To feel like there's so much pressure to make Christmas magical?

[Tinselandturnip]

I feel like I can't keep up with everything you see and hear plastered over social media. I'm always worrying that I haven't done enough for DS and that it's not going to be special enough once I see what other people have planned. I haven't done elf on the shelf, nothing particularly exciting was planned on Christmas eve, no cardboard train to put presents in, hadn't even heard of a north pole breakfast until the other day. We have a simple tree, lots of nice gifts for the big day, and spent some nice time at home making cards, watching some Christmas films, and having nibbles. A lot of this is probably my own insecurities and feeling like I'm never doing enough, but it really does feel like too much expectation to make it magical for the kids. I feel sad this evening that I didn't think to buy DS a special Christmas cup after seeing something silly that a friend posted! And I know that shouldn't matter at all! Please tell me it's not just me?

Same! I remember selection boxes and fresh orange juice.

Crackers at the table.

Not only that, it’s designed to get parents to spend money.

Consumerism at its finest. Block social media and live your life.

Try to think about how lucky you and your family are. There are many out there who can't afford to get a turkey and a pile of presents and nice nibbles. Or many who don't get to spend Christmas with their loved ones for various reasons.

Delete your social media accounts and stop watching tv from October and you'll be fine!

Your Christmas sounds like ours. Today my husband took the kids to the park then we swapped and I took them to pets at home to buy a present for DCat 😂 this evening we had pizza and chips infront of the tv watching home alone. Tomorrow is presents plus roast dinner and that's basically it. We don't do elf on shelf, any Christmas eve boxes or trains. Gifts are under the tree and on the sofa in respective piles plus stocking from Santa. V similar to our Christmases growing up and I LOVED them.

Completely agree. I didn't even know Christmas Eve boxes were a thing until recently.
Also everyone now seems to have added to the to-do list that they must assemble all toys etc before Christmas day.
When I was a kid, it was one of the things that kept the excitement going - you'd open your presents and later on Dad would get his specs out and dig out batteries or you'd assemble the thing and watch it gradually come to life.
Everyone seems to be assembling trampolines in the pitch black at midnight on Christmas eve and I just don't think you have to.

Also I think having a specific plate to buy for Santa's mince pie and carrot to go on is a sign of capitalism that's about collapse it on itself

I’ve got a 5 yo and a 2 yo. We’ve done nothing ‘festive’ beyond what DC1’s school has organised (nativity and Christmas fair). We spent today as we normally would if it had been a bog standard weekend. Tomorrow will be very low key. No family beyond the 4 of us, chilled meals, presents probably done by 8am and likely still a trip to the park.

DC1 is autistic and does not cope with change. But even if he wasn’t, the most wrung out, fraught parents I’ve seen are the ones throwing a shit ton of money and a shit ton of time (and a shit ton of expectations) in the pursuit of ‘making memories’ with tired, wrung out children who just want to relax after a long term at school.

I used to get caught up in all these… I want to say American traditions but found I was so busy faffing I wasn’t present and watching my children enjoy Christmas. I asked DD7 what she likes to do and built a routine from there: Christmas Eve walk, picky bits and Home Alone 2 - not a single trip to home bargains required!!

I just Googled this North Pole breakfast. It appears to be a shedload of sugar.

Think of social media like you would a film, or a magazine spread. You suspend disbelief but you know it’s not real. It’s the same, no-one lives like that really. It’s all smoke and mirrors to look pretty.

I don’t expect to look like the models because it’s photoshop. The same applies to the houses. Even if I did have the inclination who honestly has the time or money?

Your DS won’t remember whether there was a Christmas Cup, or a light show, or a creepy elf. He will remember how he felt. That he was warm, loved, and spent time with his favourite people. What else is there to worry about?

I think a lot of kids find all the build up quite overstimulating and the anticipation can be too much.

When my son was 10, he went to bed Xmas eve and said that he doesn't really care too much about presents. What he actually loves about Xmas is family being around, christmas dinner and playing games etc.
And he's no Tiny Tim, he's usually a right demanding piece of work, had to double check I'd heard right.

No cant say,ever felt the need, it comes with maturity we do the bits we liked growing up and realise what is important and so that

I’ve just started a new job in an arena where many children I work with- simply won’t have a magical Christmas - your Christmas sounds lovely- the magic believe it or not is you …. You might not feel it but you create it - it can’t be bought/sold/borrowed/stolen - it’s there and it’s different behind every front door.

You DEFINITELY are enough.

I don’t buy into all that social media bullshit. We don’t do the elf, or Xmas eve boxes, or new PJs. We’ve watched Elf tonight, and DS8 has just put down the cookie for Santa. And you know what, he’s excited for Xmas like any other kid. None of that other shit matters.

Christmas isn’t meant to be magical. Magic is un-Christian.

You’re doing great. Get off social media - most of it is direct or indirect advertising. Capitalism innit and the whole game is to drive (over)consumption.

We don’t do any of the recent-ish extras - elf on the shelf, xmas eve boxes, new pjs etc. Mostly because I cannot be bothered - esp. as Kids won’t remember any of it. The memories and stories will mostly be about togetherness. Like years on our eldest still talk about the great dog nicking all the bacon sarnies debacle.

I do none of this rubbish and feel perfectly fine about it, my children have more than they need, than I had, and are absolutely spoiled as it is.

I have a 14 & 10 year old. We’ve done nothing festive apart from a panto that ds10 goes to every year for his birthday. Other than that its been a chilled one!
Tomorrow just the 4 of us, a few presents (even halved their presents this year), a nice dinner with scratch cards in the crackers & then just chill and let them play with their new stuff.
Christmas over consumption wasn’t like this till social media was invented. It’s all one giant competition - it’s not magical.

The thing is you could have done all that then you go onto SM and there’s something new you didn’t think of. Your Christmas sounds lovely as is. I don’t do Elf, because I just don’t want to add one more thing and my kids are fine with that. A home filled with love means so much more. We have been doing Xmas movies, lazy days and just enjoying downtime. The kids have never been happier.

Tonight we did some funny family photos, and I can tell you that we laughed with tears rolling down. Even my 3yo found this hilarious. I think we need to go back to simpler times.

I was feeling a bit sad this evening that today wasn't "special" enough (he's with his dad now til boxing day), but actually it was just like you described and I thought it sounded lovely as I read it!

OK I am much older (50s) but what made Christmas special was singing carols, the Christmas tree and I guess getting a special present (not that I remember those much now). Seeing my grandparents definitely.
Asking my kids about what they look back on as magical it was the run up to Christmas, seeing friends and family, the Christmas tree, helping to wrap presents, playing games together, oh and yes presents.
Kids remember the important stuff NOT a cardboard train (???) and a North Pole Breakfast (??????) or a special cup!! It’s all crap and commercialism, social media pressure to buy stuff. Just ignore and move on. You and your kids don’t need it.

I was an 80s/90s child. We went to a grotto to see Father Christmas and drove round looking at Christmas lights. That was our festivities. Yet it was still so magical for us.
Kids don’t need to be doing tonnes of ‘stuff’. The magic comes from how you make them feel.

I had a wee cry earlier about something similar. As a child I was given piles of presents, I remember being happy seeing my parents reactions to me opening the gifts. But the rest of the year they didn’t really give a shit about me. This year I intentionally scaled back, but there’s a part of me saying this isn’t enough. It is though, and she’ll be delighted with the carefully selected gifts I’ve got her. I’m going for presence over presents 😂

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Christmas is magical. It’s not a social
media competition.