Is my husband bu

[migrainy]

My mum borrowed my neck massage thing. I’ve now come down with a bad migraine and my neck and shoulder is so tight and I’ve tried meds which haven’t helped. I really want my neck massager back but husband has the car at work and I’m home with the baby. He drives passed my mums house to get home it’s max a 2 minute detour up a side road. I’ve just asked if he can grab it on the way home and he’s said he’s not really going via my mums so no. I know if I begged and said please etc he would eventually go but I don’t feel I should have too. If I knew someone was at home not well and I could help I would. Am I asking too much. I know my mum would drop it over but she’s busy and would be coming out her way where as he isn’t.

Turns out it was a big communication issue when he phoned me he thought that as he was out at appointments driving I wanted him to go and bring it over now. I meant at the end of the day when he phoned I said I would walk to my mums to get it he said that he could bring it back with him from work but couldn’t/ wouldn’t go get it now as he was busy

There's a difference between

1. "My neck massager is at mum's house; would you be able to pick it up on your way home from work?" and
2. "the meds haven't helped my migraine and I'm still in agony. I really need my neck massager so please can you get it from mum's house as soon as you can?"

(1) is fine to say "no" to if it's not convenient. (2) is not.

Husbands are not obliged to do everything their wife wants just because the wife says so. This is nothing to do with a "super special way" but simply making it clear what you want.

I'm leaning towards DH is a knob, but I have to say, as a non-migraine sufferer I wouldn't make the connection between a migraine and a neck massager. So I'd just think you wanted an item back from your mum's just because you remembered about it, not because you needed it now, iyswym? So I wouldn't see the urgency, thought I could pick it up tomorrow when I had more time, etc