Neighbours complaining about noisy dc in garden

[Xmasinthegarden]

We got the dc (8 and 5) a lot of presents for the garden (mud kitchen , outdoor toys, football/goals basketball hoop etc) they both have AuDHD and need to let off steam in the fresh air.

They were in the garden 10-1. Then back out again after lunch 230-430.

We had had a text from the neighbours at 115pm saying ‘we have guests today and would appreciate a little less noise from the garden thanks’ which I ignored but when the dc went back out at 230pm we had them knocking and telling us that they have family there and some are quite elderly and want peace and quiet and their niece has a newborn and all the commotion from our garden is very irritating as they are trying to relax in their conservatory. I said that the dc were not being that noisy and they wouldn’t be out there past 430 anyway. They said if this happens again tomorrow they will file a ‘noise complaint’ and may call the police!

The dc were just playing, not screaming or fighting. Just running about. Some ball bouncing yes but nothing terrible. They play out pretty much every day and this hasn’t been an issue before ? The neighbours moved in Feb this year so obviously it’s their first Xmas here but they would have known our dc play out a lot ?

They have text now with a ‘gentle reminder - tomorrow needs to be a calm peaceful day. Thanks for your cooperation’ wtf !!!

AIBU to ignore this ? We are home in the morning them leaving at 1230 to see my parents so if the dc play in the garden it wont be for that long just 2/3 hours in the morning.

What absolute misers. We back onto a park so I can hear kids playing most of the time if I’m in the garden. It makes me smile to hear them - they should be outside letting off steam!

Repeated ball bouncing for hours is hell on earth to listen to. I wouldn't allow my child to do it. My previous neighbour had a punch ball in the garden. I recorded it and played it back through my dd's guitar amp. Fucking awful noise. And the musical ones the other side, drum kit, recorder, piano with the windows open. I am all for kids having fresh air and being outside, but parents have to be conscious of bloody anti-social noise. Screaming and continual ball bouncing is really not acceptable in a built up area.

Your garden is fenced or walled in I presume?

so you are sayjng that your kids were gently kicking a ball into a net and that when they threw the ball up to the hoop it wasnt against the house?

I did initially think YANBU but actually, in retrospect you are. They cant do anything about it though, they just got a shit deal.
Everyone is entitled to be in their gardens but generally it would ne nice of we were all a lot more pleasant and considerate to our neighbours.

Not unreasonable to have kids playing out but tbh I would also find 5 hours of loud noise if it’s with equipment really fecking annoying.

Yep, this

Your neighbours have moved to the wrong house if they want a quiet existence. Just ignore. I would be very surprised if the police respond at all, if they are stupid enough to call them.

Well they may react with noise of their own which may be unpleasant for you.

No it’s only a little basketball hoop as they aren’t tall and the ball was just bouncing on the paving

I’d put money on the issue being the noise of the ball.

A neighbour’s kid used to play with their football out in the road - I guess they didn’t want them to mess up their ample-sized garden - and would kick it repeatedly against their own fence for hours.

Similar issue when some people opposite got a basketball hoop and some days, especially in the summer, all day you’d hear the thud thud thud smash of a basketball being dribbled and shot through the hoop.

We never complained but honestly the noise drove me crazy and I’d have to put noise cancelling headphones in to block it out. I believe other neighbours did complain in both instances, though!

When ours were old enough we got a goal for the garden, positioned it so that a ball being kicked into it wouldn’t also get hit against a fence, and thankfully with good aiming we rarely heard the ball hit the fence. We refused to get them a basketball hoop!!!

Something pertinent to mention is that I’ve often found people who are loud just don’t realise exactly how loud they are. Normal noise for them is often already too noisy for quieter people/households, and it would be nice, for a change, if the louder people could quieten down rather than the quieter/noise-sensitive ones always having to go out/wear earplugs or noise cancelling headphones and be able to just exist without the constant noise from all sources. Also, your children’s disabilities may conflict with the disabilities of others, especially with regards sensory seeking versus sensory avoidance.

Ideally, we would live in a detached home away from other people, but that’s not an affordable option in our area. So we have to live in a built-up area with attached neighbours and try not to be sent mad with sensory overwhelm that comes with just existing in such a neighbourhood. If our neighbours had chosen today of all days to be really noisy, it would have sent most if not all of us into meltdown, as Christmas Day alone is already very difficult for our PDA ASDer despite doing everything within our own power to make the day as accessible as possible.

Maybe your neighbours have their own disabilities with which they need to cope and too much additional noise on an already overstimulating day was just too much for them, and whilst dysregulated they didn’t communicate this in the best way?!

Yep, ignore. Your children can spend as much time in their own garden as they and you damn well please. It sounds like reasonable hours and reasonable noise. The fact that some people have taken it upon themselves to interpret playing with a ball as incessant bouncing is irrelevant.

Probably the same miserable sods who complain about children on screens and never being outside any more.

@neilyoungismyhero - YABU for being reasonable on a thread of this nature 😉

Yes it could have been the ball, I’ve ordered sponge ones in case as that won’t make a difference to dc at all as I can’t just stop
them playing with their new toys but I can change the ball type . As long as they still get the fresh air and exercise!

There's actually 29%

I would explain what you are doing and why and ask if there is anything you can do to reduce annoyance....meet them maybe half way in the interests of good neighbourly vibes.

If our neighbours had chosen today of all days to be really noisy, it would have sent most if not all of us into meltdown, as Christmas Day alone is already very difficult for our PDA ASDer despite doing everything within our own power to make the day as accessible as possible.
Maybe your neighbours have their own disabilities with which they need to cope and too much additional noise on an already overstimulating day was just too much for them, and whilst dysregulated they didn’t communicate this in the best way?!
This is very true.

As indeed there are consequences for those the subject of the complaint/dispute, upheld or otherwise

You could tomorrow though. In consideration of the needs at your neighbours guests at the moment. The first time they've ever asked for consideration according to you. Just do the mud kitchen and the water painting.

So the need for silence trumps need to regulate with activity?

You really need to remove the basketball and bring them to a court to play rather than your garden. Basketballs are noisy. Other than that, kids are entitled to be outside.

No one is asking for silence. But at the same time the OPs children shouldn't be making so much noise that they're disturbing the neighbours

Eh? That poster is simply commenting on her experience of someone similar to the OP. Something quite germane to the thread. She's not asking for tips on how to make marzipan

My neighbour's kid has a basketball hoop. The continuous thud, thud, thud of the ball on the patio makes me fantasise of ways I can destroy the fucking thing. It was so bad in the summer I didn't sit in the garden when he was about because I knew it would start up.

@Xmasinthegarden Your young children were playing outside in December for 5 hours?? Please tell me you're in Australia!

Being entitled doesn't stop at having kids.