Am i being unreasonable about Christmas?

[Writersblok]

Two weeks ago, DH came down with manflu. This he still has according to how lazy he is feeling each day now, despite it being a slight sniffle and a slight cough. I recently had a complete pelvic exenteration , so im still in a wheelchair unable to walk, or indeed get into the kitchen in a wheelchair, and went down with pleurisy and flu on Monday. DH deemed himself “really ill” today, despite looking/sounding fine. And instead of cooking the simple vegan option I’d made for lunch….produced cheese, biscuits and ……Brussels sprouts. - WHY ?. When asked why , he replied “because the sprouts were there”. Incedentally, DH is a spoilt, often selfish only child. Am I being unreasonable not to take this into account , on Christmas Day, in a wheelchair, with flu and pleurisy ?

currently unsure whether I want to laugh or cry……….

What? Take into account he’s a spoiled man child? No, wheelchair, pleurisy or whatever you shouldn’t accept lazy, indulgent behaviour from your partner.

Why are you married to this baby ?

I had cancer two years ago, and I’ve got so little self esteem (and am now post surgical recovering, incontinent , with a stoma), that I guess I think no one else would want me. Yes, I’ve got a psychologist, yes, I’m married to a selfish controlling man. I no longer know how to free myself

So not even an option you could eat?

I think no one else would want me.

You don't need anyone else. Does he add anything of value to your life?

Mow the fucker down with your wheelchair..

He is normally fairly caring. We have a lot in common, and latterly he’s become my carer whilst I recovery. I’m so esteemless since cancer that I wonder what I can offer anymore….and in truth, I know if I try and tackle his selfishness, he’ll explode, turn the tables on me, and then start blaming me being thoughtless, selfish, and then start gaslighting me ( he sounds less attractive with each post doesn’t he?) . I know I should walk, but now I’m physically incapable of that, and feel empty, and worthless 😢

I wish.

You’re unreasonable to bring being ‘an only child’ into it… but the rest sounds fair enough

I think dominos are delivering today.

i’m disabled - can walk a few steps - and I now live on my own after divorcing my husband.

i don’t need to worry about what I can offer a man because I have no interest in getting involved with one.

me, my cats and my adult kids are absolutely a ok and my life is much better without him,

I’ll admit the transition was not fun

Mmmmm. Sadly we have no kids. My family all live 200 miles away. I grew up as a people pleasing, controlled child. I have continued this pattern in adulthood. I’ve had a lot of therapy, and was doing well until I got cancer two years ago. Now I feel back to square one. I’m on huge doses of antidepressants, I’m so unhappy. I don’t know how to break the chain…..

I’d rather be alone forever more than with a selfish, uncaring man as he.

Easy to say when you maybe didn’t grow up in an abusive parental situation which influences the choices you made later. I wish it was that simple