That Christmas has a sad quality to it ?

[Devilsspeckywhore]

I've had a fine but bit of a dull day. It's just me and teenage DC, they had their presents earlier then we had a nice roast a little while ago. In their room, I'm in the living room having a little drink. I keep getting chocked up and I don't know why. Just now I was listening to music and randomly thought about women and children today living with abusive men, and started crying.

I agree OP. There must be so many people who dread the day for many reasons.
Sending hugs 💐

Are you feeling lonely, OP? This is my first time being single during the holidays. Im with my family but they're doing their own thing like your kids and I'm just keeping myself busy. But I really wish I had someone to cuddle with today. I'm with you in your sadness. Nov/Dec have been especially hard on me.

I think it has an emotional, nostalgic element to it definitely. I think it highlights loss and absence (different things).

I don't know really, I have been single several years so it isn't new to me. We spent Xmas Eve with my mother and sibling. I stopped speaking to my other sibling a few months ago. I think I'm just feeling like I wanted it to be special today but it's just been ok and sort of dull. But that's to be expected, without little ones. I have been finding myself thinking about a guy I knew in my twenties, though. Just wondering what he is doing and how he is

Can you ask your kids if they want to go do something special with you? My fam would say no so I won't even try, but something like going to go see Christmas lights, or walking downtown and looking at the decorations sounds like a fun, quiet, way to make the day not as dull. I might go do that later with my dogs actually 😅

You see, Christmas is a religious festival with a huge amount of trappings built onto it. Christians believe it's a joyful event, the birth of their savior, but it's but even their most important feast day. There has been layers and layers of expectations built on top of this date that's become totally out of hand. War, poverty, pain, loss, illness is not wiped out by a Christmas tree and some plum pudding. I really wish we could have a simpler day to appreciate what we have without the pressure on everyone to feel happy, joyous, excessively buy, consume etc. The amount of tat bought and is destined for landfill is mind boggling. We taxes on our fuels and carbon emissions, etc, but no restraints on mindless consumerism which exploits workers in poorer countries and creates mountains of waste. We have lost the plot.

I actually think Christmas can be awful as s parent eg I woke 2 DC up at 3am filling stockkngs, one was still awake.Me and DH spent several hours wrapping presents that were opened in 20 minutes. All the work for an expression of happiness and gratitude that might not come.

Everyone else is always having a much better or a much worse Christmas so you feel both jealous and guilty.

I just don't think 1 day can compensate for 2 months of endless hype and commercialisation.

So... enjoy the rest, the peace and quiet or the hustle and hustle. Savour the little moments. Enjoy being with the people you love. Have fun eating and drinking delicious festive treats.

There is always magic and joy in every day.

Happy Christmas everyone x

Definitely. I think about my Granny and Grandad and Mum and Dad and the fun, warmth and excitement of childhood Christmases. I'm grateful to be able to look back on these times but feel the loss today.

Yes I feel the same. It puts a huge spotlight on those with dysfunctional families, illness, bereavement, marriages or relationships falling apart.

on the other hand it can be so magical, when you’re falling in love, or in love, have a great family, everyone is alive and healthy. Sometimes the pendulum swings, not in our favour. It’s painful when you realise you’ve fallen out of love or if your partner has left you for example.

I will ask them

They said no

My parents always remind me of the year I woke at 1am. No idea why my parents left my sack of presents in my bedroom and not downstairs, but Santa (aka my dad) woke me up coming in. I remember lying there frozen really believing i’d witnessed the magic of santa!). My parents hadn’t even been to bed! Must have been the mid 1980’s. I always put my kids presents in the living room!

Yes I think it really can have a sad quality to it.

It can be a bit sad when your kids are older and no longer believe so they’re not as excited anymore and are more interested in maintaining their snap streak than getting involved.. And it is a massive amount of work for one day. I had a good day but not sure it was worth the number of hours and amount of “mental load” spent prepping for it.

Yeah I think that's partly what it is just not having little ones all excited

When you're single and kids getting older you need a new normal. Next year book a meal out. Somewhere you can walk to. Maybe you're getting a calling to get involved with a charity and be active that way on xmas day. Also. Pets are amazing if you're a bit low. X

We had a lovely day yesterday, kids got the presents they wanted, nobody argued, Christmas dinner with extended family, a fun, relaxed day. My husband isn't an immature abusive prick.

Then I read a few threads on here about abusive partners or husbands ruining the day, and children crying and begging the fighting to stop and it's horrible to read. I very ignorantly didn't think of that yesterday during our Christmas.

No, having left a miserable situation, I think of Christmas with absolutely joy. Ds & I have two weeks holiday, and complete freedom to enjoy each others' company. Hard to beat 😊