Myself and my partner have 3 DC (1 DSS as 2 DD - one of which is her first Christmas). We would normally spend this year with my family but instead decided to have Christmas at our house and include MIL and FIL as they had nobody to spend Christmas with. When the invitation first went over to me it felt like IL were worried they would hold us up as they wouldn’t be able to get to our house until later that day, but had offered to contribute to food we would cook.
We continued with the plan with them included, in total there would be 10 of us. My DP cooked everything as put on an AMAZING spread. When it came to dishing up at the time they said they would arrive, we still hadn’t heard from them. My DSS message to find out ETA and they said not to worry they wouldn’t make it until later and to carry on without them. Which I saw how let down it made my DP and kids. It also completely ruined the atmosphere at the table as they had their hopes up. They came later on and stayed maybe an hour tops, didn’t eat a thing.
It’s not anything I find surprising from them. But am I unreasonable to not want to make any effort next year and start our own traditions. I’d rather not make effort with those who can’t reciprocate it and it would avoid the kids being let down.