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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask to be signed off work? 32 weeks pregnant. Very passive aggressive boss

32 replies

lmt92 · 26/12/2025 21:10

32 weeks pregnant, suffering with so many aches and pains including sciatica, spd and just overall being exhausted. Averaging at about 3 hours of broken sleep per night. Have been trucking on at work even though it’s killing me but my manager is just giving me nothing back. Literally broke down at work this week as I was in so much pain. She looked at me like I had 10 heads and said “are the extra breaks not helping then no?” 🫠 just to clarify, the extra breaks are 2 x 5min unpaid breaks in the back in addition to my 45 minute lunch. I’m working 8 hour shifts but it’s been so busy I’m always leaving 1-1.5 hours later (being guilt tripped into that by her too).

It was honestly my last straw and I thought why am I breaking my back for this? I get sick pay so I’m not worried about that. It sounds stupid but I’m a chronic people pleaser and my boss makes me so anxious. She’s so passive aggressive, she doesn’t scare me but she makes me nervous if you get me! Like I know if I get a doctors note on Monday because of my pain she will make my life really hard, will constantly message me asking when I’m returning etc…

what should I do? I’m so burnt out and In agony. But just the thought of telling her I won’t be in makes my stomach turn

OP posts:
Ccandmarmite · 27/12/2025 09:23

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Bearbookagainandagain · 27/12/2025 09:44

lmt92 · 26/12/2025 21:15

my mat leave starts at 36 weeks- can they force me to go before this??

They legally have to start your mat leave for any pregnancy related sickness at this stage of the pregnancy.

RabbitsEatPancakes · 27/12/2025 09:46

I'd power through, I'd want the time with my baby if planning to return to work rather than time at home sick. 12months mat leave is so short, cutting it down to 10 or 11months is ridiculous. They're still such tiny babies who need their mum.

whatsit84 · 27/12/2025 09:49

Yes at my work they’d make you start mat leave. It’s normal to ache when you are pregnant and not sleep much.

Nonsense10 · 27/12/2025 10:13

whatsit84 · 27/12/2025 09:49

Yes at my work they’d make you start mat leave. It’s normal to ache when you are pregnant and not sleep much.

Which is illegal. They cannot force anyone to go onto maternity leave before 36 weeks with a pregnancy related issue.

Nonsense10 · 27/12/2025 10:17

OP - please ignore anyone who is saying that you can be forced onto maternity leave before 36 weeks. Any work place doing this is acting illegally.

You can be made to go on maternity leave from 36 weeks if you are signed off with a pregnancy related issue.

If you are signed off with work related stress, then they cannot force you on maternity leave until 40 weeks.

As you are going off at 36 weeks, just get signed off now. As often you need to give 8 weeks notice to change it/delay maternity leave.

Mumofoneandone · 27/12/2025 10:24

Maybe worth talking to ACAS.....
Yes get signed off but perhaps get it for work related stress/'bullying' by management as she sounds appalling. Her behaviour could also potentially be pregnancy discrimination, as the poor way she is treating you seems linked to you being pregnant, which is illegal.
Keep notes of her treatment of you. If she tries to contact you on sick leave, contact HR or put a complaint in.

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