To think he isn’t being fair

[Ditzyandconfused]

I’ve been with my DP for 3 years and for 2 of those he has worked abroad. We have 5 children between us, my youngest is 18 and his is 21. We moved in together in September, lots of upheaval for me and my children but he was away for the move. November he tells me his youngest had said she will be spending Christmas with him, no discussion, no checking it was ok. I expressed concern at the time that he wouldn’t be spending Christmas at home and I was told it was all decided and too difficult to change.
Christmas comes and I’m upset because he chose to spend it away. This has lead to a huge row because I’m spoiling his Christmas because I feel sad. I’m on my own with the kids and he is living it up in fancy hotels and sending me photos of him having a great time. Ive had a day of silent treatment and I just feel like I don’t matter. AIBU to be upset, I really need some perspective.

Cut and run. Four years with my ex who was away every Christmas living it up in fancy hotels. There is only one place a relationship like that leads to and it's not a "happily ever after".

So is he abroad with his DD for Christmas?
Is there a reason you couldn't join him?
You say your left alone with the kids, but unless they have disabilities 18+ aren't kids that you are 'left alone with'. They're adults who don't require looking after.

You stayed home with your adult children ? You had the freedom to do whatever you wanted .
However - it sounds like your boyfriend doesn’t prioritise your relationship anyway so u would get rid. How could he have moved in with you if he wasn’t even there !! He sounds like a joke !

It's not unreasonable for him to want to spend Christmas with his children, just as you want to spend Christmas with yours. Is there any reason why you couldn't all spend it together at home? Are his children not accepting of your relationship?

He's been away for two thirds of your relationship and you thought it was a good idea to move in with him?

I'd focus on your own choices rather than his. You can't do anything about his bad decisions, but you can improve your own decision making.