upset that his 2 oldest children have not been included and also his step son - although does accept the step son not being included to a degree

To complicate matters my little sister saw one of our cousins not included in the will on a night out and advised they aren't in the will but everyone else is so now they're upset.

There's no real coming back from this is there? How the hell do families navigate this? Right now nobody's talking to anyone else but they seem to see me as the safe point to talk about everyone else - honestly from my calculations it only comes out to a few thousands each so it doesn't seem worth all of this 😭

Totally stay out of it. If a bequest is made to you - you chose what you do with it - but don’t discuss it or get involved.

What does your grandma want the outcome of contesting the will to be?
Do you know what's in her own will?

Unfortunately I somewhat have to be involved with regards to my little sister - she's NC with our parents, and being 14 years older I'm the closest thing she has to parental guidance. I completely see her side of things, she had a very different relationship with them due to our parents whereas I got contact with them again when I was 16 and rebuilt a relationship with them.

I'm also hold POA for my grandma ready for when she is completely incapacitated.

With my grandads biological kids it's easier as I don't see or speak to one of them. And the other I do have a relationship with but we generally have an agreement not to speak about it unless there's been an update from the lawyers.

She wants his half to go to her completely - there's no savings or anything it's just the house they lived in (small and in not the best area) and a studio flat they rented out also not worth much.

Grandma's will is also complicated 😂 it's split between her 2 of her kids and my grandads 2 kids with 1/5 to be split evenly between my sister and I as my dad has been cut out of her will.

However at this moment in time only me, the solicitor and the executor for her will no the contents so that's not to much of an issue. So also would not change it to cut out my grandads kids, we've had a very lengthy conversation about that

It’s your grandad’s wishes, so dish it out as he asked.

But you don’t have to be involved. Your grandmother has capacity. If she contests, that’s up to her. There’s literally nothing you can do about how your grandfather left his money. If you receive a bequest, then you can decide what you’re doing with it.

He can’t leave his half of the house to family members booting his wife out of her home. Wife has a very strong claim she should contest the will and get at least the right to live in the house for rest of her life. Surprised a solicitor would draft a will leaving first to dies half of the main residence to other parties on the first death. It’s tax inefficient and leaves the spouse not reasonably provided for so likely to make a claim.

I'm not the excuter however my understanding is that it can't be anyway once the process of contesting the will has started?

Your grandfather disinherited his elderly wife from half of her own home?

Yes - I suspect he intended to put a clause in to give her lifetime interest but this didn't happen.

I don't blame my grandma for contesting it as I said earlier I'd rather my share went to her anyway. But nobody else really sees it that way as everyone else it's to focus on who else was or wasn't included

It's been 2 years since he died - that's a long time for all this conflict and tension. I'm not surprised you want it to be over. I think by being calm and neutral, you are playing an important role, even if you feel you're not doing anything to help. You're not fanning the flames as I would think some others are doing

Maybe your GF just wanted to be sure that his DC and DGC got their share. Your GM could change her mind about her own will. Is the studio flat worth roughly half of the estate?

You and your siblings & cousins could choose to vary the will to share with the 3 who were excluded, if you all agree.

Is the house included in the will. Were they not joint tenants?

They were Tennants in common. Up until a couple of months before his death he also owned a bigger share. And then it changed to 50/50 but they stayed Tennants in common instead of changing it (not sure why, that's never really been discussed)

My MIL left her half of their house & assets to DH & SIL. She'd told me prior, because she was terrified FIL would remarry & her assets diverted 'to another woman's kids'.

She died & DH, the executor, decided it should all go to FIL. SIL (very surprisingly) agreed. FIL, late 70's, with multiple serious health issues, still managed to shock us & remarry within the year. Sold the house & handed most to new DW. New will ensures DW inherits most of it. So, I'm also now contemplating leaving my half to DC & ensuring a solicitor administers the will as it is.

It will be very costly for the grandma to contest it, and no guarantee she'll win

Is there a reason why the three gc were excluded?

Honestly I'm not sure - I think uncles step son was excluded on the idea that he would inherit from both his mum's side and his dad's (he does still have a relationship with his dad's parents just not his dad)

And the 2 bio kids from my uncle that have excluded my grandad didn't have a huge relationship with - they both have different mums and my uncle wasn't super present in their lives.... However if we're going off contact and how much of a relationship he had with People then really it should only be me, my aunt's child and 1 of his bio kids that inherit - my sister hadn't spoken to him since she was about 3, my uncles son never met him and my grandads other bio son went NC 12 years ago before his kids were born. So I have no idea why he's picked them as not being included or what the line is.

Leave it to the executor to sort out. Your Grandma gained a larger share when he redid his will so maybe he thought he had provided for her. Your Grandma can contest but it is very expensive and I'm not sure she'd win. If your Grandad had sound mind and tenants in common she might need to sell house and use her half to get somewhere smaller to live.

My parents' will was a T in C will. It seems the most sensible way to split the finances imo

Your family sounds a little odd...

So is the Will requiring that the house and rental be sold? As you don't want the house to be put into lots of names! And your poor gran still living there!

Could she move into the rental and then sell the main house so the will can be met?

It's all very well contesting the Will but as it had recently been changed to 50/50 then it looks like your grandad did know what he was doing.

Its perfectly possible to protect the first to dies half for their beneficiaries but allow the survivor to live in the house for their lifetime. Then on second death your shares go to your own chosen beneficiaries. You also retain the spousal exemption from iht doing it this way. That’s how most solicitors would draft it. Leaving half a house to third parties while spouse is still living there is mad.

A little odd is an understatement 😂

Yes will would require both properties be sold - grandma couldn't live in the flat for very long tbh so that wouldn't really be an option and half of the value wouldn't be enough for her to get somewhere suitable close to her support network.

His will was updated when they changed the ownership shares - his will has been written this way for around 5 years now from what I can see.

Wow, that's a plot twist! Where did he plan to live after selling the house? What money did he plan to live on?

But your sister is 18, and is just going to accept her share, right? I don't think there's a lot for you to get involved with there.

I'm also hold POA for my grandma ready for when she is completely incapacitated

This would be more of a concern for me. Is the same grandma who is contesting the will, and is now living in a house technically owned by a bunch of other family members? Who or what is going to finance her care?