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Grief at Christmas

36 replies

sellotapechicken · 25/12/2025 09:20

Sending everyone gentle hugs and love if you’ve lost someone and are feeling it.

Grief is like glitter. In the beginning, it's everywhere.. on your hands, in your hair, scattered across every corner of your life. You try to clean it up, to restore some sense of order. And for a while, it seems like you've succeeded. But then, one day, you move a sofa or open a forgotten drawer, and there it is again. A tiny sparkle that catches the light and reminds you of what you lost.
It doesn't go away completely. It settles, becomes quieter, less overwhelming. You learn to live with it, to carry it gently. And years later, when you find a bit of that glitter tucked behind a shelf, you might smile. Maybe even laugh. Because it reminds you of love, of connection, of someone who mattered deeply.
Eventually, something will catch your eye.. a photo, a favorite song, a familiar scent, and instead of pain, you'll feel warmth. That's the quiet truth about grief. It stays with you, but it changes. It becomes a part of your story, a soft echo of the love that never really left.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 25/12/2025 09:23

💝

Muchtoomuchtodo · 25/12/2025 09:24

30 years on since dad died and I’m blindsided by grief this year.

Hugs to everyone who’s struggling xx

AlexandraJJ · 25/12/2025 09:39

And sending love to you too. I lost the love of my life this August. It was quick. I’ve come to the canaries on my own this Xmas and the house echoed too much without him. I was listening to a pianist in the hotel last night who was playing classical then love songs. He played Amazing Grace with such a tender ferocity it took me a while to realise tears were streaming down my face. Everything is so poignant these days and you’re right about it settling within. Sending my love to all who are hurting at the empty chair at the table 🥺❤️

JohnnyRememberMe · 25/12/2025 09:48

Thank you.

Rosamunday · 25/12/2025 09:49

My sister died on Christmas Day 15 years ago. My DH died just before last Christmas. I’m on my own right now. 😢

Berie · 25/12/2025 09:51

At 18 I thought when you were dead you’re dead - nothing. I smiled politely if someone said “I saw a robin and throught “that’s my mother” - because although I didn’t aT all agree with them I just thought discretion was the better part of valour!

However - since the age of 25 I’ve had too many positive signs of support from too many different people who’ve passed to not believe in the afterlife !!

so I believe - as close to 100% as you can get that the people who’ve passed that we loved are still supporting us - just from a different place now ❤️

So let’s strive for our goals - and along the way, perhaps when we’re least expecting it - we’ll experience their subtle signs of love and support. ❤️

LunaTheCat · 25/12/2025 09:54

Oh my that is wonderful.. and so true. Wishing you peace at this time.

CountingQuiche · 25/12/2025 09:54

That's lovely OP. Sending love to everyone who is navigating grief this Christmas.

Bikergran · 25/12/2025 09:57

What a perfect analogy. Thank you.

Bikergran · 25/12/2025 10:00

Muchtoomuchtodo · 25/12/2025 09:24

30 years on since dad died and I’m blindsided by grief this year.

Hugs to everyone who’s struggling xx

12 and 15 years since my parents went, and missing them so much this Christmas it hurts physically, and missing the huge family Christmases we used to have.

Freesiapleaser · 25/12/2025 10:02

Oh that's lovely and just what I needed to hear this Christmas. X

Cherrysoup · 25/12/2025 10:20

❤️ to all who are missing someone today. My Dh was late home this morning due to a tragic incident with a small child. I can’t imagine the pain for the parents.

Frenchfemme · 25/12/2025 10:23

💔 Absent friends 💔

WhattheFudgeareyouonabout · 25/12/2025 10:26

I needed this today. Thank you and merry Christmas x

Whiskyfromsmallglasses · 25/12/2025 10:27

Oh that made me well up! I lost my dad on Monday

madameimadam · 25/12/2025 10:32

Thank you for this. I lost Mum in 2022 and Dad last month. It’s still very painful and raw right now. Dad loved Christmas and I keep thinking that he and we had no idea last year was to be his final one.

Much love to you all. And I’m so sorry @Whiskyfromsmallglasses Strength and love to you

Wingingit73 · 25/12/2025 10:37

What a perfect analogy. Lots of love x

Wingingit73 · 25/12/2025 10:37

What a perfect analogy. Lots of love x

Iamafaithfull · 25/12/2025 10:45

That’s lovely OP .
I think we all have to do what brings us comfort today . Christmas is in some ways - just another day , but one where there is a lot of pressure to have the perfect family Christmas . Which sadly isn’t possible for everyone .

Take care everyone xxx

Talkingtomyhouseplants · 25/12/2025 10:48

I don’t think I ever gave enough credit to my dear mum who lost both her parents before she was my age now (33). She is now late 60s and has had most of her life without them. None of her children knew their maternal grandparents and I think that makes her sad. I am wearing her mother’s ring today with pride.

Happy Christmas

Iamafaithfull · 25/12/2025 10:49

Rosamunday · 25/12/2025 09:49

My sister died on Christmas Day 15 years ago. My DH died just before last Christmas. I’m on my own right now. 😢

So sorry for your losses Rosamundy . That is tough .
Also thinking of you and others that are alone today x

FletchFan · 25/12/2025 12:07

I'm really feeling it. I lost a good friend in the summer. Not even family but still someone who felt like family and helped me through some personal challenges.

It's the first Christmas I've felt anything like this.

CandiedPrincess · 25/12/2025 12:26

My mum died on Christmas night last year. I'm totally at peace with it; it was her time to go. I will raise a glass.

katgab · 25/12/2025 12:40

I lost my dad around Christmas time 26 years ago and my mum earlier this year. The last few years of my mums life were awful for her and she made my life a misery with it. In a sense it came as a relief as the last months and years were full of what I now know is anticipatory grief. I did look at the gifts under the tree last night and realised they were only from our little family as there’s no one else left which felt sad but earlier in the week I remembered the Christmas cake mum made every Christmas (not for years as she wasn’t up to it) from her home country. How I loved that cake, I could eat a whole lot of that in one go! Bitter sweet but a happier memory than the trauma of the last few years.

That glitter analogy rang true for me.

For all those grieving out there I wish you a peaceful day and season.

Lastknownaddress · 25/12/2025 12:42

DF died earlier this year, but last Christmas we knew he was declining fast. Tough day already and in-laws today and tomorrow. Feels tough this year.

Thank you for this thread.

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