Health obsessed husband

[Shouldawouldacould]

Everyday I get a new Instagram video sent to me by him, things like ‘one workout a day cures cancer’ ‘stop using fabric conditioner because you’re poisoning yourself’

It’s constant. I lost it with him last night because he talked about one of the videos and to be honest I don’t watch them anymore. I said clearly everything is going to kill us all, so I’ll just keep doing my thing and hope for the best. He says I’m going to be fat and I’ll while he’s in good health as we age and that I should care more about harming myself and our children.

All the things he sends does have evidence to back them up, but I’m exhausted, I don’t want to live like that. He doesn’t even live like that, he still will eat a McDonald’s for example if we’re out and end up there, so it’s not like he takes it all as gospel but anything enjoyable or even just basic, he places guilt on.

Anyone else dealt with this or know how best to approach it?

He keeps very fit, I’m not as fit and don’t go to the gym as much as him.

How long does he spend on these social media platforms? Can you tell him how bad social media is for him and get him to limit his use - 15 mins per day?

Then he wont be fed as much of this stuff. Once you watch a few videos on it, the algorithm will just feed you with a never ending stream of videos saying the same thing, that its almost impossible to not start believing it yourself.

As long as he's still watching the videos, nothing you say or do will change his mind.

Are you overweight? My thinking is that it's his way of telling you that you need to lose weight. Or does he think that you could be healthier, as in doing more exercise/eating better? His delivery is shit, if either is what he's trying to insinuate! There is a lot of dreadful nutrition and exercise advice out there, especially on some SM platforms. As for things like, not using fabric softener etc, people have to decide for themselves if they believe what they read. Not everything online is correct, there's a lot of misinformation out there, just as there is reliable information. You perhaps need to sit your husband down and ask him what sending you all this stuff is about? Is he trying to tell you something? If he is, then bloody say it, and stop sending you tedious shit. You've had enough and ramming his opinion down your throat is not the way to go. If this were my husband I'd be very blunt!!

Also keep an eye on him for slipping down conspiracy theory wormholes. People who believe everything they see on SM can fall prey to these very easily.

I don't think there's an easy answer to your problem, OP. Maybe asking him to stop sending you the stuff, keep it to himself, he's quite free to believe what he believes (which he clearly doesn't, otherwise he'd be changing his life accordingly) and to stop using it all as a stick to beat you with. Ask him what he hopes to gain from sharing this all with you. Does he want YOU to change, even though he hasn't?

To add to my post above - I had a similarish thing with a friend, who was somewhat of an influencer and would spend a lot of time on social media.

Their algorithm was feeding them so much negative stuff about the world, that they became so angry at everything and were just horrible to be around. They couldn't see the positive in anything anymore because all they were fed all day was negativity on SM. It nearly ruined their relationship, until they were given a ultimatum - get off social media or i'm leaving.

They got off social media and it has got a lot better.

Perhaps instead of sending reels he could actually do things to help achieve his goal of a healthier family or whatever?

Does he cook? If so does he do a load of healthy meals prep? Organise organic veg boxes?

Does he get to the gym more than you because it's assumed you're on kid duty? If so, and he genuinely thinks you should do more to stay healthy, how is he going to ensure you get the time you need?

If, as I suspect, he is sending you all these reels as some sort of healthy to do list, you need to bat it right back at him.

Oh I’ve got one, he thinks he’s an expert. He’s been severely overweight for 85% of the 15 years I’ve known him but bores me to tears about carcinogens and salt content etc. He lost 7 stone 7 years ago and thinks he’s an expert in nutrition. He’s put 5 stone of that back on btw. We spend every special occasion with him telling me several times a day that he’ll be getting ‘dialled in’ when we get back from holiday or after Christmas etc. I can’t even enjoy the food we are eating in the moment because he is talking about how he won’t be eating it soon. Bear in mind I eat the foods he’s referring to semi regularly and am a healthy weight, he eats to excess moments after talking about an exercise move or equipment he’s getting! Yesterday he told me exactly what he plans on eating whilst at work after Christmas and I couldn’t help myself and told him I don’t care. He only knows so much about exercise and nutrition because he watches videos and reads about it all the time. He can do this by ignoring his children when they say his name and obviously I pick up the slack so it’s at my expense I hate him actually and this is one of the reasons. It kills feelings to be dictated to and there’s the insinuation that they’re superior in some way. The absolute kicker for me is that mine is actually quite unwell a lot even when he’s eating well and exercising. He has a dreadfully delicate stomach, tinnitus and suffers with nosebleeds where as I am like a creaking gate that barely gets ill, iron clad stomach, weighs less than half of what he does etc. He forgets that though, whenever he’s ill he pretends it’s because he’s not eating well and can’t seem to remember that he was unwell when he was on an eating well and exercising streak 😂 He once told me to only use half a spice pack in our spaghetti bolognaise because of the salt content and then had a McDonalds breakfast the next day. Whatever mate.

Just reply with “if i die.. I die”.