Should I be concerned by DH’s betting?

[OperationFerret]

I’ve been with DH for ten years, married for five years, and we have one DD. He’s a good dad and good husband.

For as long as I’ve known him he’s enjoyed sports betting, mainly football. He’s completely transparent about this, and it’s a bit of a hobby. He bets 2-3 times per week. He keeps a spreadsheet of wins and losses and usually makes a profit every calendar month - for example, this month, he’s up £120. He never gambles more than £10 of his own money, usually less; aside from that he gambles his winnings.

We’re very transparent about money, I know his bank balance, he knows mine, and we have a joint account for bills / food / joint expenses. He’s never missed his contribution and usually tops up the joint account if we’ve had an expensive month. Never missed a bill, no debt (except the mortgage). He’s a relatively high earner (as am I) and we’re comfortable financially.

He always tells me when he wins, and very often pays the money into the joint account. He says he likes the challenge of betting, as well as the winnings.

In these circumstances would you be concerned about the gambling? Or is it harmless fun?

sounds well controlled.
not an issue for me.

No I wouldn’t be concerned

As you describe, no, not an issue at all. Has something happened to concern you?

I mentioned it in passing to a friend and she raised an eyebrow - she wasn’t critical but definitely didn’t think it was a good idea.

I disagree with other posters. I do not think he sounds like he has a problem, but this:

He says he likes the challenge of betting, as well as the winnings.
If he is chasing a feeling, it might have the possibility of getting worse.

No, absolutely no concern based on what you’ve written.

As someone who no longer gambles, but did like a sports bet, the red flag behaviours are things like betting on sports/leagues you’ve never heard of (Korean handball 2nd division, Bolivia junior football league etc), betting at odd times such as during work hours or in the middle of the night, missing bills, taking out credit to gamble with, mood changes based on how the bet has gone, chasing losses.

I took that to mean he liked the challenge of researching the teams, their previous form, goals for/against, injuries to key players etc. That’s the challenge, and getting it right to win profit is the enjoyment.

Could be wrong though!

I hate gambling and I don’t regard the betting industry as harmless fun but I don’t think that sounds particularly worrying. Surely it’s just the equivalent of someone enjoying a couple of pints down the pub a couple of times a week with their mates as opposed to being an alcoholic. Potentially a slippery slope for some but plenty of people will drink or gamble at that level and be totally fine.

It does sound like he views it as a hobby and enjoys doing the research.

I wouldn't be concerned.

DH does match betting but works shifts so it never encroaches on family time and he would not ever use family money to do it.

If either of the above were to change, that's when I would be concerned.

Yes of course that makes sense,

I guess it depends what his personality is generally like.

I read somewhere about the 1 per cent rule. Don't bet more than 1 per cent of your income.

It’s perfectly possible to gamble and it not be a problem. Like you can drink alcohol and it not be a problem. You know your finances etc and your values. If his gambling is within your personal boundaries then it’s fine.

It sounds OK to me. I like gambling myself occasionally, though I play roulette at the local casino if I'm there on a night out. I start with £20 and always quit while I'm ahead. Last time I came away £36 richer. I don't do it often and I'd never be irresponsible and gamble with hundreds of pounds. It sounds like your DH has his head screwed on and is thinking carefully about his bets.

I wouldn't be concerned.

My late DH was very interested in betting and used to similarly do spread sheets and research horses and betting systems. He used to often just theoretically put on bets to see how much he would have won or lost and was very disciplined as to how much and when he put on an actual money bet. He never made any large wins but equally only ever made small losses.

Your H sounds as though he is in control of what he is doing.

I think that if he is limiting his own money to such a small amount and then playing only with his winnings, that’s a pretty safe way of gambling. As pp said, it’s sort of equivalent to going to the pub once a week and having 1 or 2 pints then coming home- it’s not escalating, it’s not causing harm.

Maybe your friend has experienced problem gambling, which may colour her view of it as a recreation?

I think its fine, we like to bet on the horses, yesterday we both lost the £10 we put on.
But was fun watching together on the tv we would have spent more going out to lunch. Two weeks ago we won £125. I keep tack in the app and check the profit and loss. We will be £191 up this year, not much and wouldnt have mattered if we had no profit really.

Match betting though isn’t gambling. It’s maths. Finding the odds on different websites one to bet the team loses and one to bet that the team wins then when both of the odds are in your favour it means you can place both bets and after the match what ever the score you collect the winnings. Using the bookies own free bets and sites that flag up the odds and what you need to place help