Yesterday was our first day back at my parents’ house with my husband and our two young children. My three sisters were already there, as they spent Christmas Day with my parents. Everyone generally gets along okayish, but crazy arguments do happen.
There was a fallout on Christmas Day when I wasn’t even present, so at least no blame could be placed on me.
Yesterday itself started really well. We had a lovely day until my eldest sister’s daughter (28) returned from shopping. She had gone with her sister (23), my second sister’s daughter (also 23), and my 12-year-old niece. They all bought gifts for my younger children, which was really kind. There was a lot of excitement, and my kids were genuinely happy. The boys (15, 16, and 17) were great with my 7-year-old son, who absolutely loved being around them. My daughter spent time with her four female cousins. The atmosphere was warm and happy.
I was sitting talking to one of my sisters about my mental health and how disconnected I’ve been feeling. I told them how glad I was that I chose to come over on Boxing Day as kids are so happy playing. I isolated myself from my family and probably everyone else for past 3 years. Then, completely out of nowhere, my 28-year-old niece began screaming at me. She told my sister to stop talking to me because I had apparently called her “that one.” I had no idea what she was referring to, and neither did anyone else present. My eldest sister tried to calm her down.
Apparently, during the present opening which had happened around two hours earlier when I told my children to thank all their cousins, I supposedly said “that one too,” directed at my niece. I genuinely don’t remember saying this. I asked why she hadn’t said anything at the time, as I would have immediately apologised.
The situation escalated. My niece told my sister not to ever talk to me again and told me that her sister hates me too. At that point, I became angry and defended myself, saying I had no idea what she was talking about. My eldest sister then told me to “fuck off” twice, in front of my children, who were visibly upset. My husband stepped in to defend me and was also told to “fuck off.”
My nephew said he thought it was a non-issue but he thinks I might have said something like, “Give your cousins a hug to say thank you, and this one too” directed at him as my kids walked past him - he was sat to the right of me on his own whilst others were sat in another corner. He said no one at the time thought anything of it and no one else could remember me saying this and that was the only thing he could think of that she meant.
My niece left the house at 11pm, in the dark. I tried to stop her, hugged her, and told her it was okay and that we could talk, but she still left. After that, everything felt incredibly awkward.
I cried in bed silently all night because I didn’t want my children to see me upset. I really need to talk to someone so posting on mumsnet for advice and guidance. Please be kind as I feel low. I’ve been feeling very low questioning my marriage prior to coming here, but the way my husband stood by me and defended me yesterday is making he confused with what the issue of my sadness is.
I know my mum will likely take my niece’s side. Being back here is extremely difficult for me because I was sexually abused as a child, and returning to my family home brings back memories of neglect and lack of protection from my mum. I was severely bullied and physically attacked as a child too by my 3 older sisters on a regular basis.