To be really annoyed i now don’t have a birthing partner?

[SameOldMe]

My mum was going to be my birthing partner, whilst partner looks after our 10 year old.
I now have a date to be induced and she has said no she can’t she’s working that date !
So I have to do it alone, even though she offered in the first place so I haven’t asked anyone else and have very limited options.
AIBU to feel upset and will I able to do it alone?

Sorry your mum has let you down

Can you get a babysitter or friend on standby to have the 10 year old? At 10, they're probably old enough to have a friend's parent look after them?

Failing that I'd get a doula I think. Doulas are great - and probably more helpful than a mum or partner!

Can't they swap? Is the date on a normal day - i.e. when your child is at school? So your mum can look after your child after work/school and your partner can be with you on the day?

That's really rubbish, did she assume you would conveniently go into labour on her day off when she agreed??
At 10, I'm surprised that is the option you chose for your child, unless he has additional needs you haven't mentioned there must surely be another option of care for him so your partner can be with you?

My induction took 5 days - most of it spent alone, so she may be your birthing partner yet!! :)

Partner faints at sight of blood. With my first child and was actually more of a hindrance than help as he passed out. I can ask a school mum to help look after for an evening, but I’m worried in case the induction takes days and it’s very short notice now.

You’re unlikely to give birth the day you go in to be induced, does she have flexibility? Can a school friend help out?

I’m scared of that ! How did you find it alone?

This isn’t her first baby, induction may only be a couple of hours. Yes op you absolutely can do it yourself. The midwives will support you and as you found birth partners are often more trouble than help! The midwives will be entirely focused on you.

Yes I can ask a school friend but I don’t ideally want to ask for more than one night. I thought when offering she would be a available at short notice , very surprised with a planned date she’s said she has to work.

Don't worry sweetheart, you will NEVER do it alone!

People in hospital will be there for you.

I gave birth squatting with 3 medical students , I gave my permission of course.

My husband -at the time - was holding me up.

Utterly amazing.

I spent 5 days being induced alone with dc1 (although DH was there for the actual moment) and subsequently gave birth alone with dc2 (well obvs the midwife was there).

Honestly it was actually fine, especially as I had done it already, tbh it was better not having any "civilians" there and only actual medical professionals as I didnt really find DH very helpful/mildly annoying the first time around.

Thank you do many people do it alone? I know will have midwifes but worried , my partner did try and help and support me first time but ultimately wasn’t able to, baby was crowning and he was out cold with his nose split open ! I can laugh about it now but at the time i was very stressful.

Thank you i needed to hear this. Think the thought of going alone scares me.

Why don’t you ask friend to go with you? I had a queue of friends wanting to be there when I was dumped at 8 months pregnant

it’s very short notice, all my friends have their own families I kind of feel like I’m going to be putting them on the spot.

My induction took 34 hours and I was one of the quickest on the bay at the time. It’s very unlikely to be on the first day

I would be so honoured to be asked to be a birthing partner. Just saying in case there is someone else you think would be helpful. If they have kids but a partner at home it might be worth asking.

The induction period was quite boring so I would defo download some stuff on an ipdad etc/bring lots of books

Im sure you will be fine and I did think I got more "you can do it" from thr midwife when I was on my own so hopefully this will be the same for you xx

I've given birth 4 times alone - it was fine! I just completely immersed myself, only had myself to think about. Just ask the midwives to take lots of photos 😊 I had an extremely detailed birth plan in case I wasn't able to advocate for myself.

Thanks everyone definitely feeling reassured but a bit upset with my mum.

If a friend asked me to be their birthing partner I’d see it as such an honour I’d cancel whatever else I was doing to be there.

I gave birth second time alone as husband missed the birth by accident (late arriving). It was fine. Midwives are more useful than anyone else

Sorry but surely you know she has a job? She can’t keep weeks free. Likely induction will take a while anyway, she can try and get there after work

Were you expecting her to book the days off work? This would have been short notice

Maybe I’m being unrealistic then - i can’t imagine offering to be a birthing partner if i was unable to get time off at short notice, because had i gone into labour naturally it could be even shorter notice