Is anyone else’s DH spoiling Christmas?

[dhspoilongo]

I guess the d bit is questionable!

DH, for no apparent reason, has been very grumpy to me the last few days. Only when Dc aren’t in the rooms and only to me. I have no idea why. I’ve asked, he says there’s nothing wrong, I haven’t done anything etc. I told him I was upset earlier because of his attitude and he said something like ‘if you’ve finished I’m going to get on with X’. I cried earlier which he saw, he gave me a very light hug and said sorry but then reverted soon after. I have done everything so far for Christmas so it’s not like he’s stressed about that. So anyway I’ve felt miserable as anything today but pulled myself together and did Christmas crafts etc with the kids and put a brave face on. But I just wanted to know if anyone else’s ‘d’h has spoiled Christmas for them? We’ve had several Christmas’ together and he’s never done this before.

My ex ruined every Christmas and birthday for me.

With the combo of him being a twat and my parents forcing me to cook them a dinner and then bitch about it I always thought I hated Christmas.

I’m giving it a miss this year but next year I’m going to try the Christmas thing again.

Don't let him see he's upset you again. Blank him till he snaps out of it. Decide you and the kids are going to have a good Christmas together and he's irrelevant. Whatever is going on, if he can't either put a smile or be straight with you about why not, then don't give him the satisfaction of it spoiling your day.

Crack on with enjoying your Christmas for you and your kids. Let the big baby come out the other side x

Not this year, because we separated 10 months ago. He found a way to ruin literally every Christmas for the previous 10 years. It wasn't accidentally or a coincidence.

I'm ill and DP couldn't be less disapproving if he tried. I think it's because he's freaking out about self-imposed expectations of what he now feels he has to manage alone, but we're not hosting anyone, the DC couldn't give two hoots, so it really is just him being weirdly precious. He doesn't even really like Christmas, but feels like it has to be done a certain way. I usually do all the heavy lifting in the run-up to Christmas (all prep already done!) and on the day itself, while he's busy being anxious, so I don't get why he doesn't just take this as a golden opportunity to chill out and enjoy a more low-key affair. I'm so annoyed, which isn't conducive to recovery.

Mines been a bit moody today, but took himself out for a walk for an hour about 4.30pm and seems much cheerier for it. (I suspect he went for a pint!)

You say you've had several Christmases together. Is he the children's father? How long have you been married?

No, my DH is not spoiling my Christmas. And if he ever decided to, he'd only do it the once 👋🚪

Hate to say it but maybe there's someone else and he's not happy being there?

could there be something genuinely wrong if he doesn’t have form for this?

Do you mean “more disapproving” ?

Yes my DH used to be like that. The past few years I concentrated on the children and doing things with them with hardly a glance his way as I refused to have Christmas totally ruined, and he just ramped it up to where he did it to the children. The past two years have been grump free though, you'll never guess why 😉

He's not, because I'm not with the miserable sod anymore! It's brilliant! He has spoilt them before though, absolutely, as well as my 40th birthday. Git.

I agree with other advice to just totally ignore his behaviour and focus on other people who are there with you. Don't let him see that he's upset you and make out that he's just an irrelevance. He will feel pretty uncomfortable if you don't even look his way or, if you do, just look through him like he's not there. I used to do this with my God-awful exH and it did get through to him.

Is there anything going on that he doesn’t know about and might’ve found out?

I’m sorry to say I wonder if he’d rather be somewhere else.

Ignore him, focus on the kids and deal with his mardiness after Christmas

Mine is moody due to lack of sex !

My ex could ruin Christmas (or other events). It's quite lovely no longer being married.

I don’t like to worry you but from experience I would say he might have someone else and is twisting his guilt into anger at you.
I hope I am wrong.

I feel your pain OP. DH hates Christmas, no idea why, nor do I care. The only thing I’ve asked him to do this year is hoover the stairs… cue much (complaining) muttering while he found the correct attachment. Just crack on regardless and make sure everyone has a good time.

Yes, that's it. My head is swimming.

Same here!

@Sweetiedarling7that was my first instinct. If he’d always been like that I wouldn’t think it, but the fact it’s a very recent development suggests there’s something more to it. He’s hiding or worried about something.

This was exact experience unfortunately and I am really hoping it's not for the op

Nope. Cause I couldn't live with a man like that...