MIL gift

[GettingThingsDoneSlowly]

I was part of my in laws secret Santa and the theme was to pick something you thought they might like.
I was dubious and despite being in the family 14 years I don’t feel like anyone has tried to get to know me well.
I was given a hot food flask and pack of instant noodles from MIL… The issue isn’t the gift it’s the fact does she really not know me that well she has to get me the same stocking filler gift bought for her son? I did genuinely think the gift was for him!
stupidly asked my other half to raise this with her and of course she’s now upset and it’s ruined her Christmas etc I know we shouldn’t have said anything in hindsight.
how do I get past this going forward as I do feel guilty but obviously look like an ungrateful nut job now!

I think it was rude to say you didn't like the gift!

A food flask might not be the most incredible gift, but it's not terrible.

Nowt you can do now you asked your DP to raise it on your behalf.

I wouldn't have bothered as SS is just a bit of fun 🤷‍♂️

If you feel that way then you should make an effort to get to know her, ask her to spend a day out with each other or invite her for tea without your husband around.
I think you were rude with the way you went about this, even if that wasn't your intention.

It’s secret Santa. I couldn’t for the life of me get upset and anxious over it. How old are you?

What do you mean by 'raise it with her'? did your DH say you didn;t like her gift because that's quite rude and unkind. Do you know what kind of thing she likes. is the distance between you mutual ?

I'd quite like a food flask, I wouldn;t moan that someone didn;t know me if I got one, I mean she knows you eat hot food (unless one of your major personality traits is that you only ever eat cold food and that is a well known thing and she's being PA)

Well you asked for it didn’t you….I mean come on…it’s secret Santa…..nothing wrong with a food flask…loads of worse pressies…..sounds like you don’t like her

Shouldn't that theme be applicable to all Xmas gifts ?
Surely she can come up with a reason why she thought you would like it ? Otherwise why did she buy it ?

A pack of instant noodles though… that’s the kind of gift I’d give a student 🤣

What exactly did you ask your dh to “raise”? 🤦🏻‍♀️.

Not surprised they don’t try to know you better after 14 years if that is how you behave over a SS gift.

I couldn’t imagine caring if my MIL got me a naff present or not.
Also had to smile at the “theme”… groundbreaking!!!

It was more a case of after this length of time it’s a bit disappointing that you don’t know her better.
obviously now all is said and done I know it was very rude to say anything.
The overreaction on my behalf was due to other factors over the years I guess all manifesting through this stupid secret Santa!

Obviously YWBU to complain / get your dh to complain about what you were given.

how do I get past this going forward as I do feel guilty but obviously look like an ungrateful nut job now!

That's a more tricky question.

For next year, either suggest not swapping presents at all, or suggest that people share a list of suggestions within the budget ? Might solve your present dilemma, but not sure how we can help you with your manners.

Yeah you were rude. The gift wasn’t great but it is not that deep to give feed back