To simply block this guy?

[LorettaY]

I don’t know if I should give actually some kind of explanation out of kindness.

maybe 12 years ago I met this guy Chris through a shared hobby. He was an impressive person sort of in the public eye - had been one of these ‘10 rising stars in the UK lists’ aged 18. A bit arrogant but we got on and met up twice a year, never romantic. The problem was I’d meet for 2-3 hours and he’d get upset when I wanted to go home, expecting a whole day meet. Every time.

During Covid he messaged me obsessively. So I started staggering my replies massively. He’d then complain about that. He told me he’d got into an online relationship and eventually been accused of stalking. And he was really upset about it because he wasn’t.

it was drama after drama. He’s had this privileged upbringing and never lived alone aged now 29, I feel we have little in common now. As a rising star his career seemed to crash and burn and he seems angry about that.

ive tried ignoring him for years at a time and haven’t met him since 2019 but every year be still messages asking to meet. I thought he’d finally disappeared but he messaged again this morning!

He called me ‘dear friend’ in the message and I’m mortified because to me he was always an acquaintance or very light friend. Do I owe him anything at all?

No! Of course you don't.
Edited to make clear - no you don't owe him anything.
Yes it's fine to block him.

Why on earth didn’t you block him years ago? He’s nuts. Of course you should block him.

Just block him

Just block, sounds like you should have blocked him years ago tbh

I know as well he lost a relative during Covid. I assume he’s deeply lonely and I do have sympathy for that.

but I have no interest in a friendship with him. I find it odd that he continues to message.

i did mention I had a bereavement in January and he sent a nice message. He’s not completely awful but his behaviours are off putting. I feel guilty. That’s why I haven’t blocked him.

As a side note, my best friend went to school with him and said his sister is crazy. We both thought he was the ‘normal’ sibling when we first met him but hadn’t seen his true colours I guess.

I think that you should be direct but kind

Say i'm sorry but I am not in a position where I want to continue this friendship, youre a good person, etc but I wont be in touch with you any further

Be direct and clear but kind

He sounds like his life is a shitshow, no need to make him feel worse x

@mumofoneAloneandwell I have thought about doing that.

what concerns me is 1) bumping into him as we are in a similar industry. I can’t say crossover would never happen.

2. I don’t really want to hear or see his response which I expect to be miserable and guilt tripping if it happens.

What do you want people to say here - you’ve had advice to either block him or send a nice message and then block him.
you don’t have want to do either, if you don’t change something then nothing changes and it will carry on as usual.
block. Move on.

Part of me has thought maybe I should meet one last time as maybe he’s matured. He was in his early 20s last time we met, now he’s late 20s.

even so, I just don’t really care to continue it. I have lots of friends outside of a busy career and I view this friendship as short term belonging to another time. I’m conflicted on doing the ‘right thing’, that’s why I posted.

He sounds weird just block him and move on.

There is not a "right thing" to do here, OP. Meet him if you want to. Don't meet him if you don't.

What do you mean by 'ten rising stars lists' at 18. In what respect? For doing what?

Are you sure the person messaging you is definitely him?

The language of saying 'dear friend' about someone you barely know sounds more like a scammer with poor grasp of English. Either that or he's a stalker.

If you don't feel comfortable blocking him, then you will have to waffle.

Reply in a day or two. "Hey, weirdo, this is a blast from the past. Nice to hear your news, can't commit to a meet up at the moment as have family stuff going on, but I will try and get back to you once the weather gets a bit warmer". Keep it light and vague and hopefully he will get the hint.

Or block.

I'd respond 'who is this'

And when he says 'Chris' id say 'this is Dave, which Chris i know loads' and then when he says 'Chris Smith' id say 'wrong number mate'.

@BillieWiper it sounds like something he’d say to be honest.

he was well known in his industry from about 18-22. I don’t want to say more than that.

the fact another woman accused him of stalking was a bit troubling to hear. He said he was devastated. I can’t tell if he’s a stalker or someone with no understanding of social norms.

Well he’s not going to just behaving like this with you is he (or are you wanting to think he is)?

Just block him and stop being dramatic.

I simply wouldn't reply and delete his message.
I find it very handy to have my receipts tick, turned off on WhatsApp.
If its WhatsApp, turn that off on your settings.

It might be taken badly should you reply and should you run into him you have plausible deniability that you never received the message.

Should you ever meet him, claim a crazy busy life and no time to meet up.

Gawd I'd keep well away from him. Just block.

I have been ghosted and it's not nice.

As there is the potential of crossing paths professionally, then a distant but polite message should suffice so it's not awkward if you do meet.

He sounds socially awkward with his approach.

A breezy... Hi. I'm good thanks. Busy with XYZ. Hope 2026 is good for you.

Have you posted about him before? There's a very similar post, including being a minor celeb type. Block him now.

@ThePerfectWeekend no haven’t posted this before.

leaning towards block. Need to rip off the band aid don’t I

Block and move on. simple.