My sister keeps copying me...

[Hana89]

This is pretty light hearted, and obviously she can buy whatever she likes. That said:

My sister (27F) keeps buying the same things as me (36F) and I'm finding it really annoying. She is staying with my family over Christmas and since she has been here she's ordered several things that I have (think clothes, bedding, soft furnishings, plants, and even a paint colour!) and today, I foolishly mentioned that I'd managed to get a coat in the sale that I'd been eyeing up for a little while, and within minutes she'd gone online and ordered the same one!

I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does!
She made a joke saying "Gosh! I'm such a little copycat!" and I snipped back "You really are!" and she looked a bit hurt. I shouldn't have agreed with her, and I wish I hadn't said anything because she is a nice person and I didn't mean to hurt her feelings.

I can't work out why it is bothering me really. I am trying to find my identity again now that my DD is 2 and I feel like I can hold a thought in my head again, and I would really like some things to feel like they are mine, but her having them doesn't really detract from that.

I am starting to dread my sister asking where I got something or to send her links, and I know that is mean, but I also wonder if it is a normal reaction to feeling copied at a time when you really do not want to feel like another person clinging to your coat-tails?

Tell her no details about what you are doing.

order something really horrible

Start telling her you’re ordering the most hideous things and sharing links for revolting items and she’ll buy them and look ridiculous!

Just be more vague about things.

I can't actually remember where I got it from.
It was from a charity shop/Vinted.
It was a gift, I think-I can't remember who from.
The label has been cut out.

Don't send her links ffs 😂

My sister once dated a guy with the same (very unusual) first name and surname as my boyfriend at the time . I thought that was taking copying to the extreme

I know people say it's a compliment but it's incredibly irritating isn't it!

She loves you.
She wants to be exactly like you.

Please don’t listen to the people telling you to purchase ugly things so she’ll look ugly.
That’s cruel.

Take a deep breath and tell her to knock it off, that it irritates the hell outta you. You love her to bits, but this copying shit has to stop this minute, no ifs ands or buts.

Then go out for coffee somewhere in matching outfits. I’m just teasing.

She sounds a bit insecure and lacking confidence. She obviously really looks up to you which is flattering, but I can understand why it's also annoying.

I think I'd put you with it as much as possible but be vague about key things that you don't want her to copy.

Maybe pick something she has and copy her for once. That might give her the confidence boost she needs to make some independent choice.

Every time this topic comes up on here, and someone asks what the exact items copied were, it always turns out to be the most generic stuff that half the population has, like Next clothes or IKEA furniture or Dulux Timeless.

I remember a post on here years ago where the OP was devastated as her friend had got the same completely yoonique brand of bracelet as her. It was an amazingly special bracelet where you could choose special beads to go on that meant something and it was only for her and friend was wicked to have copied.

Yes, it was a Pandora bracelet...

Exactly. I remember a baby name one where someone in the extended family or eider friendship group had ‘copied’ a baby name, and it was Olivia. Or another where a friend had attracted the OP’s outrage for buying the same brand and colour of car, and it was a silver Vauxhall Corsa or something.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery

I've never understood why some adults get so worked up about 'copying'. Surely it's a compliment? She thinks you have great taste, that's it.

Your sister having the same shade of paint in her downstairs loo really doesn't affect your life in any way at all, does it?

I love it when people want the same stuff as me it makes me feel proud! I think I’m the only one though…

It’s kind of touching but I can appreciate how it irritates you. Leave her to it but maybe next time you buy something special and she asks ‘oh I love your full length purple coat! Where did you get it?’ Say ‘I’m not telling you with this one, Cheeky-Chops!’ We’re sisters not twins!’ And laugh.
I once had a friend who used to do this - but - she always had to go one better. It was pathetic. At least your DS sounds nice.

Totally this, it’s very childish to get worked up about ‘but she’s copying meeee’, it sounds like something a whiny 6 year old would complain about not a grown adult.

This.

Id be pleased as punch if my baby sis wanted to look like me!

It’s a huge compliment imo, and unless you go around together all the time what does it matter? The coat maybe ok, but bedding? A plant? Who the fuck cares?

My si! Does this. She copies stuff for the house. But also clothes. If I'm wearing a cream jumper she will go and put one on. It's like she thinks that looks nice then finds a similar item and wears it. In interior design she has a really bad eye and no ideas. I keep telling myself imitatio n is the sincerest form of flatter y . But it's annoying . So I've no advice as i also say nothing.

I think I agree with everyone on here when I view it from different angles, and thank you for taking the time to chip in.
Some of the bits are generic, I won't lie, and that's fine. It's all fine really, but I think it's the cumulative effect that is irking me.
It is the elder sibling urge after a couple of proseccos to think "OMG. Get your own style!" - like a mini regression over the holidays.
I think today I will gently ask her to just not tell me all the time. By all means order the same things, but don't immediately tell me that you've done it because it does spark this very old irritation for whatever reason, reasonable or not.