Neighbour parking wars - help me not be a pushover

[LemonBelly]

I’ve been living in a house for 2 years, I live alone and own my property and also the parking space in our shared car park. Every house has one numbered space and there are 2 visitor spaces to make 8 spaces total. The adjacent road has no restrictions so is usually okay to find a space too.

My neighbour also lives alone but has 3 grown children and grandchildren that visit a lot.

It started when her son parked in front of her space (not in an actual space) which meant I couldn’t reverse out of my parking space, the car park is quite tight. I knocked on the door and asked if they could move and that they could park in my space overnight as I was going out. She told me I should reverse into my space and then I could get out easier in future but I have a dog who rides in the boot which is why I park forwards. I thought it was cheeky to tell me how to park when her visitor was the one blocking half the car park.

This happened at least 3 other occasions where I had to knock because various of her visitors blocked me in or out. Because they all visit at once they use all the visitor spaces and still park wherever they want in the car park.

I was going on a 2 week holiday and said her family could use my space to be nice. From then she would always ask me if I was going out/away. She will stand in her door way and watch me put a bag in my car and ask me when I’ll be back, she doesn’t say ‘can we use your space’ but I know that’s what she’s asking. I will reply and say oh I’m in an out really and she will ask ‘are you here tonight?’

Over the summer twice I came back and found 2 kids ride on car things in my space, parked very neatly, as the grandkids had been riding around in the car park. It is funny but also taking the p, I had to get out my car to move the toy cars so I could park.

Recently I came home from work and her visitor was parked in my space again, I knocked and she said ‘oh sorry you put your bin out on Tuesday (2 days early) so I assumed you would be away on bin day’.

Last night I got home and again one of her visitors was parked in my space, and in every other visitor space. I knocked but nobody was home so I messaged her and she said ‘really sorry, we are at xyz pub just settling the bill will be back in a sec x ‘ the pub is less than 5 mins walk from my house but it took 22 minutes for them to come and move it so I could park in my own space.

I find it hard to be annoyed because she’s always so smiley and apologetic and so are her family but they never park in the other neighbours spaces. I think they know I won’t confront them. How do I tell her I’ve had enough without causing a problem?! I’ve heard them yelling at each other through the walls before and I’m concerned they could be quite volatile and I don’t have anyone in my corner to support me.

"It's becoming a hassle having to wait to get into my parking space when one of your visitors is using it. In future please don't allow your guests to park in my space unless I explicitly say I'm on holiday/not using it. Thanks."

Can you get one of those bars so they can't use it?

Otherwise I'd just say that it's getting inconvenient for you having to ask them to move all the time and their guests having to come out at random times and that from now on it's best they just park on the road and you don't want people in your space.

Unfortunately you’ve created a precedent which she’s just going to take more and more advantage of. You’ll have to tell her that as the current arrangement isn’t working any more - you keep having to ask her visitors to move from your space - you’d appreciate it if she no longer made any use of it at all. How you enforce that is a different matter though. If your space is being used by one of her visitors, you’ll just have to leave your car across the end of the space and block them in - if they have to ask you to move often enough, they may get the message.

I think you will just have to be direct because you volunteered it at the start so she may not realise how annoying she’s being

Have bollards installed put them up when you are not there, then no one can use without your permission

At the risk of showing how long i have been a member...Penguin bollards are your saviour here.

You created this situation unfortunately. But you need to be firm and tell her no more as they are taking the piss. But on a serious note look at your deeds and whether you can put a retractable bollard in

Totally sympathise as I have this problem! Lovely neighbours but their visitors ( fam) block me in all the time. When I ask for the cars to be moved they all cheerfully say ‘yes no problem, we’ll move the car now’ but then take 15 / 20 minutes.
It’s so rude and selfish. I’ve started parking at a funny angle ( within my space) which means another car cannot block me in. I’ve also woken them up really early a few times ( 5am) to move the car which has been effective!

I'd take photos going forwards and then contact your community police support officer and say that this is an ongoing issue, you have tried to flag it on numerous occassions, it has escalated and you think it is because you live alone and they are trying to intimidate you and would the police mind going round and having a quiet word.

I think you will have to have a word and say it was fine at first but now it’s becoming inconvenient to have to knock in order to park in your own space that you pay for/own. Or I also like a PP’s suggestion of knocking really early

I used to live in an apartment with the same parking system. A bollard is your only option.

I agree bollard is the way forward here if your deeds allow it. Because even if you have a conversation with her, there will still be times when the family members will still think "oh well just on this occasion I'm sure it'll be fine" or "I'm only going to be 10 mins".

It won't resolve them blocking your space though. Is there a residents association or management agency you could complain to as surely this affects others that park there too?

I sympathise OP

I’m pretty fed up with neighbours who think they are exempt from courtesy and simple good manners.

Surely time to deploy that mn classic...

The penguin bollard 🐧

Your mistake was being generous in the first place especially when they were already being cheeky blocking you in. Now you need to say that your space is being used too often and it’s inconvenient so no more parking. Good luck.

Thanks everyone, I’ll investigate about the bollard but it sounds expensive and not something I have the spare money for at the moment, but is something I can save for. I’m think going to be a coward and message her rather than knock because I think it’s better to have the proof incase she totally ignores me or has an issue 🤦🏻‍♀️ it’s a shame because I have no issues with her using my space when I’m not there and it could have worked out fine for everyone if they didn’t start taking the p

There’s not an official residents association or anything like that. It doesn’t really affect anyone else because A) they’re all quite old and barely move or use their cars or have visitors and B) the way the car is laid out, her space is at the end and mine is next to her so when someone parks at the end of the car park, which isn’t a space, it’s really only mine and her car that is affected not being able to get in and out. It’s still clear enough for everyone else

It’s so much harder when they are nice isn’t it! Like I can’t be mad at her because she’s all smiles and sorry darling, how have you been anyway etc

good idea about knocking early, I might have to do just that and see if it makes a difference when the inconvenience is on her

Write a letter expressing that you know that parking can be challenging but please do not use my parking space unless you have asked me first. Super polite but no ambiguity. If she then continues to allow visitors without asking first I would get grumpy but try the super polite, friendly but firm approach first for the sake of keeping things neighbourly, no point getting grumpy yet

Ps I’m the one guilty of blocking my neighbours occasionally, but only because of at parking chaos and I can see both their cars on the street (they prefer not to use the car park) I always do text them, Fridays are a nightmare here because the residents car park fills up with visitors and I get home at 5.30 to no space anywhere, car park or road

OP set new ground rules here.
”please don’t use my space anymore I’m not travelling for work/holiday this year”

Give people an inch and they'll take a mile! I have a similar problem, we all have 2 allocated spaces. Mine are directly in front of my house and across the road have one in front and one around the back and there is also a visitors space next to their house. They have 2 cars and treat the visitors space as their own, no one else gets a look in. I only have one car and they once asked if they could use my 2nd space. I, stupidly, said yes. They now use it whenever they feel like and it's me who has to ask them to use my own space if I have visitors coming. I'd had enough one day when I was expecting a visit from a nurse and the neighbour asked could her brother park in my 2nd space. I replied that it wasn't convenient today as I had an important appointment with the nurse (my dh is seriously ill) at 2pm (this was 1.30pm) and they needed to park in front of my house. Neighbour said no problem they'd find another space. Next thing I look out of the window and her dh had parked his car in my space so their visitor could park in his. He did actually move it at 1.55pm but I spent ages worrying it wouldn't be moved in time. They shouldn't have put me through that stress when I'd explained I was waiting for an important medical appointment. They are a young couple and just too damn lazy to walk round the back of their house to their other space. I now park my car smack in the middle of both my spaces so they don't have room to park on either side. They've now stopped saying hello to me which is a shame but shows their true colours. I think you'll have to tell your neighbour straight that your parking space is off limits and if anyone parks in it I'd block them in. You'll probably end up falling out with them but you have to stand up for yourself or people will walk all over you. Sadly, since my dh became ill and housebound, I find people try to take advantage of me and I won't let that happen.

I think you could just message the truth, perhaps say ‘I seem to be blocked out of my parking space so regularly these days it’s getting to be a pain, can you please ask your visitors to park on the road behind from now on. Thanks
good luck!

Ours aren’t even nice. People who block a neighbour’s drive and trample their flowers the day they move in, are not going to be good neighbours.

It's private land. Police won't do anything.

I'd say to her that I don't want anything coming between us being good neighbours, and to this end, please do not park in my space, or allow anyone else to do so, without explicitly having got my say so first.