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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the magic of small children at Christmas is a load of old bollocks

135 replies

Pavementworrier · 25/12/2025 21:05

Adult Christmas is where it's at

OP posts:
Pavementworrier · 25/12/2025 22:26

LoudSnoringDog · 25/12/2025 22:25

Completely agree. We have had a lovely two days. Ds1 (25), ds2 (22) and dd1(12). Managed to go out for a lovely meal and drinks yesterday and today was a very chilled day of eating food and watching films. No one was up at 5am looking to see if Santa had been. It’s been nice to just have some quality time with the kids

The dream

OP posts:
ThereWillBeReaperCushionsSoBeWarned · 25/12/2025 22:28

Sleighrides · 25/12/2025 22:18

Again, I didn't say you couldn't, I was just answering a question. OP didn't say it was different, she said it was better, and if you don't enjoy Christmas with small children then those things will be better/more enjoyable when they're grown up, or partially grown up at least.

OP probably needs to answer themselves as they are the one that said it.

It seems like this is just yet another anti child/ parenting thread which seem to have popped up more in the last couple of years. I wonder why they started appearing a lot more then?

Sleighrides · 25/12/2025 22:29

ThereWillBeReaperCushionsSoBeWarned · 25/12/2025 22:28

OP probably needs to answer themselves as they are the one that said it.

It seems like this is just yet another anti child/ parenting thread which seem to have popped up more in the last couple of years. I wonder why they started appearing a lot more then?

I don't think it's anti parenting to say you enjoy some stages over others. On lots of threads people mention they prefer parenting babies, toddlers, 10 year olds etc and on this thread some people are saying they prefer Christmas now the kids are teens or adults, not anti parenting, just a preference on the parenting stage.

Wynter25 · 25/12/2025 22:33

Yabu

NoAprilFool · 25/12/2025 22:35

FreebieWallopFridge · 25/12/2025 21:48

Mine are teens now. This version of Christmas is so much lovelier in many, many ways. No desire to go back to those days at all.
But the memories of them when small are something really very special.

Couldn’t have said it better. It was lovely, no regrets. It’s just as joyful now but less exhausting.

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 25/12/2025 22:37

I loved the Christmas magic as a child, and yes, I did believe in it.

Experiencing Christmas as an adult is very dull by comparison. I like to to see the kids enjoying it, but after forty-something Christmases, there's no excitement for me.

MCF86 · 25/12/2025 22:38

EvolvedAlready · 25/12/2025 21:15

So your kids didn’t ever believe in Santa. Sheesh.

Shit for your kids and shit for your kids friends and their parents who are trying their best and your kids are told not to believe. It’s a bit lazy!

bollocks, I can't remember a time I believed - I told my mum how impossible it was because I thought she believed, so that wasn't her doing either.
Christmas still felt magical and FC was just fun make believe, so I never felt the need to correct anyone I just assumed they were playing and they assumed I wasn't 🤷🏼‍♀️

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 25/12/2025 22:44

I realised that Father Christmas couldn't have fit down our chimney, but a TV programme had addressed that issue and told us he sometimes got in using magic.

As for how he got around the world in a single night, I assumed he had a LOT of elves helping him!

Thoseslippers · 25/12/2025 22:44

I think adult christmas seems more fun when you are struggling through the hard parts of Christmas with kids... but I've had some really shit Christmases alone as an adult
And for me nothing has ever beaten the joy of seeing young kids who really believe in santa, opening their presents. When they are toddlers its absolute adorable. I have a 20 month old at the moment and she was an absolute delight all day. Super super cute. She absolutely loved it all. She was trying to sing all the christmas songs with her random baby words. Absolutely gorgeous.
There were stressful bits with screaming and whining too.. and when out for great christmas day walk I did see all the adults without young kids laughing and being merry in the local pub.. and I did briefly think 'i wish I was in there with nothing to worry about but getting wasted and eating food someone else cooked.. with no ones needs to think of but my own' and im sure when that time comes ill enjoy it. When my kids are adults and they go to their partners for christmas and its just me and DH.. yeah I'll enjoy it!
But still i dont think anything beats a toddlers joyous face opening a badly wrapped ball of whatever!! That's peak christmas for me

Fiftyandme · 25/12/2025 22:46

Adults Christmas is the total pits. Give me little kids with their faces lighting up any day.

UneAnneeSansLumiere · 25/12/2025 22:49

YANBU, though I'm not the person to ask as I think everything is better without children lol.

JLou08 · 25/12/2025 22:49

I think it's magical with little ones.
Take away the santa and the presents under the tree and it leaves things you could do on any holiday, or even just at the weekend.

ThereWillBeReaperCushionsSoBeWarned · 25/12/2025 22:53

Sleighrides · 25/12/2025 22:29

I don't think it's anti parenting to say you enjoy some stages over others. On lots of threads people mention they prefer parenting babies, toddlers, 10 year olds etc and on this thread some people are saying they prefer Christmas now the kids are teens or adults, not anti parenting, just a preference on the parenting stage.

Edited

I thought it was, and after checking out some of OPs other posts, I wasn’t wrong.

Sleighrides · 25/12/2025 22:56

ThereWillBeReaperCushionsSoBeWarned · 25/12/2025 22:53

I thought it was, and after checking out some of OPs other posts, I wasn’t wrong.

I don't know how you see that, what are the other posts?

750ml · 25/12/2025 22:58

MY kids are now 16 and 18 and Christmasses are so much more enjoyable that when they were small.

Tulipsriver · 25/12/2025 23:01

I loved Christmas before having children but it's 100% better with them!

It's definitely less relaxing but it's so magical watching them get excited.

namechangetheworld · 25/12/2025 23:03

YABU sorry, children make it so much more joyful because they find everything SO exciting. Taking a walk to see the Christmas lights, doing (terrible) Christmas baking, sprinkling food for the reindeer, making awful decorations. Not looking forward to mine becoming grumpy teens because they're currently at such a nice age and it's lovely to experience it all alongside them.

My DP never bothered with Father Christmas, or stockings, or anything really child related other than presents. Christmas was always a fairly joyless affair. I always remember feeling so sad and confused when my Uncle asked me what I had written in my letter to Santa, and wondering why he visited other children and not me. Distinctly remember laying in bed when I was about 8 and listening out for the sleigh bells, and wondering if he would come!

I didn't really enjoy Christmas at all before the DC came along.

Kizmet1 · 25/12/2025 23:06

I loved seeing my very nearly 3yo DD so excited this morning, and when we went for a walk with her new scooter she looked up to the sky and called: "THANK YOU FOR MY SCOOTER, SANTA! I LOVE IT!" which was very cute. I'd been on the fence about whether to go with the Santa thing, but nursery have been very big on it so we've gone with talk of 'the legend of Santa is...' as a sort of middle ground.
It's been fabulous today really. We've had so much fun.
But there has also been a lot of chaos! 😂
Adult Christmas is great too!

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 25/12/2025 23:06

It is magical but is even more magical when you look back on those years. It was hard work and tiring but worth it.

Sarah2891 · 25/12/2025 23:06

JLou08 · 25/12/2025 22:49

I think it's magical with little ones.
Take away the santa and the presents under the tree and it leaves things you could do on any holiday, or even just at the weekend.

You don't have to take away presents under the tree.

Gretafamily · 25/12/2025 23:08

EvolvedAlready · 25/12/2025 21:15

So your kids didn’t ever believe in Santa. Sheesh.

Shit for your kids and shit for your kids friends and their parents who are trying their best and your kids are told not to believe. It’s a bit lazy!

I never believed in Farther Christmas ever. My mum is totally against lying so we never done it. My childhood Christmas’s were amazing, I can’t believe they could be better. I am now a huge Christmas fan as an adult. So not believing in Santa definitely does not ruin Christmas or make it less magical.

PollyBell · 25/12/2025 23:19

I have had all very different types of Christmas Days all just as good, if you are not enjoying it either you or the people around you must be very boring

BauhausOfEliott · 25/12/2025 23:26

Needmorelego · 25/12/2025 21:35

What exactly does "adult Christmas" involve?

Whatever you want it to. That’s the whole point - you don’t have to fit round kids or do/eat/watch/play ‘family-friendly’ things.

For me, an adult Christmas entails a lie-in, ideally with a morning shag, light breakfast around 10am if we fancy it, accompanied by champagne, then we’ll open presents, then more drinks and nibbles/canapes while I make dinner. If I do a starter it’s usually something like ceviche or shellfish and we usually have a very boozy dessert.

After dinner we chill for a bit, maybe Facetime family, pout our feet up and watch something grown-up, then in the evening we graze ok leftovers, drink cocktails, play the sort of board game or quiz that probably wouldn’t work for a mixed age group. No set meal times, no chaos, no having to tidy up toys etc, no tantrums or kids getting over tired or anything like that. Nobody has to behave responsibly or keep an eye on anyone, nobody has to move candles or glasses to a safe height, Last thing at night after we’ve played games while grazing and knocking back Bailey’s and single malts, we’ll probably watch or listen to a really scary ghost story before we go to bed.

catontheironingboard · 25/12/2025 23:27

I really enjoyed it but gosh, those Christmasses were tiring. Though we seemed to have more energy to get everything organised and happening for DD’s sake! Now, we have a more relaxed Christmas (she’s 13), but the whole thing and the house doesn’t get sorted to quite the standard it used to and maybe it’s made us a bit lazy.

However, not being woken up until 9-ish, and then having a lazy coffee and cinnamon buns whilst DD chats with her friends about her presents, then an afternoon watching nice (and not kiddy) Christmas films, is far more relaxing than being woken up at 6am and being constantly on the go sorting out kid food and toys all day!

Thinking back, actually my favourite Christmasses with DD were actually when she was pre-school — say younger than 4, and was far less interested in presents and Santa than just in the lights and the spectacle of it all. She’d get a stocking with maybe a light up bath duck and a couple of small toys, plus maybe something like a wheelybug or a wooden train set as a main present, but there were no expectations, and she just loved to be taken out for a walk around the estate to see the lit-up houses.

The huge build-up that primary schools get them into before Christmas is lovely in many ways, but it does generate a huge amount of expectation and overstimulation. Those first Christmasses when DD was a toddler and was happy with anything were actually amazingly lovely in comparison.

BauhausOfEliott · 25/12/2025 23:30

Gretafamily · 25/12/2025 23:08

I never believed in Farther Christmas ever. My mum is totally against lying so we never done it. My childhood Christmas’s were amazing, I can’t believe they could be better. I am now a huge Christmas fan as an adult. So not believing in Santa definitely does not ruin Christmas or make it less magical.

Same. My parents did keep up the pretence of Father Christmas but I never actually believed it was real. I loved playing along with it all and hanging up my stocking and I loved my childhood Christmases. So many happy memories and it definitely felt magical.

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