'BTW I'm autistic' / 'For context, I have ADHD'

[easytoremember]

Sorry. But I'm seeing these precursors on a lot of posts. Why? It's slightly grating. We're all complicated people living the crazy human experience, diagnosis or not.

That would be my DD . I’m sure a lot of her teachers wonder wtf am I on about. They just see the beautifully behaved, quiet , academic child. That’s the ones that do see her, she’s had teachers that didn’t even know her name. The ones that really see her though, see what I see , have filled in forms mentioning concerns and things they noticed , have offered support and understanding.

You know what they don’t see? That she didn’t eat for a week on a school trip and lost two kgs , not only because the food was different, but she was told that if they put food on their plate they have to eat it so she was too afraid to even try anything. All she ate was bread and pineapple. They don’t see the meltdowns and the tears. They don’t see her practicing conversations at home (especially if it will involve an adult ) of how to say and what to say. They don’t see her sleeping in my bed (as a teenager) because she’s so distressed and anxious. They don’t see the extra support she needs with certain subjects and how much work we both put into it. They don’t see the lack of confidence and self hatred at times. They don’t see the fear and the inability to ask for help (academically, emotionally, mentally, or physically). They don’t see the sheer exhaustion.They don’t see a hundred other things because she’s masking , she doesn’t make a fuss (because she hates any fuss or attention) , she’s the good ,easy kid that has to “manage her own learning even if the class is chaotic” (direct quote from a teacher) , and because she mostly does, she gets lost in the said chaos.

I don’t like the word disability for my ASD because it implies the negatives outweigh the positives. Yes, it profoundly impacts my life. No, I would not give up my fantastic brain to be NT. That existence looks miserable. I am happy and successful. I adapt.

I have an actual disability that I can’t work around. The only way I can manage in the world is if the world makes real room for me and the world has no plans to do so. There is a huge difference in a state of being that needs coping mechanisms and one that needs real help.

Ah but OP would say that we're all complex human beings with complex bodies and we all face physical obstacles sometimes. So, in her eyes, irrelevant.

Sadly the political discourse around neurodivergence has meant that a lot of people belittle the medical truth of others.

Because I don’t know if I am managing to express my meaning in the “correct” way and now need to apologise in advance.

Autism and ADHD are formal medical diagnoses with clear criteria.

Variation doesn’t make something fake. Many medical conditions have wide, even contradictory presentations. That’s why autism is a spectrum and ADHD has subtypes.

Not having a single blood test doesn’t invalidate a condition; many accepted diagnoses (migraine, IBS, depression, etc.) are clinical and still very real, with strong genetic and neurological evidence behind them.

“Anyone can claim it” sure, but misuse doesn’t erase a legitimate condition.

It's a shame you question those diagnosed with neurodiversity; neurodiverse individuals already face internal prejudice, stereotyping and often mental health issues due to their differences, and external judgement just compounds this.

I know some people but not all, are diagnosed correctly, some not.
I have absolutely no intentions of being insensitive, cruel or provocative.
I'm reading, listening and learning. 💜

Bollocks you're a teacher. Surely in 2025 no teacher is stupid enough to describe "the quirks, the genius, the personality!" as descriptive of autism?! I genuinely hate posts like this. How arrogant do you have to be to think that just because YOU don't observe traits of autism or ADHD in a child, they don't have it. You are exactly the reason so many children suffer and don't get the help they need. I hope to god you aren't really a teacher, because you should be ashamed.

I was referring to the we’re all on the spectrum bit. We really , really aren’t.

Absolutely - it's a difference in processing information.

I work in this industry and many colleagues would like to see Autism 'disorder' re-catagorised as a processing difference, not disability.

There are very, very clear criteria for diagnosing autism and ADHD. I have never heard of anyone being incorrectly diagnosed, ever. Where are you getting your information from?

A spectrum

OP, I'm going to say this as nicely as I possibly can.

You have absolutely no input as to whether mentioning autism/ADHD in a post is relevant or not. If a poster didn't think it was relevant, they wouldn't have mentioned it.

Autistic people, and people with ADHD, can often misread situations or can struggle to tell if they're coming across clearly or not. I know that, for me, I tend to stumble over my words a lot and repeat things because I think repeating things will make what I'm saying much more clear. I also suck at reading situations properly and therefore, I feel it necessary to say that I'm autistic because I want to make sure that people can advise me based on their experiences with similar situations (whether they're autistic or not).

I'm also hypersensitive to a lot of things and despite the fact that I suck at reading situations, I will read into things far too much.

Sometimes, someone stating they're autistic can be the difference between being perceived as an arsehole Vs being perceived as someone who genuinely struggles with certain things.

I went my entire way through school until had a mental breakdown and was hospitalised.

Still wasn’t diagnosed by professionals until I was 37. To others I was just highly intelligent above my peers, introverted, depressed and socially a bit behind. Including psychiatrist and psychologists who saw me in hospital.

None of them flagged autism because of the ignorance of the medical profession around female presentation.

Thankfully understanding has moved on quite a bit but as many girls mask better than boys - no you wouldn’t know necessarily how much it affects them at all - even though you see them every day.

Had I known then would it have changed anything ? Well probably yes as I wouldn’t have put so much pressure on myself to be “like everyone else” as I never will be as my brain is wired differently. I never could be - no more than I could grow a third leg.

It may well have helped my self esteem. But we will never know.

So no I wouldn’t expect just a teacher to “know” or understand if a child is autistic as the medical world is still catching up let alone any other profession. But if you do want to understand I’m sure you could do a bit of reading about it. There are plenty of books and TV documentaries written/made very recently that look at the rise in diagnosis and why.

Any reason you’ve not done that ?

Where is your source for how many people are misdiagnosed. How do you know they have been?
In my career the handful of those misdiagnosed I have met actually have other underlying conditions that present similarly and have been diagnosed in the absence of enough research into the actual cause. For example a child who acquired a brain injury in their early years or a child who has experienced significant trauma or neglect.

Once upon a time I asked a question on MN. I believe it was actually my first ever post. There was a social situation and I was absolutely convinced I was in the right, and intended to ask the forum so I could show the person involved how ridiculously unreasonable they were being. Instead, I was absolutely savaged. A few pages in it was suggested maybe I was ND. After I cried my eyes out (it really was quite the beating), I deleted the post, deleted the account and ordered myself an assessment. I was diagnosed with severe ADHD and likely autism.

A while later, I had another social conundrum, and I set up a new account on MN. This time I started it with "I am ADHD so I'm not sure if I'm overreacting" and received kind, helpful responses. ND people really do see things differently, and maybe more pertinently, do miss things that are obvious to others. We also often have difficulties regulating our emotions, or even knowing whether our emotions are correct in their response. I wildly overreact to the smallest things whilst simultaneously ignoring huge flashing red flags that should have me running for the hills.

PS I wasn't even allowed a Gameboy growing up, or a TV in my room. I spent my childhood outdoors with dogs and horses, or indoors doing ballet or reading voraciously. You sound rather ignorant OP, and I very much hope for the sake of the children you are not really a teacher.

Unfortunately many teachers think along these lines and have very little knowledge about autism and ADHD.

ADHD is not an absolute neurological inability to concentrate and focus.

Are you still a teacher? If so may I suggest you let your head teacher know you need CPD on understanding neurodiversity.

“Everyone is on the spectrum” is misunderstanding what spectrum means.

A spectrum doesn’t mean everyone is on it. It means there’s a specific condition with a range of ways it can affect you.

You either meet the diagnostic criteria for autism (and adhd) or you don’t. Having a few traits like liking routines or being sensitive to noise isn’t the same thing as being autistic, just like feeling sad sometimes isn’t the same as having depression.

If everyone were 'a bit' autistic or 'a little' ADHD, the diagnosis wouldn’t exist.

You are absolutely not a teacher.

Nice try though.

Which is probably what some of these posters want.

She could just be a crap one. They exist. DD had the misfortune of having some.

True.

I think it is clear why this thread was started though.

and that pile of drivel just completely panned any legitimacy you have as an effective teacher.

you shouldn't BE teaching kids with ADHD if you think its because of 'screens and lack of conversation'

Absolute troll worthy fucking bullshit.

You don’t need to