Family visiting, help me not be a bitch

[StressedoutFTM998]

We live abroad, my lovely parents who love us and have great intentions and are still quite young (late 50s) are visiting. I have a 15 month old DS, me and DH are used to being on our own and managing etc.

4 days in and, while I am polite, I just can't manage to be relaxed and cheerful. My mum keeps making up jobs, takes 3 hours to do the dishes (not exagerating), spent another 2 hours separating my laundry into various colours but not actually doing any laundry, keeps trying to force my toddler into doing stuff he doesn't want, tries to force me to go away and have a break when said toddler is screaming etc. My dad is a typical useless middle aged man who has never done anything at home and asks a million questions and driving me nuts. Staring at the fridge asking me where the cheese is but the cheese is literally in front of him. WTF?

I scratched my car in a parking lot last night as I was so stressed on way back from supermarket, DS screaming in the back , mum and dad bickering, asked mum to entertain DS a bit as he doesn't love his car seat but she was too busy having a go at my dad for packing the shopping wrong.....

They also don't watch DS very well so I can't really leave them to it, which is what they want. They just can't keep up with him. Which is fine, I want to spend time with him, I'm used to chasing him around, but my parents keep insisting on giving me a break.

I would rather they sit, eat my food, play with DS and do nothing. They're interfering with everything and I'm so fucking stressed I'm going to explode.

Bless you how long are they staying?

There's a reason that we leave home and don't live with our parents forever. These little interludes are just designed to remind us of this.

Yeah always stressful having anyone stay for extended periods - I felt the same with parents and in-laws. My youngest just didn't want to go to them as he didn't know them very well and took a while to warm up to them which they took personally! Of course, it was our fault because we were the ones who moved away! No advice, just solidarity ✊️ deep breaths and go and scream into a pillow!

I’m the same age as your parents and have a daughter I’d guess your age, I’d be gutted if you said this about me, they are your parents and only visiting for a short time. Maybe they are incompetent but you sound as though they are an inconvenience to you.

I love them dearly and I am trying my very best which is why I'm here venting! They have very good intentions but my mum wants to be an "involved " grandma which means trying to take over in a house that's not her own and that she barely knows with routines suited for an elderly retired couple, not a house with a toddler.

And they are actually an inconvenience. If they just sat there, entertained DS a bit, and just enjoyed themselves a bit, we would be much happier. But my mum spending 3 hours cleaning the kitchen and 2 hours sorting laundry is neither helpful nor entertaining!

My parents' dynamic is also very difficult. They worked together and have been together 24/7 for the last 30 years +. Their way of dealing with it is by bickering all the time, or, in their view, being very honest. I found it stressful growing up, I find it stressful now too!

They then make up and are lovely to each other but everyone else in the room is left a bit...exhausted.

I just don’t get why people can’t just respect their children as being grown up etc. interfering parents need to snap out of it xx