To expect a thank you?

[Stayingafloatish]

I don’t know if I am being old fashioned, but growing up we always had to write to or telephone anyone who had been kind enough to get us a birthday gift.

These days things have of course moved on. I usually send a voice note/text/video from my children to the person who gave them the gift, but always ensure they say thank you in some way.

My DC has been to a number of parties for school friends lately and we haven’t had a thank you from any of them.

One of the parents said her dc opened the gifts so fast they had no clue who anything was from.

Do people just not do a thank you anymore?!

YABU: Saying thank you is old fashioned
YANBU: I always make sure my DC say thank you

For presents from birthday parties with school friends, we just said thank you at the party. Other parents did the same.

We got a present, their child got to attend a fun party, had a meal, cake and a party bag, so a thank you on the day was fine. I don’t know any parents who sent out individual thank you messages after the event, all very polite people but it just wasn’t necessary to say thank you again.

I’d the recipient has said thank you when the gift is given I don’t think a written thank you is needed.

Unless it’s a high value wedding gift or something. For small children I think a verbal thank you when they are given the gift is fine.

I think this is really cultural. I’m not originally from the UK but I’ve been here for a very long time. I’ve noticed that most English parents send me a thank you text after the party re: the present. I try my best to so the same (I’m so busy and it’s often hard to tell who gave us what), but I do it because I don’t want to be judged. Wouldn’t bother me at all to not be thanked! Perfectly fine to just say thank you in person, but I know some people are obsessive about these things.