Single parent family xmas

[sunshine244]

I used to love xmas as a child - we went to my grandparents and there were lots of cousins to play with.

Then later on with my ex's enormous family there were lots of different family catch-upset, meals etc to enjoy over the two week holiday.

I'm now a single mum with no new partner (and frankly not looking for one as life is complicated enough!). I've got an autistic child who struggles with too much noise and people. Over time this means I've been quite cut off from a lot of friends. I no longer have my ex's side of the family (abusive relationship). One of my parents is dead and they had a tiny family who we never see. My other parent is still alive and have lots of family but spread throughout the world. It just leaves me and my kids plus one parent who isn't really into xmas.

We do have special routines and nice food and time together but it's not the big family Christmas all my friends seems to have. Feels quite lonely, especially when my kids are away with their Dad. Really keen to heard from others in similar circumstances and how you make it special and/or come to terms with things not being what you hoped for.

Feel for you, similar backstory of Christmas with large family, abusive ex, ND child.
Mids are with their dad this year, first time alone on CD. We did christmas last Sunday, took the pressure off to delivery presents to others, which was really good for my two. We have our own traditions that I've brought forward from my childhood and included some new traditions too. Had a lovely Christmas.

Tomorrow I have laying a new kitchen floor 🤣 so keeping busy ans giving myself something to achieve works for me, abd I've got picky bits for dinner, treat pudding and wine. Because I've had Christmas with the kids I don't feel that bad about tomorrow.
It isn't easy as I always expected to have lots of cousins around for my kids, but I've learnt that quality is better than quantity and have arranged meet ups with people we love in the right situations to support the kids.

It won’t be just you, it’s just me and my kids at Xmas, always has been since I had kids as I’m not close to my family and they don’t see their father.

I'm similar.

One DD (8). My dad died when i was pregnant. I'm estranged from my mother (she's really not very nice to me). Mums family ( Brother + wife + kids (now grown up) emigrated when i was a teenager, we were close as kids). Dad's family live 5-6 hours away. My relationship with my DB and SIL is strained on account of my mother.

My two closest friends have big families.
Friend 1 has never moved away from her place of birth, and has short generation gaps in her family. Friend 2 dislikes Christmas, so is easier to talk to about it, but plays the game and is hosting Christmas for 14 this year.

I'm soon to be divorced. I'm really feeling it this year.

Just me and DC7 tomorrow. We always do a lunch together on Christmas Eve and some last minute shopping: evening is matching PJs, takeaway curry for tea, and Muppets Christmas Carol. Tomorrow it’ll just be the two of us. We’ll do gifts in the morning, play with toys, and have a mid afternoon dinner. I’m estranged from my DM and the rest of my family live about 3 hours away, so the next time we’ll see anyone is possibly after Boxing Day, and that probably won’t be family but local friends.

Next year, if DC’s DF gets his act together (unlikely), they won’t be with me and I’ll be alone. But honestly, I’ll relish it - as a single mum, I never have time to myself. I’ll spend the day in bed with the cat and loads of good cheese, watching movies, reading books, listening to carols, and napping. Starting to actually feel quite excited for it. 😂

It's just me and my teens tomorrow. Done it for over a decade now. All my aunts, uncles and cousins live 100's of miles away. Even my ex's family all moved away.

I will see a couple of my family next week. It's still a very sparse, quiet Xmas though.

Also in much the same position. It is not easy and very isolating. Things are starting to get less isolating now that child is becoming older. But people just don’t understand and I get this.

Nice to hear from others in similar situations 😊

I worry that in a decade I'll be home alone. Might become a crazy cat lady instead!

I'd have loved a big family Xmas but don't have the family.

It's four of us and I do enjoy it.. fairy lights , the smell of organes , good music ,good food...relax...

It’s my Xmas with the kids, but every other year I don’t spend it with them.

I’ve got around it by planning a self indulgent lovely day for myself. Cook a gorgeous meal that my kids would never eat, champagne and a stack of good books and films.

also meet up with some friends for a walk during the day which breaks it up and actually means I have a lovely day

Im a widow, since my kids were young, and my sisters live in another country. My DH has five brothers and there was one big get together n the past, but not anymore as the grandparents have all passed. So its just me and my young adult kids. But you know what? It may not be the bustling dinner for ten I had in the past, but for my kids it’s their normal. Neither have shown any disappointment that we are not going to visit family this holiday. They seem just as happy with the three of us and a lovely meal, a game after and a Christmas movie.

I am also a widowed parent, not much family. When the kids were little we used to go out for Christmas lunch with in laws, we did have a few Christmas’s with my one of my relatives which meant there were 11 of us. Recently, it’s just been me and my kids and a family friend so about 6 of us. We see the in laws for a pre Christmas get together. I get what you mean about a big family Christmas but my kids love staying at home as a family.
I’m sure you’ll be fine, things change as the kids get older, they’ll become great company for you. Large family gatherings have their own drawbacks.

I’ve had thirty years of it only ever being me and my children, no family left and live very rurally. It’s peaceful, never any drama.