....to expect some intimacy in a marriage?

[OneZippyLimeDuck]

We have been married for over 15 years and sadly the intimacy has more or less stopped. It is very one sided with my partner generally not interested at all. I have an overwhelming feeling of rejection causing depression and anxiety. Am I being unreasonable to expect some intimacy in our relationship? I cannot initiate intimacy any more as I just get turned away but waiting for something to happen is very frustrating as it is not a priority at all for my partner so I often have to wait 2-3 months.

YABU to post expecting intimacy when you mean sex 🤦‍♀️

YABU to expect your partner to be intimate with you

Your not talking about waiting 2-3 months for a cuddle are you ( which is also intimacy )

You mean sex?

Why is it not a priority? What does your partner say about it? Is it due to eg menopause, childbirth injuries, stressful job, mental health issues, illness etc?

What does your partner say are they willing to work through it? Get help?

Is it all intimacy? From holding hands all the way through to sex or is there some physical intimacy? Is there emotional intimacy?

I intentionally used the word 'intimacy' as I am referring to all kinds of intimacy. Cuddles, touches, kisses etc are all initiated by me. Over time this all feels very one-way and leaves me feeling rejected and worthless.

Yes I’d feel the same. It’s fine for your partner to refuse sex or cuddles or whatever if they don’t want to - that is their right and their prerogative, and being coerced into sex is awful. however it isn’t fine for them to expect
you to remain in the relationship if you are not ok with that. Have you spoken to them about the reasons for not wanting sex?

I would say most people see it as part of a healthy marriage. Is the relationship otherwise good? Would your partner say they feel their needs are met in the relationship?