Should I LTB?

[Gottobebannee]

DP and I have been together 18 months. Both mid 40s. We live in a town at least an hours drive from a motorway.

We've done a few long distance drives in the UK. We've each both driven these distances in our own cars.

On the motorway, I use lanes 2 and 3 to overtake, else I'm in lane 1.

He is a lane 2 driver 😩

As well as being unsafe, he's got a 1 litre engine, so it's not as if he keeps up with traffic. Fastest he drove on our 4 hour journey yesterday was 65mph.

Yesterday I raised it with him for the first time, as we're now at the point in our relationship where I feel I can. He said he feels safest being in the middle lane as you don't get stuck between all the unsafe lorry drivers in lane 1. As we were driving to our holiday destination, I didn't want to push the matter and start our NY break on the wrong tone.

This man is wonderful in every way possible. But I'm lying here next to him thinking how to best address this flaw!

Any tips MN?

YABU- talk to him again
YANBU - LTB right here, right now

Makes you wonder about his “performance,” doesn’t it?

Yes, same here. It can even go over 70mph. It just takes a bit longer to get to thst speed than a more powerful car might, but not very noticeably so. It does struggle with very steep hills sometimes, which has occasionally been noticeable when visiting family in Wales, but it still does them, just slowly.

I would not be comfortable with someone who is a middle land hogger - you only have to avoid lorries when there are actually lorries there. And I wouldn't be impressed at doing 65mph in the 2nd lane if it's a national speedlight stretch in good conditions and not very busy. (There were times on my motirway journey yesterday when that would have been impossibly fast.)

I had to do a motorway awareness course after being caught foing over 50mph on a motorway, (because the temporary speedlight signs were not well-situated, IMO,) and it was really interesting - I don't know if you can book them privately, but it sounds like he needs something like that.

I had to do a motorway awareness course after being caught foing over 50mph on a motorway, (because the temporary speedlight signs were not well-situated, IMO,) and it was really interesting - I don't know if you can book them privately, but it sounds like he needs something like that.

Oooh, you may have hit on the answer @EBearhug

He's doing a speed awareness course next month - 35mph in a 30mph zone (meters after it changes from 40mph) - so it'll be the perfect opportunity to discuss afterwards.

Thank you!

The motorway awareness was different from the speed awareness I'd done 10 years previously, but probably you need to be caught on a motorway for that. They were both good though, and in Hampshire at least, thry seem to be run by ex traffic cops, so they'd definitely know about motorways too.

I suspect your challenge will be to get him to ask them about it.

Obviously LTB. And torch his car

I can only imagine the congestion and frustration behind him.

We live a mile away from the nearest motorway and use it often. People who don’t know how to drive on the motorway drive me mad. They’re dangerous.

It's illegal and unsafe.

I think I'd get the ick from someone being so dense tbh!

😹
I’ve got a car with a small engine and, as others say, it can get to 70mph and a good bit over but it takes its time to get there. I use cruise control a lot now due to stricter enforcement of speed limits

My thinking was it will be a good way into the conversation with him.

My sister knows a couple who met on a speed awareness course

I really hope you're not a driver.

It isn't me who drives in the middle lane it's op's bf ffs. And it isn't op's responsibility to change his driving nor is it within her power. If she wants to leave him, fine. If she wants to change him, not fine.

Agree. Middle lane hoggers absolutely boil my piss

All jokes aside I don’t think I could date a man who thought it was the proper way to drive - it would annoy me too much

not ideal but hardly a dumpable offence. I prefer this to aggressive driving, road rage & red light jumping.

I hope this is sarcasm.

Either way, I know there are people out there who truly think like that and get upset when their very questionable dating criteria don't land them with good men.

We often see "Don't hog the middle lane" signs on the m'way. What does he do when those are up on the matrix?

Slowly, in the middle lane 😂

Dh has got a one litre car, Focus. It goes faster than my 1.8.

If I want a powerful car, I buy one. Don't need a man to drive me about or buy it. Also, there's the fuel consumption aspect. Nothing sexy about pouring endless cash into the car.

I wouldn't leave a otherwise nice bloke over the way he drives. I just wouldn't be a passenger on the motorway. It's extremely dangerous and encourages dangerous driving like undertaking.

Oh dear - do you lack a sense of humour?

OP it would drive me mad. Nothing worse than a middle lane hogger. Issue is that for some stupid reason the UK don't include motorway driving in their lessons or test. If they did, we'd have people driving properly on motorways and would most likely result in less accidents.

😂😂

No, i don't lack a sense of humour but it seems that you do. You find the middle lane driving annoying. I also find it annoying, but I find self righteous people who think they are better than their partners and want to change them even more annoying.

This suggests a huge lack of driving confidence and understanding. I see he's also been done for speeding. Bet he's got a load of crap excuses about why what he does is "right".

The Highway Code also advises against excessive lane changing so while I do 'keep left' I wont constantly change between lanes 1 & 2 either

Can you say which rule you are referring to? There is Rule 268, which includes "Do not weave in and out of lanes to overtake." One persons weaving in and out is another person's safe overtaking, of course but perhaps I'm missing the rule you're meaning?

The car doesn’t bother me but he shouldn’t be hogging the middle lane!