I had my little girl 4 months ago and I’m really unhappy in my marriage. I do most of the childcare and have no confidence as a mum, which feels worse because my husband constantly criticises or questions how I care for our daughter.
When he’s around, I feel judged all the time — eye-rolling, hovering, and comments like “is that a good idea?” Even when I say how this makes me feel, he tells me he’s just asking and that I’m being too sensitive.
I feel anxious raising any ideas about our daughter, like changing her bedtime or formula. Even though these things don’t affect him, I have to justify myself and almost beg for permission. Often I’m met with silence or disbelief, then a flat “no.”
Because of this, I avoid speaking up and just agree with him to prevent arguments.
When my daughter cries, my anxiety spikes because he steps in, tells me what to do, or takes her from me as if he knows best.
I try to be loving and appreciative of him as a dad, but when I’m upset later, he uses that against me and questions why I said I love him.
I cry most days and my husband tells me I need to stop being sensitive and he’s not going to change as I’m the one with the issue. Making things up.
I want leave.I feel so unhappy. The problem is I have a little girl, I’m on mat leave and have nowhere to go.
I genuinely don’t know if it’s a problem that I’ve created in my head.
I’m so confused and at a lost I need objective opinions.
I don’t know what I can/should do next? X