To be upset about DH lack of help.

[FestivelyFatTits]

I’m a bit annoyed. With the kids home I’ve been trying to keep on top of the mess, sort out and declutter. I’ve managed to keep it relatively tidy downstairs. But we have a pile of ‘stuff’ to sort through on our landing and a third bathroom to clean. I’ve been asking DH to help me with it for a week at least, explaining what I really don’t want to be doing is tidying up all of Christmas Eve. I had a huge blitz throughout the kitchen and lounge yesterday and set up our Christmas table as we’re hosting this year.
I messaged DH that I’d done XYZ and that if he could sort the landing and get the bathroom done when he came in from work then we shouldn’t have much to do on Christmas Eve other than general tidying up ect.

Anyway, he didn’t do it. I’ve told him I’m a bit upset about it as he’s at work all day and I didn’t want us to be cleaning and tidying on Christmas Eve as we promised the kids we would have our Chinese and watch a Christmas movie with hot chocolate after ‘special’ (Christmas bath bomb) bath.
He said he’ll do it when he’s home. But he knows that’s exactly what I didn’t want to happen as we’re meant to be spending time as a family.

So guess who’s got another full day of picking up after two young children and tidying/cleaning.

He also sets his alarm for 5am, doesn’t leave for work until 7am. He just sits in the sofa with a tea for 2 hours before the rest of us get up. Sometimes he tidys the kitchen a bit. Other times not. You’d think it being Christmas tomorrow he’s try and make my day a bit easier today but nope. Hope he enjoyed his two hour peaceful cup of tea.

the most annoying thing is, is that my post makes him sound absolutely bone idle. But he’s generally very good at housework, he actually does the majority of the washing, most of the dishwasher loading/unloading, bathing and putting kids to bed, he cooks some nights when I can’t be bothered to or if he’s got something in mind he wants to make.
it just seems to be whenever he we have a deadline or something important he leaves it all until the very last second which ends up meaning I’m the one doing it all because I don’t want the stress of feeling like it’s not going to get done.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH🤯

Can you shove the pile of stuff into a cupboard and give the bathroom a 5 min wipe down? Doesn't sound worth scrapping over, if he's pretty 50 50 normally. Enjoy a lazy day and sod the housework.

I could potentially shove it in the attic and hopefully to the back of my mind.. it’s not worth scrapping over you are right. We didn’t argue, I just said I’m a bit upset because I feel like I’ve had to do everything over the last few days and it’s really hard with two young kids following me around.

the stuff will still need sorting into what to keep/chuck and put into boxes.

I think I’m just due on my period and a bit burnt out 😮‍💨🫩

Sounds like you’re both tired. He’s working, you’re busy at home. Just hide the pile and don’t worry about cleaning the bathroom. Enjoy your Christmas Eve together.

I think cut yourself (and DH) some slack. If you're both generally on top of the housework, then surely cleaning the bathroom can be done in 10 minutes by your DH once he gets in from work?

I agree, it's nice to have all this stuff done and out the way (that's definitely my preference), but if the other person in the relationship is more a 'leave everything to the last minute' person, you do sometimes need to compromise. We're hoping to put out house on the market in January and I was hoping my DH would help me finish off a few jobs before Christmas, like fitting skirting boards in the kitchen. It hasn't been done because we're both pretty burnt out from work and life in general. It will get done when it needs to (likely at the very last minute, the night before the Estate Agents come over to take photos). It's not ideal, but it's not worth sweating the small stuff if your relationship is good in general imo.

Hope U had a great Xmas
I'd be popping all the stuff to be sorted onto his side of the bed tbh.
And I'm saying that's as the person who works full time and still does loads of stuff before and after work (hospital shifts)
He has done it cos he can't be bothered
Or just leave it on the landing for your visitors to see and tell them he hasn't got to it yet
Happy new year OP 🥳

But how much of what you have both decided both of you has to be done or how much do have in your head needs to be done, there is a difference