Neighbours complaining about noisy dc in garden

[Xmasinthegarden]

We got the dc (8 and 5) a lot of presents for the garden (mud kitchen , outdoor toys, football/goals basketball hoop etc) they both have AuDHD and need to let off steam in the fresh air.

They were in the garden 10-1. Then back out again after lunch 230-430.

We had had a text from the neighbours at 115pm saying ‘we have guests today and would appreciate a little less noise from the garden thanks’ which I ignored but when the dc went back out at 230pm we had them knocking and telling us that they have family there and some are quite elderly and want peace and quiet and their niece has a newborn and all the commotion from our garden is very irritating as they are trying to relax in their conservatory. I said that the dc were not being that noisy and they wouldn’t be out there past 430 anyway. They said if this happens again tomorrow they will file a ‘noise complaint’ and may call the police!

The dc were just playing, not screaming or fighting. Just running about. Some ball bouncing yes but nothing terrible. They play out pretty much every day and this hasn’t been an issue before ? The neighbours moved in Feb this year so obviously it’s their first Xmas here but they would have known our dc play out a lot ?

They have text now with a ‘gentle reminder - tomorrow needs to be a calm peaceful day. Thanks for your cooperation’ wtf !!!

AIBU to ignore this ? We are home in the morning them leaving at 1230 to see my parents so if the dc play in the garden it wont be for that long just 2/3 hours in the morning.

well in the same way people ar expecting ops sc to stay inside and remain silent?

What nonsense! 😯

So long as it's after 7am and before 11pm they are entitled to use their garden as they please.

@Xmasinthegarden just ignore them. The police won't be interested. If they persist , set up some hifi and play rock music until exactly 10pm. See how they like that.

If the neighbours can hear noise from OPs garden I would imagine it would be just as loud in OPs house.

OP if the ball is the issue you can get sponge balls, they come in various sizes.

This. My NDN has a dog that barks all the time and it’s destroyed my enjoyment of my home and garden. I actively avoid going outside now as I can’t stand it (I probably am ND too not that anyone would know or care as they have never thought twice about me)

It doesn’t matter what the noise is. It’s the fact it’s prolonged and invasive.

OP and my NDN have the same attitude though…who cares as long as we are okay.

It’s reality and the truth hun, sometimes the truth is hard to hear x

She was so do read the post and updates

and then read yours - equating kids being in their own garden all day as feral!!!

how disgraceful your POV is

I think, you and your kids can do whatever you bloody like in your own garden! Neighbours dont really have a right to tell you to not be in your garden, this is the UK its crammed and crammed with ppl they need to accept that! Either get a big old detatched with land or move to austrailia or the states. Also its winter why are they entertaining elderly relatives in their garden??

Really shocked by some of these responses.

So many posts about kids stuck on screens etc. now when a poster explains her kids are outside being active she gets a grilling?

It sounds like normal kid play. What’s the point in gardens if you can’t use them? I can totally understand if it’s constant, if it’s screaming or abuse etc. but it’s not.

OP it sounds lovely what you’ve done for them and I can imagine if they are not having time outside playing then their behaviour would be noisier inside?? More upset, up all night?

Amazing that you’ve reduced meds too - well done. It seems their sensory needs are met and they are regulated. This is not easy.

For posters who are less aware - having a safe and familiar space for autistic people can be super regulating. The park is an unpredictable place and so demands are higher, transitions can’t be planned so well and dogs (or the thought of them) will cause distress. Therefore going to the park is not regulating for these kids. It’s likely they’d still need to regulate in garden once they’re home and probably take longer!!

The neighbours don’t seem to have minded up until now and perhaps have an ideal Christmas in mind. Do they have kids/grandchildren?

OP I’d ignore the messages - not worth arguing about.

That genuinely doesn't make sense. The neighbours are complaining about the noise. Why would OP playing loud music be "seeing how they like it?"

I am immensely understanding of the issue the OP is facing and tbh I.dont necessarily think she is being unreasonable. Who is being unreasonable are the countless posters who are role playing revenge against neighbours who a) have not complained over summer and b) sent a gentle request after 3 hours of (in their view noise) which the OP didn't acknowledge and then had 2 hours of noise later in the day.

It is perfectly OK to support the OP without dreaming up schemes to punish the neighbours for hoping to enjoy Christmas

The sponge ball idea is actually a good one going forwards I’m going to order a couple on Amazon so Thankyou to those who suggested that

Whats wrong with beach?

As your children were out there all summer and the neighbours never complained I'd imagine one of their guests is really struggling with the noise.

Therefore I'd agree to keep them in tomorrow. But they would be using the garden the rest of the Time.

I agree with you that constant dog barking really sucks, they must be bad dog owners 😒

Maybe it's really really vital to the elderly visitors not to have to listen to the sound of a ball bouncing for five hours straight. That repetitive, arrhythmic thud-thud-thud can be hard to take.

I think you should let the neighbours know that the kids wont be out tomorrow after 12, and yoi will tru to keep the noise down. I know you dont have to, I know the kids are allowed to play in their own garden. But when they hear them out in the morning they will be thinking FFS we will have this noise on and off till 4:30 and feel agitated, so knowing they wont will hopefully help them feel less annoyed and able to relax in the afternoon.

I would also encourage the kids to play with the new mud kitchen and less noisy stuff for tomorrow, and explain to them that the neighbour has a baby visiting and the ball noise are upsetting them.

As they havent complained before now I would try to be accommodating for the day.

I haven’t voted as only you will know how noisy your DC were and whether you’re BU. I do think that before 10am on Boxing Day is quite inconsiderate though given that it’s a public holiday and your neighbours (not just the ones who complained) might be looking forward to a long lie. I’m aware several PP have quoted the 7am rule, however there’s rules and there’s being a considerate neighbour.

Most ppl dont want to spend boxing day at the beach!

My ndn has a dog that barks all the time. And specifically barks at ME if I am in the garden - particularly if I am weeding, say, near the hedge.

But I just live with it. It doesn't "spoil my enjoyment of my garden", it's an irritation, no more.

If you really find neighbours noises so unbearable then buy a house that is further away from the neighbours.

Police will laugh at them

generally yanbu - i’m really surprised that this bothers them today of all days though cos presumably windows would be closed and if they have double glazing your kids would have to be really loud for them to hear, surely

this should be far more bothersome in summer surely. Eg if neighbours are trying to enjoy their gardens it would piss me off it they were out all day every day that said I think I’d just need to put up with it

YANBU.

As is often the case on threads, people turn to hyperbole and also change what’s been said.

My AuDHD really struggles going to the park and it has the opposite effect to playing in the garden, with him often getting overwhelmed and dysregulated.

Kids playing in their garden with new toys on Christmas Day is joyful and anyone who begrudges that seems quite grumpy to me.

A ball bouncing for 5 hours straight?

If you read back the OP has told us what the kids were doing out there and it wasn't bouncing a ball for 5 hours straight. Stop exaggerating and fabricating events for more impact.
I am so sick of people who put their own spin on things for effect. It's rife on here.

I’m assuming it’s because they said they were using the conservatory that they could hear the dc, they have 2 reception rooms and a dining room so if was that bad for them they had other options I feel ?

Well no. But at the same time they don't need to make so much noise that the neighbours complain

Growing up as a Canadian kid we would go out all day in minus degree weather in the winter (fully dressed in snow gear) with snow on the ground and go tobogganing, ice skating, building snow forts etc.

Hardy? This is a passive aggressive comment…..it’s not that cold out.

Every kid I know did this and it was the best ever. The OP’s kids were fine. In Nordic countries they leave babies in prams outside in the winter cold.