I know lABU but why is there a general presumption nothing catastrophic has happened to someone which renders Xmas anything but happy or great or whatever else people wish you. Even people who know what's happened say these things.
In my case my adult DS took his own life in July this year, driven to it mainly by being denied access to his DC and coercive control and abuse by his wife for years . All because he'd had enough and wanted out and so she weaponised the children and the house etc, to attempt to give him no choice but to go back.
This Xmas was much dreaded, we just aren't doing it.
Requested no cards/presents etc and we have no decs up.
We chose this as the least distressing way to get through it for us.
We have had 'Have the best Xmas ever' handwritten on a card from a very close friend, who said she felt she couldn't not send one. Fair enough but why write that FFS.
Been told we are 'spoiling it for everyone else' and should make the effort' by a close family member (we don't generally share Xmas with them anyway)
Wrt strangers, l have obviously been wished a Happy Xmas by a lot of shop staff and managed to reply with a civil 'thank you' and 'you too' even though it brought a lump to my throat every time. This wasn't said with enough enthusiasm for a woman behind us in the queue who commented 'Bahumbug!' in a sarky voice to the member of staff whilst nodding towards us ( l overheard and turned around saw her do this so definitely about me) On that occasion l did call her out and told her we'd recently lost our son in horrible circumstances ,so was it ok with her to not be feeling the Xmas spirit. She apologised and was mortified tbf, but do l care ? Not a bit, she probably won't do that again, so have possibly done someone a favour down the line .
But anyway Xmas is bloody hard for many people , why don't some people even think of that? Ironically I used to always share a post to that effect amongst friends and family in case any were finding it hard.